IL trying to ring fence money from friend

[curtaineod]

I'm aware she probably needs to ask a lawyer.. and she will. But just out of interest..

In laws plan to gift her DH money to invest. But are trying to make sure she can't get it in the case of divorce by setting up a company with DH and putting money into it.

Has anyone else had a similar situation and how did that work out ? I'm aware wealthy people do this kind of stuff a lot to make sure family money continues to stay in the family.

There is no prenup or a postnuptial agreement. Both of which aren't necessarily binding in the case of a divorce anyway.

How does it work with large sums of money being gifted during a marriage? What about when you inherit money during your marriage ? Can your partner get to that ?

How does your friend's dh feel about this? I think if this was a woman whose parents were gifting her a large sum of money, people would advise her to ring fence it so that her dh couldn't make a claim to it if they divorced (how easy that is to do from a legal perspective is another question).

How her dh feels about this and how he handles it will tell you a lot. My family gave me a large amount of money (my inheritance essentially, except that no one was dead). I did not ring fence it and that was a conscious choice. I would have been seriously offended if dh had done so in my shoes. We are a team. We've been together a long time. We have joint legal and financial commitments. We do have our own personal money and spending, but as I saw it, any inheritance was pretty much joint money. As was any inheritance that dh received. We put that into our jointly owned home. Because we trust each other. Ultimately, we're fairly equal contributors anyway - I put in slightly more deposit money on our house, but dh put in a huge amount as well, and dh pays slightly more of the mortgage percentage wise as he earns slightly more. It all balances out and no one is disadvantaged by it.

I think if my family insisted I not share money with dh, I would be pretty upset with them. It would need some discussion about the strings attached. My family is pretty awful, but they respected my choice to make sure that I used any money I received for whatever I wanted, including sharing with dh. I think if there had been strings attached, I would have given more consideration to accepting that money, unless there was a way to do it behind their backs. I think her dh's reaction will say a lot more about the situation than anything. I think most people would probably say that what the ILs are doing is sensible, but it wouldn't personally be my choice in my relationship.

As long as he contributing his fair share to mortgage, bills and all other expenses, I don’t see why he shouldn’t ring fence the inheritance for himself, and as long as your friend does the same.

If he is the type who does zero housework and childcare and built a career because your friend has done all the grunt work at home, then I hope he can’t ring fence it.

If they are setting up a company purely for the reason of giving him money that sounds very dodgy and not very legal.

I think they're setting up a company together. That company will invest. I don't know any other details.

Is she a decent person? Why does she want it?

I’m all for splitting all marital assets, everything earned during the marriage, and also splitting stuff you brought into the marriage if you’ve gone on to have kids and it gives them a fair life with each parent.

But inheritance and a gift from his parents? Surely you just leave that alone. He’ll use the money he earns from the investment in their family life, but if they split up, why would she go after it? It isn’t hers. It is a gift from his parents to him, and will end up going to her kids if they have any. So why would she go after it?

I know there is the law and what actually happens in a divorce but then there is morals. Why is she going to push this? A woman would be advised to ring fence any gift like this from her husband.

Nah, you can set up a company for investing all you want. It isn’t dodgy.

We are more wondering in a legal sense. Rather than moral.. on both sides really. Just the legality of it.

She could probably go after his share in the case of a divorce. The parents would only be ringfencing the amount that's their share in the company ? Or not ? It's probably not as straight forward as that.