AIBU for not wanting to talk to my team lead?

[Pianoplayer190]

Long story short. A while ago my manager (team lead) and I got on really well. However, after some time cracks began to show. I had an observation from upper management stating that my work was amazing and my manager was copied in and never once said well done. Just pretended they were never ccd into the email. Later on that week I got an email stating “hi I was observing you today and you were 1 minute late to the lesson and you got some very well deserved praise from upper management earlier in the week but being 1 minute late to lesson is not negotioable and you need to ensure you’re on time as anyone could be watching” never been late on my life. Printer was jammed.

I planned to leave shortly after. The head teacher calls me in the office to ask why and that I should reconsider my thoughts on that. (Could be bc they can’t recruit) anyway, before I even told my manager what happened, she said no one praised her lately and she was fed up. As soon as I told het the content of the conversation with the head her face visibly dropped. I had the sense she was fuming.

We have a co worker. Sally. Who for a better want of a word, is useless. One day sally took time off sick because of an illness. This illness lasted for a while. My manager always messaged me saying how much she hates sally and that sally should just leave and she’s had numerous meetings abouy her lack of professionalism with HR to no fruition. Anyway, when sally falls I’ll this one day, my manager shows me the text she sent sally basically saying “sally omg I’m so sorry you’re I’ll. I LOVE YOU and hope you feel way better soon” but in the next breath says she hates sally ans wants rid of her?

I went for a meal with just sally, and sally effectively said our manager opens up to her abouy all emotional issues, meets up with her occasionally and also tells her all about the affair she had one year.

my manager got me a gift last month with a huge Moonpig card saying have a great holiday and what not. I actually ended up just leaving it at work because I can’t trust them.

As I’ve become so confused by my manager Aibu for ignoring them?

I think I follow what's generally going on but I'm not sure what you're asking. Are you unreasonable to not acknowledge a gift? Yeah, probably. A simple thanks by text is basic manners, and despite your boss' clear lack of professionalism, you don't have to act in the same way.

If you're asking whether you'd be unreasonable to ignore your boss completely from now on, then also yes, but obviously it's more complicated than that. You can't ignore her as you will presumably have meetings, appraisals etc. However, you can (and probably should) be cautious around her, because:

• You know that she is willing to criticise Sally to you, so she will probably criticise you to others
• You know that the things she says in writing are different from the things she says verbally
• You know that she will pick you up on minor faults (such as lateness) even in amongst other successes

But it sounds like you are leaving? If so, grit your teeth and protect your reference!