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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Barking dogs and kind yet oblivious neighbour. Feel like screaming.

18 replies

Heartbeats18 · 13/09/2023 13:22

AIBU, my neighbour who may I add is lovely has 2 Pomeranian dogs who constantly bark. It's not so bad when they are inside but if she goes out, they bark until she returns. If she lets them outside, they bark constantly. She stands chatting at her gate to the neighbours and she is completely oblivious to the fact the 2 dogs are barking madly in the garden. The same happens when she is in the back garden, they just bark and she is oblivious. She doesn't tell them to stop or move, or even take them inside. She just ignores them and everyone else has to listen to them. These dogs have also gone to bite me and have bit my friend when he walked up the path to knock on the door. They literally go for anyone. She also told me they have also bit her on then hand when she got into bed. I'm 8 months pregnant and have had to have my windows shut due to the constant barking when they are in the garden. In frustration I slammed the window shut whilst they where outside barking and she took them in. I want to make her aware of there barking but I also don't want to fall out with her as she is a lovely kind woman. I just find her so selfish and I am feeling very frustrated. What would you do? Thank you.

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 13/09/2023 13:26

Don't be a doormat. Be prepared to consider the dogs and your welfare, please don't use the possibility of falling out to stop saying anything.

ClementWeatherToday · 13/09/2023 13:34

"Sarah, I haven't wanted to say anything before now as I wanted to give you some time to sort it out yourself but at this point I really feel I must talk to you about the dogs' constant barking. Something must be done. What have you explored so far? Shall we ring the local trainer and book them in? You're such a lovely neighbour, I know you understand that this can't go on any longer as it's affecting everyone, including the poor dogs!"

Thewizardbinbag · 13/09/2023 13:34

Just tell her! Omg.

Heartbeats18 · 13/09/2023 13:43

I feel like it's the elephant in the room and I know she would most likely sulk and take it personally. She is the type of neighbour who pops in with food or little treats for my son ( I don't eat the food as her hygiene isn't great -think dirty fingernails etc) what I guess I'm trying to say is I just feel awful that she is so nice and I don't want to upset her but surely she must know its annoying for everyone? I'm due off work soon for my maternity and the thought of being home all day with my newborn and listening to the them bark will drive me mad. I have even considered buying a bark deterrent for my garden they emits a noise only the dogs can hear when they bark.

OP posts:
NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 13/09/2023 13:44

Hey Madge… We REALLY need to talk about the dogs’ incessant barking. It’s driving me and everyone else utterly mad. Also, your dogs have bitten one of my visitors and I’m due to have a baby soon. I’m very worried that you are minimizing how aggressive they are. I don’t think you can pretend that it’s not a problem for everyone else around here. I know you love them and I’m sure you don’t want the council or dog wardens involved but from what I hear around the place, I’m guessing it won’t be long. What do you intend to do about it?

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 13/09/2023 13:45

She’s trying to pay you off for the intrusion with treats. Who cares if she sulks?

MinnieTruck · 13/09/2023 13:45

‘How come the dogs are always barking, are they okay?’ Is what I’d say to either of my neighbours. Find out what the problem is and hopefully make them more aware

Foggyfoggyfoggy · 13/09/2023 13:50

Last week I threw water out the window at ndn ddog. Not to wet it but as a shocker.. Usually a bang on the window has it running inside..
Shocker was on me as ndn was in! But it prompted her we really are at the end of our tether.... Hose pipe op-quick swish over that fence. It will be scuttling indoors soon enough.. Or council. Could be a complaint from any neighbour surely?

Iminpatchinghell · 13/09/2023 18:34

My neighbour has a barky dog. They got it at the end of the covid lockdowns and it yaps a lot too. My husband just went round and knocked on the door, they didn’t answer so he left a note.
The dog does still bark, but it’s usually a couple of minutes and it shuts up.
If she’s nice then there will be a nice way to say it to her. Just say you feel awkward mentioning it, since you get on so well and value her, but the dogs barking is bothering you and you’re worried about the baby arriving and having to listen to constant barking. If she’s nice, she won’t mind you being honest.

daffodilandtulip · 13/09/2023 19:11

So many barking dogs since covid. It's a life ruiner and I'm sick of it.

Lemmony · 13/09/2023 19:44

YANBU, it often means the dogs are being neglected :(

HoraceTheLlama · 13/09/2023 19:49

Lemmony · 13/09/2023 19:44

YANBU, it often means the dogs are being neglected :(

Bit of a stretch. We used to have a very yappy dog, that was very much loved and cared for. He was just a breed well known for yapping. We knew it was an issue, so took steps to resolve it, but you can’t stop it completely.

but in this case OPs neighbour is unreasonable to not try and mitigate this, she can’t surely be that oblivious

Heartbeats18 · 13/09/2023 22:06

I don't believe they are being neglected as they seem well loved. I genuinely believe she thinks if she doesn't react and ignores their barking then so will everyone else. I wouldn't mind the barking so much if she actually acknowledged it and shushed them or told them to go inside. But she will happily stand there letting them bark whilst she starts a conversation with someone and they can be barking for however long she decides to be outside. I can sit in my back garden and she will let them out in her garden for a wee and they will bark as soon as they door opens but she won't utter a word to them and it just continues. On a rare day off I can hear them barking through the walls if she pops to the shop. She let them out before and the where barking away, I slammed the windows shut up and she has took them in. No doubt I feel like she will pop around through the week with some type of gift as a conversation starter. I'm going to mention something to her if she knocks. For context, we call her Mrs bouquet. It's draining. I feel like screaming at her.

OP posts:
ohsuzannah · 13/09/2023 22:36

We have 3 dachshunds and they bark if a sparrow farts. I was forced to buy one of those things that lets out a high pitch. You point it at the dog and press the button. At night it flashes as well. As soon as they heard it and paused, I'd say STOP in a stern voice. It actually worked. I only need to say stop now and they do. Its extremely anti social to let dogs bark like that.

dearanon · 13/09/2023 23:39

ohsuzannah · 13/09/2023 22:36

We have 3 dachshunds and they bark if a sparrow farts. I was forced to buy one of those things that lets out a high pitch. You point it at the dog and press the button. At night it flashes as well. As soon as they heard it and paused, I'd say STOP in a stern voice. It actually worked. I only need to say stop now and they do. Its extremely anti social to let dogs bark like that.

What is this contraption you have? I have a yapper.

Notcontent · 14/09/2023 00:47

daffodilandtulip · 13/09/2023 19:11

So many barking dogs since covid. It's a life ruiner and I'm sick of it.

This is so true! I am in London and in the past never noticed too many barking dogs around where I live. Most people keep their dogs inside and take them out on regular walks, rather than putting them out in our very small gardens. But since Covid there are many more dogs and suddenly many of them are being left out just to bark all day, which is really not on when people live in small houses on top of each other.

dameofdilemma · 14/09/2023 15:47

Yup - 3 big dogs near us left to bark like crazy outside up to 10-11pm at night, while the nice but clueless owners shout ineffectually from inside. They're not remotely trained in any way (two are young rescue dogs from overseas).

Agree can't be good for the dogs. We did say something and they apologised but have an adult daughter who is disinterested so when she's in charge she just leaves them outside.

ohsuzannah · 17/09/2023 23:12

@dearanon
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