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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think normal childish behaviour is medicalised far too easily

7 replies

Weweregoodkids · 13/09/2023 09:56

I’m a parent of a child with ASD so I very much understand the need to be alert for signs and persistent, unusual compared to peers, not otherwise explicable behaviour absolutely may be a medical/SEN issue. However, I can say with absolutely no exaggeration that I’ve seen firsthand that: teenagers being stroppy, kids messing around in class, shouting out to be silly/get their classmate’s attention, bunking off lessons or a kid generally just making a bit of an arse of themself all being spoken about in a medicalised, official manner as if it suggests something is seriously wrong with the child. My own autistic DS is the most important thing to me in the world so I absolutely understand the need to be vigilant but at times I think common sense just goes out the window. I sometimes wonder if these people who rush to suggest every misdemeanour ever is automatically a serious medical issue we’re never a child themselves and/or cannot see that sometimes NT people say/do silly things without it automatically making them ND. It honestly perplexes me how fully qualified teachers and other professionals cannot see a 12 year old lad being the class clown is because he’s just trying to impress his classmates and is being a bit silly, rather than it meaning (on that alone) that he has ADHD. Similarly, a 14 year old girl being emotional and stroppy is because she’s a 14 year old girl. A pair of fifteen year olds bunking off school to try smoking, while not great, is actually pretty standard teenage behaviour and doesn’t mean they have ODD. Aibu to think that teachers and parents sometimes rush to medicalise normal childish behaviour and ND should only be assumed when the behaviour is persistent, out of line with peers and doesn’t have another logical explanation.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 13/09/2023 10:00

Teachers can't diagnose or medicalise anyone.

What is with these threads lately?

lifeturnsonadime · 13/09/2023 10:02

Two different threads in one morning on this issue?

You have no idea what is going on for other kids.

And teachers can't diagnose or medicate.

FluffyLittleTwinkster · 13/09/2023 10:07

Surley it is only when the behaviours are persistent that parents and teachers would be thinking there could be a reason such as adhd, asd, odd for behaviour.

Surley you don't know all the reasons teachers and parents would be suggesting these conditions as a possibility

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 13/09/2023 10:08

Or,
Gender non-conforming = must be trans
It's getting beyond a joke.

Jellycats4life · 13/09/2023 10:10

I said that. Why pathologise normal personality traits?

Turns out my perception of “normal” is skewed, and I am just as autistic as my children.

lifeturnsonadime · 13/09/2023 10:11

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 13/09/2023 10:08

Or,
Gender non-conforming = must be trans
It's getting beyond a joke.

That is far more worrying, along with the prevalence of autistic girls who due to sensory and communication issues are far more likely to be gender non - conforming than their NT peers.

Samee20 · 01/11/2023 06:22

@Weweregoodkids I don't think you are being unreasonable, although teachers cannot diagnose themselves, at times they do help by giving misinformation/ exaggerated information to therapists to get a child diagnosed. Some therapists are really good and they discharge the child after seeing them but at times they do diagnose them and I have read some people's stories.
It often happens at the start of primary school when kids are very young and they are referred to SALT or other medical professionals, sometimes with information which is exaggerated or even lies. When these kids are of secondary age the teachers says they don't see any symptoms of the diagnosis. When my child was at Reception there was a mad teacher targeting my child like crazy even though she couldn't give me any evidence of anything she said, and she was being sneaky by avoiding to talk to my husband because he is in the education field for a long time. I knew in my gut feeling that the teacher was lying because she was being really sneaky, will not have a formal meeting, will avoid my husband to talk regarding these things, will catch me off guard to speak for 5 mins trying to get signature of SALT form when I have already mentioned that there are no issues with speech or language.
I finally put my child in a good private school because of all the nonsense faced before, and guess what, there were not even one issue raised at the current school and infact my child is excelling. I know not all teachers are like the sneaky teacher I met, but they do exist.

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