People who don't clap when you win. AIBU to think it's a thing?

[gladere]

In my old friendship group (long since ditched) there was a culture of being all over me when j was in a 'bad' situation- but when I was thriving - e.g. new relationship- they were less supportive e.g
"I hope no-one gets hurt"

Why do people try and clip each other's wings ?

Different reasons in different situations

1 - some people don't like others do better
2 - some enjoy misery of others
3 - some people roll in drama so much that anything good bwcomes bad anyway so it's hard to cheer when you are on roll number 705 of "this will end badly, won't it"
4 - some have their own issues and apent time helping when needed so step back to take rest

I think it’s actually human nature, and the people who still exhibit those traits in adulthood are the ones who struggle with insecurity. If you watch very small children in social situations, they tend to react jealously if someone else gets something and they don’t, or if someone else is applauded for an achievement and they aren’t. Being able to celebrate someone else’s good fortune or achievements is, I think, a learned skill.

I thought this would be about literally not clapping when you win ... jazz hands ..... that's fallen out of fashion it seems.

I guess these ex friends were more like frenemies. Good job you have moved on.

People in some friendship groups are defined by certain characteristics and some people struggle when someone tries to change this dynamic ie when the overweight one loses weight, when the poor one has more money, when the single one becomes loved up etc.

because they're not real friends and they are miserable inside.

Happy people are quite chilled, unhappy people are bitter.

Thank you - you all make really good points.
@StressBless - so true what you say about different friendship groups - different things are important to them. I was part of a friendship group where the people were a bit precious and prissy, lacked confidence and immature for their age - all unquestionably loved at home at 25/26 - but don't get me wrong - this alone didn't make them immature- it's things they said and how they behaved in social situations etc

So, in other words they didn't like someone moving out and becoming more mature, hated it when the fat one of the group lost weight etc

I know I'm sometimes guilty of this. It's because I'm a worrier. Of course I'm thrilled for you if things are going well, but what if....

Groups being "defined by certain characteristics" is so true and something I've thought a lot about lately

I dumped my ex for lots of reasons. His personal relish and enjoyment of a particularly hard time in my life was the main reason. He was addicted to the misery going on in my life, and others around him. He seemed to feed upon adversity like a vulture. Our last conversation involved him gloating over the fact someone had attempted to rip me off, and how terrible my life was in general. I told him it was better without him in it. Upon reflection, I realise he picked me out as a special subject who had been disabled by an accident, had a family bereavement, had children with SEN, had many operations and many legal battles in my business. He never seemed happy when I recovered, and was all over anything going wrong. He looked for the negative side to each and every situation in his life. I believe people like that are best avoided, and you need to reconsider your friendship group. I have dumped friends, acquaintances and a boyfriend over this sort of approach as it damages your mental health in the long run. My gran used to say don't give people rope to hang you with...and she was right. Don't tell anyone anything about yourself that could be used against you.

In friendship groups people often have roles - the married one, the single one, the childless one, the fat one etc and when someone steps out of their role it changes the whole dynamic.