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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hate my new job and manager

31 replies

Hatemynewjob12 · 13/09/2023 06:27

Started my new job monday and naturally the people I work with we’re asking about myself and my family. In conversation they asked me and I told them the name of school my youngest attends (a private one). He got really angry (manager) and went into a huge monologue of things like “I went to uni with some privately educated people and they were thick”, “how much money do you even have to afford this?”, “I think people who send their kids private just have money to burn”. His comments really upset me, I didn’t say anything and he kept me an extra 45 minutes after when I was supposed to leave to keep telling me all this.

my child has needs and didn’t cope in mainstream like her older 2 siblings. We decided to do this for her not for any prestigious reasons. She is absolutely thriving. I’m really upset at his comments. Other people in department were not there and they seem nice, shall I mention to them how upset I was and hopefully it should get to him somehow? I’ve decided to leave after trial probation (6 weeks).

OP posts:
Catza · 14/09/2023 08:51

Hatemynewjob12 · 13/09/2023 21:37

Thank you everyone. It was really awkward in work today. I really dislike this guy. He seems to have a chip on his shoulder. He was asking me today what job my husband does! The work we do is very low pay relatively so he must have been thinking if this all day yesterday. I really don’t like him, he seems like such an idiot.

Well, I hope you didn't entertain him with an answer and told him that you are not prepared to discuss your personal life with work colleagues.

billy1966 · 14/09/2023 09:15

Straight to HR.

That must have been scary.

Held back for 45 minutes by your angry boss to abuse you about your childs schooling who has additional needs?

Absolutely batshit.

Now questioning you about your husbands job?

Go to HR, put in a complaint.

Tell them you feel verbally attacked, and harassed by him.

Stand up for yourself.

TokyoSushi · 14/09/2023 09:27

The guy sounds nuts. If you're going to leave after 6 weeks, can you just leave now? I'd tell HR exactly why.

HollaWithDaRisinSound · 14/09/2023 09:34

When he asks you questions like 'what does your husband do?' etc - respond with an elaborately obvious fake answer - such as

  • My H is a male gigolo
  • My H is in the secret service, i really must not talk about it - shhhh
  • My H is a boxer

That is what i do when people ask me personal questions, and i have never had someone persist and say 'what does he really do?' because they feel like they have had the piss taken out of them and walk away

OR tell him to mind his own fkin business

Magenta82 · 14/09/2023 10:15

OP please take this further, he is an unhinged bully who should not be managing anyone.

ManateeFair · 14/09/2023 10:44

He sounds completely mad. Really, really weird behaviour on his part. No wonder they've been having trouble filling the position.

Have you had a chance to see how he interacts with other people on the team? Because i suspect they all dislike him too. And yes, agree with others that if there is an HR department, or another manager that you could speak to, it would be good to report it one way or another. It's very odd and totally inappropriate behaviour towards any colleague.

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