For not wanting husband to take voluntary redundancy

[DGGR]

My husband hates his job, he loves the actual work (IT/marketing) but hates the sector he's in and managing daily gripes which constantly crop up.
He's been wanting to leave for a long time but has an amazing package with incredible holiday and decent pension.. That when he's interviewed for other jobs they haven't come close to competing with.
They're offering voluntary redundancy in his work and he'd get just under a years salary (Pre tax). He's already tried some side projects and had a bit of side work but they haven't really taken off. He'd like to use the redundancy to give him chance to put the work into his side projects..
We have a 10m and 5 year old, and have really struggled financially whilst I've been on maternity leave. And I've just managed to arrange a decent term time contract with my work. But I don't earn enough to cover the house costs and I worry we're over stretched as it is without a drop in his pay.
I feel like I shouldn't be so pessimistic but I just have a bad feeling about it.
I don't want to crush his spirit though and make him feel trapped or resentful at our life.
He's been messaging me today about to and I'm psyching myself up about what to say to him. Ultimately its his decision and I don't want him to be unhappy. But I don't think he is appreciating how hard work self employment actually is.

WWYD?

Totally get your concerns but is there a chance there will be more redundancies on a worse package?

This. VS is never the end and is often followed by compulsory redundancies and the package is never as good.

Yeah, I agree with others - if he's been offered VR his role as it is won't exist anymore anyway. He may well get made redundant anyway, or he'll stay but others will be made redundant around him and his working environment will get even worse.

A years salary to either make self-employment work or find a better role? I'd grab that with both hands, or support my partner if they had the same offer.

Would he consider contracting? I took VR over 20 years ago (was about a years take home pay) and used this as a buffer to enter the world of contracting. Never looked back and have been contracting ever since. He could still work on his side projects if he has gaps in his contracting engagements.

This is a worry. He hates playing office politics and every job he's had has frustrated him in some way because of this. And I don't necessarily think being self employed is any better because the you have to deal with all niggles yourself.

Tell him to take it. If they are offering VR there's a very good chance compulsory redundancy may be coming and the terms will be a lot less generous you can bet.

I speak from experience having been a consultant who (i) used to organise VR schemes and (ii) said YES to VR the second it was offered to me.

It does seem like a good opportunity. But I understand your concerns- you are basically worried that the other issues that may crop up if self employed or in another role, will cause similar if not more stress to what he has just now, especially as he won’t have the flexibility he has atm.
I am quite averse to change, so I’d be a bit like you. But, he has to be happy and you need to make sure tou sound very supportive when describing any concerns.

Yeah that's another thing he said he's worried about is being left behind if the few people he likes working with leave.

your DH is unhappy where he is, this can lead to burn out or mental health problems; you wanting stability is not more important than his happiness being honest it should be less imprtant.
Also there would be no voluntary redundancies if business was in good shape, you are kind of head in sand here, if he doesn't take it, the most likely scenario is that there will be compulsory redunancies with a less good package in a few months not that it will carry on as now ( i don't think that's terribly realsitic)
if he finds office politics difficult self employment maybe better for him. Sure self employment has different problems but he might tackle those better and there is no one to defer to
I have been self employed for years... it requires grerater financially savvy to balance good and bad months and the discipline to never ever under any circumstances borrow money from the savings account you must set up to pay end of year Tax and national insurance ( approx 30% of all profit) before he takes his own money.

Thanks for the feedback. I thought my husband had found this thread and posted 😂
I think I am looking at it as a household providing stability for our children so yes I guess I've enmeshed myself with him. We share our incomes and pay as one unit so I do see us as one in a way.
Not that it's super relevant but I've already been though the motions of looking into going back full time and even taking on directorship roles in my work so that he could leave his job. But at the time his work wouldn't let him reduce his hours and he didn't fancy taking on the childcare role.
I do need to think of him though, and definitely don't want him to have regrets... YOLO and all that.
That was my reason for posting though... For advice to best support him, because I love him and want him to be happy, but am anxious about change.
I appreciate your post though.

I think its totally up to him, and as long as he can manage and fund what needs doing then there's no harm in trying. Work only ever pay us enough to kill our dreams, if I was offered VR now I would 100% take it as I am simmering in the background with my own business which I know I could make a hit of it, I'm just not willing to take the risk ( but I 100% would with a year's salary handed to me).

How nice for you. I've known people who never worked at the same level ever again

I work reasonably high up and I’ve seen far more success stories after VR than failures.

Like most things in life, you get out what you put in - sit on your hands and you’ll end up with a crap job, but go all-out on LinkedIn etc and you’ll likely bag something decent.
Employers love people who have been made voluntarily redundant as a rule.

It is tough to expect him to spend his life doing something he hates when there is another option. I helped my OH to jump off the wheel of the job that was making him so unhappy. It had enormous repercussions for our family financially but I could not bear to see him wasting his one life like that.

I agree with others, let him try self-employment for six months and if it doesn't show any sign of working out he can look for another job. Life is too short to stay in a job you hate, and he should be able to get another job. I took voluntary redundancy five years ago - best thing I ever did.

And I've never heard of anyone who regretted it, whether they worked at the same level again or not.

You should never quit to set up a business, just set it up on the side till it starts taking off.

So he might take the cash, but he should get a job

It's natural to be hesitant about finances and stability given you have two small children but if DH is miserable in his job then surely it will have a knock-on effect on your family?

If I was in his position and I was offered a year's pre-tax salary payout I'd bite my employer's hand off.

Compromise and give him 6 months to make it work - otherwise he'll always question 'what if' and resentment will build. You say his side projects haven't really taken off, but who's to say they won't if he has the time, energy and drive to focus on them? If in 6 months nothing's come to fruition then he still has a further 6 months to secure employment before the money runs out.

Personally, taking voluntary redundancy was the best thing I ever did. The payout enabled me to do a Master's degree and live comfortably for a year while I completed it. This led to work I love in my newly qualified field and I've been immeasurably happier ever since.

In the short term, he could look after your younger child 2-3 days a week, and concentrate on his projects the other days while eldest at school, so saving on childcare for a bit?

You've basically got a year buffer zone to see if he can make it can work or find another job.

If he’s on the voluntary list, he’s already earmarked for redundancy. Far better he takes the enhanced package and gets out before all his colleagues are also looking for jobs.

I'd be suggesting he needs to stay where he is whilst your DC are so small and once you get is at school and you can go back full time that is the time for him to see if he can either get another job or be self employed. With young children he needs to take the responsible option.