Bathroom wars! Votes needed! (Light-hearted)

[takealettermsjones]

I know this is a bit "nicer problems to have," sorry. It's also light-hearted!

We have two bathrooms: the 'main' one and an ensuite off the master bedroom. Both bathrooms have a toilet, sink and shower. The main bathroom has more space, plus a bath.

We have young children, so mornings involve nursery/preschool run, and we also have a young baby. DH is getting ready for work at the same time.

The issue is that DH keeps using the shower in the main bathroom, or going for a poo, just when the rest of us all need to be in and out, using the toilet, washing hands and face after breakfast, brushing teeth. It's about 50:50 whether he uses the main bathroom or ensuite and his choice seems to be completely random 🤣

He says it's not a big deal; if he's in the main one, anyone else can just use the other one. But my argument is that the 'main' bathroom has more space for multiple people (because I have to help the little ones with some things), and all the equipment is already there (kids' toilet seat, kids' step, toothbrushes, etc). I'd have to nip in and get the stuff, and we're trying (!) to teach the little ones about privacy, so that's not ideal!

So wise MNers, who is BU?

YABU: It's no big deal, if he's in one bathroom just use the other one

YANBU: If he's going to be in there for longer than 5 minutes he should use the ensuite

YANBU. There is no real reason, from what you have said, that your DH needs to swap between bathrooms. If all the DC's stuff is in the main bathroom , then yes it makes far more sense for this to be available for them to use in the morning. Does your DH have a reason why he likes to switch the bathroom he uses?

A good compromise would be make the ensuite one his personal bathroom and ban him from the other one altogether. That way you're not going to be restricted because he should always use his own one and the other is free for the rest of the family.

Dont make it your problem.

Set his alarm for an hour earlier
and he can get ready for work
and stink up both bathrooms if he wants
and he gets all the children ready for out

Thus leaving you extra time to snooze in bed.

This would be more like 'man acts like a twat and gets rewarded'.

Does he take part in the getting the children ready or does he just see to himself?

If its no effort to go to the ensuite he can do it all the time.

No real reason, it will just be whichever is closer at the time he decides to go in there!

Yes, I'm also not sure I can outright ban him from a room!

He does help a bit, but I'm on maternity leave so it is mostly on me (I'm fine with that, he works long hours).

He is teaching your children by his actions.

1. he is more important than you and the work you do.
2. that is is fine to create conflict and work for other people "Just Because I want to"

Imagine there was a work computer in his office and one in the middle of the open plan office. What would the other workers do if he kept using the one in the open plan area just because he is not willing to take 10 extra steps into his office

I get what you're saying. I don't think he believes he's more important than me, he's just genuinely forgetting/not thinking. I like the office space analogy though, that's exactly it!

I kind of want to do something petty like use up the entire kitchen just when he wants to make his dinner, just to annoy him back 🤣

Sorry to disagree but tell him once then again that he is messing up the morning schedule he is choosing not to remember.
(If you have to tell him a third time he is getting a cold shower when you turn off the shower fuse every tIme.)
Nothing to stop him going into his bathroom when he gets up. He is making a choice by not respecting the work he is not expected to do in the morning
And your children will take that onboard

I think you're being naive @takealettermsjones. If he was bothered about upsetting you or cared for making your life easier he'd at the very least be keeping out of the main bathroom. He should still be taking part in the morning routine even if your on maternity leave.