To think GP's don't give a shit about menopause

[GentrifiedLDN]

I never realised how hard menopause would hit. For those who haven't been hit this time of their life yet, it fucking sucks ladies - No one and i mean NO ONE tells you how fucking awful this is and how no one gives a shit

I have visited the GP four times now to try and get help, and all they want to do is medicate each individual symptom without addressing the hormone imbalance.

GP seem more concerned about the potential (imo small) risks of HRT than the fact there is a suicidal woman sat in front of them and will fuck you off out the door with a pamphlet about local talking services that take three years to get an appointment at

Anxiety is absolutely awful, it is so bad I have even considered ending it all, as I can NOT live like this much longer

It took my sister four years to get given HRT and feel better.

I am going to have to go private. I can't take this anymore.

I took the pill for maybe 6 months, ran, swam and had a healthy diet and still had awful vaginal and bladder symptoms.
It's the luck of the bloody draw so don't be so sanctimonious.

@Pollyputhekettleon Thank you, I'll be 40 in a few months. I have considered there may be thyroid issues (I have several symptoms) but haven't been able to get a GP appointment.
I think you're right that I should start looking at options now although I was told by the GP I can't have mirena as I'm allergic to the pill, implant etc.

@herewegoroundthebastardbush Totally agree about the emotions feeling like someone else's. I was pretty emotionless so have gone from zero to a huge overload of emotions in one go and it's exhausting. I'm permanently on the verge of tears or a rage.
I also have large fibroids so don't know what that will bring in the future. I was supposed to have them removed but seem to have been forgotten about!

My sister was having the most monstrously heavy periods, turned out to be fibroids, so if that's also an issue for you might be worth revisiting the fibroids. Just a thought!

Take care of yourself - I love being a woman, would hate to be a man, but sometimes it's very very shit!! X

Get the NICE guidelines and nhs guidelines for HRT, print them off, take them to the GP and tell them you want HRT and if they are not going to help you you want to be referred to someone who can, do not leave until you have it. Make it clear that the guidelines show that this is something that should be offered to you.

If you were a fucking man who wanted to play dress up as a fucking woman then they would give them all the fucking hormones they fucking demanded - the nhs fucking hates women.

Since having my kids I have been utterly at the mercy of my cycle in a way I never was before (increasingly black mood until finally suicidal the day before a period, then lifted mood like a light going on the day I come on) - I am so scared of the emotional upheaval of menopause, I'm worried it will affect me so badly and it's rough enough as it is spending 2 weeks of every month affected, but at least it's on a schedule and I know when I'm suicidally depressed and raging it's because I'm due on, what will it be like when my hormones/cycle are all over the place?

I'm 54 and not fully menopausal yet but def peri as I have drifted into it my hormonal problems have all eased. No more full week of migraines, my awful anxiety has all but gone, the terrible suicidal depression before my period has disappeared, no more painful breasts for 2 weeks. It's been such a relief.
I've had an adult lifetime of horrible hormonal problems prob due to my PCOS. I think some of us suffer at different times with our hormones and you might find menopause will bring you some relief so don't be scared of it.

Ever mis-read anything?! Picky!
Even at 45 she would have seen the changes I am talking about!

Picky? For pointing out facts? And a discrepancy of at least 20 years? I hope your job doesn’t require accuracy.

I’m not going through the menopause but I agree with this. My employer offers private health care which includes menopause support. Maybe this is something you could explore?

@ThunderCloudsinSumer testosterone replacement is only licensed for women for the treatment of low libido on the nhs though it does give additional benefits in terms of muscle mass etc.

All my other treatments were specifically to treat symptoms ie the oestrogen internal cream is for vaginal dryness/ atrophy.

@GentrifiedLDN There is no one single treatment for all of the menopause, it’s a collection of symptoms which are variable for fluctuations in hormonal levels. A good doctor will help you find the best possible combination for you. And that may well change over time. Again I’ll recommend the Louise Newson clinic if you can afford it and can’t get adequate support on the nhs.

In the past three years, I've been registered to two different GP practices (changed GP after a house move) and neither of them has been in the least bit effective or supportive for me as I entered perimenopause. I've been at my wit's end with symptoms including all the usual sweats, brain fog, anxiety (which ended up as low-level psychosis at one point when I tried on numerous occasions to get a face-to-face appointment with a GP and was refused) weight gain, low mood etc and have lost count of the number of appointments I've had to try and find a way through it. Different types of HRT did nothing for me except cause constant and excruciating migraines.

My current GP is rated the 17th worst in England so I have zero hope of any support, advice or guidance from them whatsoever. I'm happy for any woman who can find support from their GP because I've been utterly failed by mine. I've written to my MP and made complaint after complaint to each practice and nothing was resolved. They've also missed phone calls entirely (when I couldn't get a face-to-face appointment) and regularly take over twice the guideline 48hrs to provide phone consultations, ballsed up prescriptions and on every single occasion I've sat in front of a GP, they've been dismissive, disinterested and patronising.

I ended up paying to see a private GP on several occasions, which gave some answers and reassurance - at no small cost. I've given up with my GP now and do everything I can to handle my own health and find my own way through menopause.

So, yes, OP, in my own experience, my GPs didn't give one shiny shit about menopause and I have no belief that they ever will. My confidence in GP services are at rock bottom in this respect.

I had a hysterectomy then two bouts of "depression" and prescriptions for antidepressants, three UTIs within four months and chronic hot flushes and my GP wanted to prescribe me folic fucking acid.

Asked the receptionist if there was a menopause clinic and she looked at me as if I had two heads.

There is the odd GP out there who is excellent, clued up, knows the guidelines and applies them. But that is like 1 in 50. The rest are not educated about menopause whatsoever, and as a woman going through it all, the battle with the GP is horrendous.

I don't think the NHS is good for anything that's not life threatening.

I had excruciating foot pain that was really affecting my quality if life and ability to work. Months I waited to be seen only to be given some exercises to do at home. A private physio sorted me out within weeks.

I'm glad they're there and they do seem to leap I to action for the big life threatening stuff, but pretty rubbish for everything else, including menopause.

I also very much disagree with the posters saying that it should be women who are doing the researching and deciding what HRT they want, and just asking the GP to prescribe. The job of a GP is to listen to symptoms, make the diagnosis and decide which medication is most appropriate, in conjunction with the patient. But if you have a suspected ear infection you go to the GP and say so, he/she examines you, makes the diagnosis, recommends the most appropriate antibiotic. It's outrageous that women are expected to do 75% of the research.

As for the poster whose mother's cancer diagnosis was missed - this is not because of women asking for HRT. It might be a normal part of life for many women, for others (like me and the OP), it causes serious anxiety, mood changes, vaginal atrophy etc etc etc.

@GentrifiedLDN I totally understand the anxiety, dread, bleak feeling. Until you can get your GP to listen I would suggest a few things. Meditation - not for everyone, but apps like Headspace and Medito talk you through focussing on your breathing and body rather than fears and worries. There are lots and lots of support groups on sites like Facebook, and the menopause forum on here is great. Taking a special menopause vitamin might help as might high strength Vitamin D. There are free online CBT packages which can help you deal with intrusive thoughts. Menopause support groups meet in person across the UK and although it can be daunting walking in at first, everyone there is attending for hte same reason and it can be so helpful to realise you're not alone in this.

I don't think GPs give a shit about anything in my experience

Totally agree. Took me 4 different GP's at my practice & even then would not prescribe a body identical HRT (least risk of breast cancer & easier to tolerate than synthetic ones & completely available on the nhs) with no valid reason for why (basically bcos it's more expensive than synthetic HRT). From a fellow perimenopausal GP doctor who you'd think would care. But more concerned about managing their costs & the bottom line than patient care iMO. And complicit still in outdated paternalistic healthcare which is fundamentally male centric.

The first

I think at the moment, resources are such that GPs don't give a shit about anything that isn't imminently life threatening.