To not want DD to be on the phone to her friend

[ArtyStripedSocks]

Dd 17 has a lovely school friend. She has a slightly complicated life with difficult parents and a difficult boyfriend. She adores my dd, and dd adores her. They chat all the time on sm, text and on the phone. Dd is quite disciplined and does have to put in boundaries and is effective in ending calls if she has school work to do, and this isn't a problem.
I'm asking out if interest really because she doesn't really mind leaving the room to chat on the phone, ; she will often be chatting away to her friend in the kitchen whilst eating her breakfast, or having a break from her school work, and I find it quite difficult having half a giggly teenage convo going on in the background; I might have the radio on, or even just be making my own breakfast, but I find her conversation very dominating. It's like tension levels start to rise for all of us, then we realise it's because there's half of another person in the room.

I feel a bit bad asking her not to have these calls in communal areas when the rest of us are around because it's sweet she is happy being around us, and also that her friendship is so nice. What do you think? AIBU?

YANBU

I would have a no phones at mealtimes rule for a start.

But I would also ask her to leave the room when having a call. That’s just basic manners. You’re not trying to stop her having the calls, just not allow them to dominate a room other people are using.

Surely she’d prefer a bit of privacy anyway?

@minipie thanks. This is pretty much what I think, but I feel a bit bad because she's mostly such a good girl, and also I don't want the friend to feel bad.
She spends so damn long on the phone to this girl that I think she saves the private conversations for when she's in her room and saves the mindless gossip and giggling for when she's near us us.

I think you’re overthinking a bit. This isn’t a big ask or a telling off, just a “would you mind taking that next door”. Most people wouldn’t have any issue with moving to another room. Is there a reason you think she might take it badly?

Framing it as wanting her to have privacy might get the message quicker. Sad it is necessary to ask, but you should.

It's really rude to be on the phone when you're in a room with someone else, so absolutely ask her to leave the room while she talks. And no phone during mealtimes because, again, that's rude.

Of you're watching a movie and she's sitting on the sofa on the phone then I think it's reasonable to tell her to go elsewhere.

No phones over mealtimes unless bfast is a kinda informal thing.
If she's wandering downstairs to get a drink on the phone I don't think she should have to stop the call or be silent because you don't want to listen to her voice.

So it depends on how must it disrupts. Surely you can largely tune her out of it's background noise

Why wouldn't you just say to her to take it somewhere else ?
She's seventeen so sometimes are a bit oblivious but seriously 🤷‍♀️

@SleepingStandingUp yes, agree with what you said.
Breakfast is v informal because everyone leaves the house at different times.
No, like you say, I def wouldn't tell her to get off the phone if she's just passing, only if she's driving me to distraction with an endless raised volume stream of half a teen convo.

I do tell her and she gets off the phone or leaves the room without a fuss when I ask her to, I was just feeling a bit mean about it so thought I'd check in with mn hivemind, and I don't feel mean anymore; it's a perfectly reasonable request.

Thanks all.