Nursery issues - AIBU to complain?

[minimagnums]

DC, 3, just started nursery last week at a local primary school.
They previously attended another local nursery and we had a fantastic experience with them, no complaints at all.

•First day - DC not given packed lunch, mistakenly given school dinner (DC has dietary requirements and is picky eater) which meant they ate nothing all day. No apologies for their mistake.

• next day given packed lunch but DC only ate things that were easily accessible and anything that required help was not touched or opened (this is obviously an assumption that it seems as though no one is helping).

• charged a further 2 times for a school meal even after teacher being made aware, DH phoned the school office who said they'd phone back and update it. This never happened. I ended up having to go into to the school office before work and show them the mistake.

• DC came home with clear foot/shoe imprint on his forehead. (General dirt I wouldn't have been concerned)

• opened DCs backpack to find 2 bags of sopping wet dirty clothes (underwear included) that were not ours, with all of DC's clean entire spare uniform no longer there. I showed this to the teacher on drop off and was briefly told there had been a 'mix up' and to give her the bag. I still have no idea where his spare uniform and clothes are no apology for any of it.

AIBU to ask to have a meeting/speak to either his teachers privately or the head?

I work in a school nursery. September is absolutely hectic. Some children have only just turned 3, others already turning 4, so a wide age range when they are so little.

I wouldn't judge them based on this, it's quite possible they are running around like headless chickens trying to make sure everyone is ok and things like packing uniform in the correct back fall by the wayside.

I would ask for a meeting and let them know, but just be aware it won't be because of laziness or just being a bit shit. It's honestly manic in all eyfs depts at this time of year while new children are settling in.

Also, My son struggles to open packets so I put everything into little
Tupperware containers that he can open easily.

The dinner hall will be full of children dropping trays, spilling drinks, eating pudding before the main etc... I would never avoid helping a child that couldn't open something but unless they hold it up and ask for help it may not get noticed. Not saying this is right, I do keep a look out though and open things I can see sticking out of lunchboxes.

If they gave your child a meal they couldn't eat due to allergies/intolerances or religious reasons... strong complaint. Its basic food safety.

Not opening packets... general expectation they need stuff they cN access themselves.

Foot imprint.. do you mean you think they were kicked in the face?

Bag mix up... unfortunate. Make sure the bag and clothes are clearly named.

Yes I've read about 6-8 all with parents wanting to make complaints in first days /weeks if nursery or reception. It is manic (!) In early years settings for the first 2/3 weeks, they are settling and getting to know the children, give them a chance. It will be fine, you don't need to go in demanding meetings and private chats. Just hand back the wet clothes, provide him with food he can open himself and chill.

Clothes wouldn't bother me, mix-ups with clothes happen from time to time. I wouldn't send stuff DC couldn't open in a packed lunch. The wrong meal is not good at all though and the footprint. Was be hurt or bruised? Was he able to say what had happened?

Did they give him something he was allergic to? That would concern me quite a lot.

For the packed lunch, I wouldn't have sent things that required help, what sort of things do you mean?

I meant things like a pack of crisps and a banana

Give fruit your child can open easily, like tangerines or ready sliced/ de stoned and in a pot like cherries, apricot, mango or peaches. Put a few crisps in a pot or a small bag, a small child doesn’t need a whole packet.

My 9yo still struggles to open things so I either part open them or prep them for him. He struggled with gladwrap thinking he couldn’t rip it open, bless him. You’ll get frowned on for the pack of crisps. I would decant them into a container. Banana separate it length ways rather than cutting it into circles. It will stay dry and is easier to eat. Get a lunch box with sections to make sure everything is easy to get to but at age 3 I know they will still need help. Hope it gets better for you.

You have to decant everything or twist the tops off yoghurts for example.

Thanks for all of the helpful tips and advice. It's a learning curve for us all. ❤️

Learning curve??
The child came home with a footprint on his head! A teacher or TA should have seen that!

Yes I agree. Although when we wiped the mark off, there wasn't any sign of redness or pain so I'm really hoping he wasn't kicked 😔
I was referring to mix ups mainly when I said learning curve, this is my oldest child so first to go to preschool and it's hard to know what's acceptable regarding expectations.

Did you ask him how he got the dirt on his face? They could have been trying to get their feet on their own faces in a game for example (kids have competitions over very silly things!).

Its a very odd place to have a shoe mark definitely

Yes to a bento style lunch box and easy open Tupperware and to waiting another week to see if things improve, chasing for spare clothes if not returned.

I’m surprised by the relaxed attitude from PPs about the missing uniform.
Children misplace things, yes, but in this case someone took a brand new uniform set from her child’s bag, this is not a case of ‘things get lost’!

I would definitely expect it to be replaced - and for the school to fully take care of it: remembering who the child was, chasing their parents, making sure the returned uniform is in brand new condition, etc.

Preschools are often run on the same staffing ratios as schools but with children that are younger and need more help... I would probably return to the other nursery if I had the choice.
I think the care is pretty shoddy in many preschools that are run on a shoestring and employ a qualified teacher meaning much higher ratios. But there's no need for it to be this way, as you know from your other nursery.
Having experienced this with one of my children, I sent the other child to a private nursery.

Yes. I'm more annoyed at the fact this was a teachers doing not a child, his bag (in 3 different places) and clothes (I think!) were all labelled with full name so I can't understand how this happened. I was under the impression they'd replenish his backpack today with the clothes that were wrongly given to a different child however his bag came back without his spares again. They did send back a wet pair of underwear and put my child in a spare pair (definitely spares as size 6-7y and mt child barely fits 2-3 on bottom!) so they should've seen his spares are not there. I really can't afford to lose another whole set of uniform right now, so I'm going to have to remind them tomorrow to return his clothes.