Can a violent ex partner ask his new partner to supervise contact? (Family court related)

Pastarasta1 · 2023-09-12T16:52:46+00:00

Ex and me going through FC. Currently only has supervised in contact centre. Hes made a request for new partner to supervise contact.. He has domestic history via the police with me and a former partner. Significant findings made against him in family court pertaining to abuse. I don't know his new partner neither does our daughter. Is this something the court would seriously consider?...

Temporaryname158 · 12/09/2023 17:54

I would say no to this. This new partner may well be being abused potentially via coercive control. I would argue against it is it went to court.

Original poster

Pastarasta1 · 12/09/2023 17:56

Its currently being considered by cafcass and a psychologist currently.. I plan on arguing it vehemently but I'm wondering if the court would even consider it.

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Original poster

Pastarasta1 · 12/09/2023 18:51

Can the court order it if I don't agree?..

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AnneWhittle · 12/09/2023 18:55

yes the court doesn't need your agreement I don't think, but if your ex has a history of DA with 2 partners, it would seem unlikely that a new partner could adequately supervise him....what will she do if he is behaving badly? tell him to stop? more likely, his plan is that she will do the actual looking after...
and I would hope that the court would see it that way too

MrsMous · 12/09/2023 19:03

Highly unlikely as there is no way this partner is going to be objective. They are an unknown entity, so no it’s highly unlikely .

Original poster

Pastarasta1 · 12/09/2023 19:06

MrsMous · 12/09/2023 19:03

Highly unlikely as there is no way this partner is going to be objective. They are an unknown entity, so no it’s highly unlikely .

I would hope this is what cafcass think but I don't know.. the Children's Guardian loves him

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Chowtime · 12/09/2023 19:06

I doubt it. Partners/girlfriends/lovers/wifes come and go don't they. He'd have to get every one of them checked every time.

Original poster

Pastarasta1 · 12/09/2023 19:26

Chowtime · 12/09/2023 19:06

I doubt it. Partners/girlfriends/lovers/wifes come and go don't they. He'd have to get every one of them checked every time.

Hes got an extensive police history with me and also a former partner.

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DrinkFeckArseBrick · 12/09/2023 19:42

I'm not an expert and don't know if they would consider it but I'd suggest that you always include child centred arguments (how this will affect the children and what is the best thing for them) in your reasoning, and suggest a reasonable alternative if you are declining a suggestion

Original poster

Pastarasta1 · 12/09/2023 20:13

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 12/09/2023 19:42

I'm not an expert and don't know if they would consider it but I'd suggest that you always include child centred arguments (how this will affect the children and what is the best thing for them) in your reasoning, and suggest a reasonable alternative if you are declining a suggestion

Thank you, this is helpful.

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Original poster

Pastarasta1 · 13/09/2023 07:45

Bumping x

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Thelonelygiraffe · 13/09/2023 07:46

Does his current gf know about the full extent of his DA? I hope she does.

Sending you 💐

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/09/2023 07:56

I know it's not what you want to hear but I've known convicted rapists and paedophiles get unsupervised contact. I've seen women that opposed it threatened with reversal of residency if they didn't encourage this.

The family court contrary to popular myth and idiots from fathers for justice, can actually be very anti women/victim. They are a law unto themselves and Cafcass is equally as bad. Fortunately the tide is turning due to rising awareness of injustices and the media.

It will come down to who you get on the day unfortunately.

Dragonsandcats · 13/09/2023 07:58

Pastarasta1 · 12/09/2023 19:06

I would hope this is what cafcass think but I don't know.. the Children's Guardian loves him

Show quote history

Is the children’s guardian not aware of his police history? What is wrong with these people?

Redlarge · 13/09/2023 07:59

He can ask but they will probably say no.

Redlarge · 13/09/2023 08:05

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/09/2023 07:56

I know it's not what you want to hear but I've known convicted rapists and paedophiles get unsupervised contact. I've seen women that opposed it threatened with reversal of residency if they didn't encourage this.

The family court contrary to popular myth and idiots from fathers for justice, can actually be very anti women/victim. They are a law unto themselves and Cafcass is equally as bad. Fortunately the tide is turning due to rising awareness of injustices and the media.

It will come down to who you get on the day unfortunately.

I agree with everything you have said. Ive been put thru the mill with them and an abuser. I had reems of evidence and supporting letters from police, school, doctors, social services and DV worker. Yet it was me that was interriogated for child alienation and told that a child not seeing their father is more damaging than any physical or mental abuse. Its a joke.
Its a mans world family court and completely traumatising.
Stick to your guns and try and not get emotional OP. I failed at this and the dad pointed out my crying was evidence of the unhinged woman he was having to deal with... joke.
I didnt follow the court order in the end and have to go back... 2 years its gone on for. But i knew i had to keep my kids safe and i have the support of other services if not the court. Ill just deal with the repercussions. Both kids are getting counselling and ive made sure lots of stuff is in place to support us. Make sure you do too.
Ive written to my MP about some of the disgusting things that happened in court and they have written to the court... i dont know the outcome.

Wishitsnows · 13/09/2023 08:06

All common sense, decency and safety of the child would say that this should not happen. Hopefully you get a magistrate on the day that can see this and supervised access will continue.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 13/09/2023 08:13

The court will have to consider the proposal. As it will have to consider your objections. And yes it has the power to order it. That is not to say that it will.

What the Court decides will be governed by considering the welfare checklist as set out in the Children Act.

The fact that significant findings have been made against your ex should mean that the Court will be acutely alert to issues of coercion and abuse in the new relationship (this has to be viewed in the context of any findings that may have been found against you). None of this rules her out as a supervisor, but would mean that all your concerns have to be given a lot of weight and considered seriously.

Are you the poster who was worried about the Court forcing you to do the handovers with your ex and said you just couldn’t do that? If so, then the Court will have very few options and will give due consideration to the proposal of the new partner supervising. Contact very, very rarely stays in a contact centre indefinitely.

You mention a psychologist is involved. They need to be asked questions about this issue and the safety of it. If you are the poster I recall it seems as though your solicitor does really have a handle on it all. Hope all goes well.

Original poster

Pastarasta1 · 13/09/2023 14:13

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 13/09/2023 08:13

The court will have to consider the proposal. As it will have to consider your objections. And yes it has the power to order it. That is not to say that it will.

What the Court decides will be governed by considering the welfare checklist as set out in the Children Act.

The fact that significant findings have been made against your ex should mean that the Court will be acutely alert to issues of coercion and abuse in the new relationship (this has to be viewed in the context of any findings that may have been found against you). None of this rules her out as a supervisor, but would mean that all your concerns have to be given a lot of weight and considered seriously.

Are you the poster who was worried about the Court forcing you to do the handovers with your ex and said you just couldn’t do that? If so, then the Court will have very few options and will give due consideration to the proposal of the new partner supervising. Contact very, very rarely stays in a contact centre indefinitely.

You mention a psychologist is involved. They need to be asked questions about this issue and the safety of it. If you are the poster I recall it seems as though your solicitor does really have a handle on it all. Hope all goes well.

Yes that's me. I will be making some other proposals including other family members.

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TickingKey46 · 27/10/2023 20:52

Did I read you had a cafcass guardian? So a guardian not a cafcass officer. If so I think this proves the seriousness of the situation.
I would think employing a childminder or a private supervisor would be better. They are clearly independent.