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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

18th Birthday

8 replies

idbegratedulforideas · 13/09/2023 11:30

My daughter is 18 soon and would like a house party. I have categorically said no ...

We live in a city centre and a few of her friends have had parties which have gone wrong as lots of unknown kids have turned up because it's been heard about on social media. The police have had to be called.

Therefore I don't think it is too unreasonable of me to say no!?

Ideally she'd love to go out clubbing with friends instead (just because it would be her first time and she'd like to experience it). However, not all her friends will be 18.

Apparently having a party in a hall is no longer "the thing"!

Her and her friends are actually lovely girls but they want to try something they haven't done before (eek)!

Any ideas of what she could do please?

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 13/09/2023 11:37

A party in a hall would be mortifying at 18!

I'd suggest an activity (paintballing, escape room, mani/pedis) followed by a meal (her underage friends can just have coke) and then the ones who are 18 go out if they want to.

Original poster
idbegratedulforideas · 13/09/2023 13:29

takealettermsjones · 13/09/2023 11:37

A party in a hall would be mortifying at 18!

I'd suggest an activity (paintballing, escape room, mani/pedis) followed by a meal (her underage friends can just have coke) and then the ones who are 18 go out if they want to.

Well when I say "hall" I was thinking of a function room (similar to a wedding venue) 😀

OP posts:
skippy67 · 13/09/2023 13:41

Lots of halls round our way don't accept bookings for 18th or 21st birthday parties.

Dotjones · 13/09/2023 13:45

I'm glad you said no to a house party. Whenever I hear anyone even contemplating allowing their 18ish kids to have a house party I always urge them to spend four minutes listening to and reconsider.

Paul Stephenson's Party, Paul Stephenson's Bash,
His house got fucking trashed by 200 people on the lash.

Kunt And The Gang - Paul Stephenson's Party [Live The Fleece, Bristol, 01/09/16]

Kunt And The Gang performing Paul Stephenson's Party as part of one of 2 sets at The Fleece in Bristol as part of his last ever tour

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Bup2MfSO_Q

Foggyfoggyfoggy · 13/09/2023 13:45

Dd is going bowling with us minions on the actual day and has (beyond my comprehension) persuaded her older db to let her have a party at his house! Will def be switching my phone off and he can deal with the whole thing!

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 13/09/2023 13:47

Most function rooms won't allow 18th parties

Activity followed by a meal is a good idea

Or a small house party. Make sure she knows she is only allowed to invite those she trusts not to tell others. Even insist you stay at home. Upstairs and not watching but around if there's an issue. Plenty of house parties don't go wrong but you only really hear of those that did

0021andabit · 13/09/2023 13:50

Junkyard Golf? Axe throwing? Roller skating? Basically one of those bars that have an activity, so, it’s a grown up vibe but not a boozy night (I think they restrict the times under 18s can go but they could do that then a meal)

Strugglingtodomybest · 13/09/2023 13:53

Is entirely up to you whether you let her have a party or not and I am not saying this to try and change your mind. I just wanted to say that my kids quite often have have parties while we go camping for the night and we've never had a problem. Just for a bit of balance!

I would suggest the meal out option.

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