People making gofundme

[Neodymium]

I know a couple, they are older, and quite well off. Own a large hobby farm with horses ect. Own their own successful business as well. always buying stuff for their farm, like excavators ect. So not short of money.

the wife recently was diagnosed with cancer. All her (grown up) children rushed to set up a go fund me for her, saying how she always helps others and now it’s ‘our turn to help her’.

I live in a country with free healthcare. Yes there are costs like parking ect but not hundreds of thousands like the US.

my grandmother (who knows them) and is a aged pensioner said she felt ‘mean’ not donating to them.

both of the couple and all their children are widely sharing the go fund me. Like every day resharing it. It just seems in poor taste to me, when you are using a diagnosis as a way to get money you don’t really need.

I get people who make them when they have young children and suddenly can’t work ect but this is not the case here.

Send us their go fund me details, so that we can shun them without feeling guilty

Just to add. The hobby farm is not the business. So when they buy stuff for it, it’s not things they need as such for their business. Just things they want for their farm.

YANBU. I know someone who tried to crowdfund their wedding and even got into the local paper. They were total grifters and their "sob story" was a total lie. There's a certain "type" of person who attaches themselves to any adverse circumstance and sets up a crowdfunder.
Edit: Forgot the most important thing. They "needed" £20,000 (the local registry office was £200 for the big room at the time, so this was preposterous).

What's the GFM for? Raising money for treatment, or for experiences and stuff (I.e if she helps others some may want to donate to give her experiences to say thank you).

It doesn’t say what it’s for.

the ‘others’ she helps a lot are her children and grandchildren. Not the wider community.

It depends on the stage and location of the cancer. I have a family member suffering with nasopharyngeal cancer. Private doctors seem to say that proton laser treatment is effective and a good option (surgery is not an option due to location of the cancer, radio and chemo have failed). But it would cost £65k + and the NHS won't fund proton Lazer treatment for cancers of the head and neck, it's currently only for specific types of cancer

The NHS are doing nothing except make them as comfortable as possible. They're only 52 and would have all the treatment possible if it meant seeing the 5 grandkids grow up, but it's just not offered.

Have seriously thought about a similar type of fundraiser but I doubt we can raise anywhere near that much in the time we realistically have to do it (while it would be worth doing) and the family member would absolutely hate to be seen as a charity case

Currently trying to win the lottery.

Yes it's free, but we don't get the same access to treatments as Americans do (if they have the cover for it) unless we can pay at least 50% of the costs upfront (the rest within 6 months apparently!)

I also have cancer. I am being treated on the NHS and we don't need money to find other treatment that is not available on the NHS. Because I have a job (currently unable to work but still being paid for a while) we aren't eligible for any financial support or benefits, but we do have additional expenses that are adding up. I reacted very badly to my initial chemo treatment and am still feeling the effects nearly 3 months on, which means that I am very weak, I struggle to eat and need to have what I want if and when I want it rather than being able to plan and eat normal meals, and due to my husband's age and his own ill-health we can't keep up with the cleaning and have had to get in a cleaner. This is on top of the additional washing, equipment, etc. that I need, and extras like parking. I have also had to buy extra nightwear, sheets, pillows etc. It all adds up!

It would be extremely useful to have an extra pot of money to use for all those things, but there is absolutely NO WAY that I would expect other people to fund it. I had a young relative who was extremely popular and whose friends set up a go fund me page for her, and I thought that wrong at the time, but at least she didn't do it herself.

It's online begging, whatever it's for.

@DilemmaDelilah you might be eligible for attendance allowance. It's for exactly such things. Have a look into it.

No one really knows anyone’s financial circumstances though do they… they could be riddled with debt or business struggling,
some live on credit when they may appear flush from the outside. I don’t think I’d begrudge anyone trying to raise money with a cancer diagnosis and you’re not obligated to donate. I’d just be thankful it wasn’t me.

@MissBattleaxe thank you, we have looked into attendance allowance. I am not eligible as I am under state pension age. My husband is not eligible as he doesn't need constant supervision (yet).
My husband cannot claim Carer's Allowance either, despite the fact that he is my carer, as I receive no benefits. So we are stuck in a catch 22 of eating into the (not huge) savings put aside to top up my state pension when I get that in 2027.
And I still don't think it right to ask other people to give us money!

It is up to people if they donate or not, people should be free to ask and others free not to donate

Could be struggling yes. But they just purchased an expensive piece of farm equipment (like $100k expensive) which isn’t useful for their business or anything other than just for them to have fun. So I don’t think they are riddled with debt or the business not doing well.

also no indication that it is to be used to special treatment that isn’t funded.

Also a pet hate of mine!

Yes it is..

I don't get the whole thing. I come from a proud, working class family who would die of mortification before doing something like this.