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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do all teachers do this

52 replies

Godzgifts · 11/09/2023 19:02

At the start of each year some kids get chosen to be class ambassadors. This year my son was upset as it seems to be the same kids in the same roles as last year. Aibu to think they should always choose different children rather than the same kids? Aibu to call the teacher about this!?

OP posts:
HappiDaze · 11/09/2023 22:10

Most kids couldn't give a crap if they're chosen to be a class ambassador or not

Or they'll forget within 5 mins that they aren't chosen or at least by the next day.

Your DS just happens to be a bit sensitive and wants what others have so is moaning about it and now you're unnecessarily concerned

He just has to get over it and you really shouldn't waste your time getting involved and over invested in this school nonsense

Let him express his frustration, listen, don't give an opinion and move on

HappiDaze · 11/09/2023 22:12

And for the love of god don't waste the teachers time with a bloody email about it either they have enough shit to deal that's of actual importance

HappiDaze · 11/09/2023 22:13

Be glad it's not your child who is always the chosen one because they soon become disliked and often uninvited to parties by pissed off parents making their stand

EnidSpyton · 11/09/2023 22:15

As a teacher currently trying to keep my head above water at the beginning of the school year, please don't call the teacher about this. There is nothing more irritating than parents complaining about perceived injustice when they have no understanding of the wider context of what is going on in the school, the classroom, and in the homes of the children concerned. The time involved in dealing with a petty email like this is time taken away from preparing lessons and marking work to benefit the whole class.

Your son is going to have a lifetime of not being picked for a whole host of reasons - we all go through this in time. We don't get the university place we want because we didn't go to the right school. We don't get the job we wanted because the head honcho's niece got it instead. Life isn't fair. And sometimes other people genuinely deserve opportunities more than us - and we have no idea, because we don't know their circumstances. These are all good life lessons to learn. Focus on teaching your son these, and the way to deal with them, rather than bothering the teacher at the busiest time of the professional year.

SallyLovesCheese · 11/09/2023 22:17

In my experience as a teacher the class council etc. are pupils who put themselves forward and are then voted on by the class. I wouldn't necessarily know or remember which children held the role in previous years, especially if there are several different roles (school council, eco Council, sports reps etc.) so it may be that the same children are chosen again.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it just hasn't happened deliberately to my knowledge during my 15 years in primary teaching.

Mble · 11/09/2023 22:21

I always did it by having class vote(this has always been the system in all schools I have worked in) . Only a small number volunteer. It was something that I barely thought about when I was a form tutor. The idea that it is rigged for school governor or PTA rep children is hilarious. Most teachers only have a hazy knowledge of who the governors are, if they even know who they are at all. I have never known which parents were on the school PTA either. I would probably know the class rep if I was a primary teacher but would have no reason to favour their child.

ell87 · 11/09/2023 22:22

SallyLovesCheese · 11/09/2023 22:17

In my experience as a teacher the class council etc. are pupils who put themselves forward and are then voted on by the class. I wouldn't necessarily know or remember which children held the role in previous years, especially if there are several different roles (school council, eco Council, sports reps etc.) so it may be that the same children are chosen again.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it just hasn't happened deliberately to my knowledge during my 15 years in primary teaching.

Is that the loudest children that are seen first or do you double check with the quieter children before making your final decisions?
Sometimes quiet children will backdown if the louder children start pushing their way to the front so to speak.
Sometimes it's also a good idea to encourage the quieter children because often their issue is that they don't feel good enough.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 11/09/2023 22:26

lilyboleyn · 11/09/2023 21:01

I’ve always let kids come to the front to explain to the others why they should pick them. Discounted last year’s representatives. Taken in anonymous voting from the kids, counted them up. If it’s close between a super popular kid (who gets everything) and someone kind and lovely who’d do a good job but is less popular, I’ve been known to hash my counting a little bit… but not enough to be obvious.

Ensuring that only the socially confident children get to even be considered!! Awful. Outdated nonsense, schools don't do this kind of thing anymore where I work. Huge thought is given to multiple abilities and personality attributes before tasking anyone with a privilege.

Splat92 · 11/09/2023 22:27

It's purely a voting system at our school. Two of my kids got voted in year after year and one never did.

ell87 · 11/09/2023 22:28

EnidSpyton · 11/09/2023 22:15

As a teacher currently trying to keep my head above water at the beginning of the school year, please don't call the teacher about this. There is nothing more irritating than parents complaining about perceived injustice when they have no understanding of the wider context of what is going on in the school, the classroom, and in the homes of the children concerned. The time involved in dealing with a petty email like this is time taken away from preparing lessons and marking work to benefit the whole class.

Your son is going to have a lifetime of not being picked for a whole host of reasons - we all go through this in time. We don't get the university place we want because we didn't go to the right school. We don't get the job we wanted because the head honcho's niece got it instead. Life isn't fair. And sometimes other people genuinely deserve opportunities more than us - and we have no idea, because we don't know their circumstances. These are all good life lessons to learn. Focus on teaching your son these, and the way to deal with them, rather than bothering the teacher at the busiest time of the professional year.

I don't think many parents would bother to email a teacher about much these days.
Although My youngest daughters teacher is amazing. She always emails me to keep me updated on things as my daughter has a speech disorder. She's very old school and dedicated. Cares about the tiniest things. She's made a huge difference in the lives of many children and was born to do the job.
Not sure where my daughter (and many others) would be academically, if they'd been unfortunate enough to get a teacher who didn't care as much as she does.

RandomButtons · 11/09/2023 22:29

Kids put themselves forwards, kids vote, but it’s always the same kids every year - the ones with more confidence generally.

ell87 · 11/09/2023 22:31

lilyboleyn · 11/09/2023 21:01

I’ve always let kids come to the front to explain to the others why they should pick them. Discounted last year’s representatives. Taken in anonymous voting from the kids, counted them up. If it’s close between a super popular kid (who gets everything) and someone kind and lovely who’d do a good job but is less popular, I’ve been known to hash my counting a little bit… but not enough to be obvious.

Terrible idea sorry.
A lot of quieter kids will never put themselves forward if it involves having to go to the front of the class and speak.
They might one day have that confidence if they're given opportunities to gradually build their confidence though.

YellowDots · 11/09/2023 22:34

I’ve always let kids come to the front to explain to the others why they should pick them. Discounted last year’s representatives.

How do you fit that in with British Values though?

Lizzypet · 11/09/2023 22:34

ell87 · 11/09/2023 22:22

Is that the loudest children that are seen first or do you double check with the quieter children before making your final decisions?
Sometimes quiet children will backdown if the louder children start pushing their way to the front so to speak.
Sometimes it's also a good idea to encourage the quieter children because often their issue is that they don't feel good enough.

Show quote history

This!

Lizzypet · 11/09/2023 22:36

ell87 · 11/09/2023 22:31

Terrible idea sorry.
A lot of quieter kids will never put themselves forward if it involves having to go to the front of the class and speak.
They might one day have that confidence if they're given opportunities to gradually build their confidence though.

Show quote history

Exactly! My son at age 7 is already just accepting that certain other children are 'better' than him, because of this type of decision making.

YellowDots · 11/09/2023 22:37

Guidance

"ensure all pupils within the school have a voice that is listened to, and demonstrate how democracy works by actively promoting democratic processes such as a school council whose members are voted for by the pupils"

Scienceadvisory · 11/09/2023 22:42

JoyceBarry · 11/09/2023 21:57

It's either because if you choose the capable child then it's a job you don't have to think about.

You know that every other Tuesday playtime Isabel will remember to go to the meeting and she will remember to ask about something that someone in the class wants to know and then you don't have to remember any of it.

Or it's because there was a vote and they won. Democracy is in the curriculum so you can't say 'don't vote for Isabel because she was rep last year and that's not fair' because that's not how democracy works.

Well actually it is how quite a few democracies work. Just look at the USA, a person can only be President for two terms. People can't then vote for that person for a third term.

JoyceBarry · 11/09/2023 22:46

Well actually it is how quite a few democracies work. Just look at the USA, a person can only be President for two terms. People can't then vote for that person for a third term.

But it's British Values that have to be taught. Democracy being one of them.

The American voting system isn't in the British Primary Curriculum.

VintageBlossomHill · 11/09/2023 22:55

My daughter (10) is in a school where there are a number of favourite families with lots of money to sponsor the school for different events. Last year DD remarked that there was no point in raising her hand to volunteer for anything as she wouldn’t be chosen as a girl from one of these families is picked for everything. Dd was asked to prepare a presentation for tomorrow about why they should be class prefect. DD is usually very excited about this type of activity but she hasn’t mentioned or prepared anything and I haven’t bothered reminding her as I could put money on who'll be chosen. This sickens me.

BCSurvivor · 11/09/2023 22:59

About 15 years ago I was working as teaching assistant in a primary school.
It was the first year that the school was voting on representatives from each year for the school council.
Another TA and myself counted the votes for year 6 - it was to be one girl and one boy, and there were two clear vote winners.
However, the next day the winners were announced by the class teachers and it was two completely different names!
I was completely disillusioned, as the year 6 ''candidates'' had been given a week to prepare and give speeches in a special assembly, were very excited and took it very seriously.
Yet it seemed that the ''winners'' had already been decided in advance.

Hawkins0009 · 11/09/2023 23:01

Callyem · 11/09/2023 19:05

It would generally be decided democratically through a class election, but I would probably suggest that the previous year's representative stood aside.

I would rather the teacher choose who they know is best suited for the role rather than it being a popularity contest

Teapleasebobb · 11/09/2023 23:02

ThunderCloudsinSumer · 11/09/2023 19:52

Ours usually choose teachers or governers children

Same. Even the children know who will get chosen for awards etc as it's always the same ones, it's so brazen though!

Goldenbear · 11/09/2023 23:04

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 11/09/2023 21:21

Bull. In my experience, the class vote for the children who have put themselves forward for the position and who they think will be best at the job.

Show quote history

IME it is a popularity contest rather than a democratic election. However, my DC are not Junior school age anymore and at 16 and 12 aren't the kind of children that would find these posts appealing in an way as anyone who is a prefect at secondary school tends to be the teachers' disciples and studying maths at 7 am every day, not a description either of mine would fit.

SallyLovesCheese · 12/09/2023 00:31

ell87 · 11/09/2023 22:22

Is that the loudest children that are seen first or do you double check with the quieter children before making your final decisions?
Sometimes quiet children will backdown if the louder children start pushing their way to the front so to speak.
Sometimes it's also a good idea to encourage the quieter children because often their issue is that they don't feel good enough.

Show quote history

I'm not sure what you mean?

I don't make any decisions. I go round and ask each child in turn if they would like to be considered for x role and the ones that do go into the children's vote. I don't make any "final decision".

Owl55 · 12/09/2023 00:36

Some teachers do have favourite children , the same children who represent the school on different occasions, the same children who get the plum parts in school assemblies or school plays , the same children who are ambassadors or prefects and they’ll never admit it!