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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what’s the worse date you have been on?

85 replies

Blueicepop · 10/09/2023 22:42

Any one willing to share their worse dating experiences? I have been on a date this weekend and it wasn’t great. He just spoke about himself, didn’t ask me any questions and for some reason kept mentioning his ex.

I just like giving up with OLD!

OP posts:
orangegato · 11/09/2023 11:10

runrabbit77 · 11/09/2023 10:54

I had my fair share of dates who always listed themselves as 5'10 but were a good four inches shorter than me on arrival!

He said 5’8 but I’m 5’0 and he was level with me in flat shoes shudder

Thebigblueballoon · 11/09/2023 11:12

Several years ago I went on a date with a nice, but rather boring bloke. I stuck it out for a few weeks, but it was fairly unremarkable and I knew it had run its course. I was young and found it hard to be assertive, so I arranged to meet him in a quiet bar to end things politely.
I’ve no idea if his Spidey senses were tingling that day, but when I arrived he was already absolutely trashed, and he continued to drink more after I delivered the terrible news.
After about an hour he was totally legless. I didn’t know his address, so I agreed that he could sleep on my sofa, took him home, sorted his bed out, when he told me he needed the loo.
Guided him to the toilet and left him to it, when I heard an almighty crash. Turned out he’d lost his balance and put his head through my bathroom window. It’s a miracle he wasn’t hurt, apart from a nasty gash.

BigPussyEnergy · 11/09/2023 11:20

I went on a date with a guy who spent almost the entire time telling me a long winded story about a previous date who had stalked him, both on foot and in her car. He made it quite funny, but even so, half an hour of him telling me how obsessed someone else was by him was just a a bit much.

He was nice enough though, and I would have been open to another date but then he said he’d had a great time and could see a future with me Confused and how he wished he’d kissed me.

I said something along the lines of “steady on old chap, I had a nice time and would enjoy talking to you a bit more too” and he had an absolute hissy fit saying i obviously didn’t feel the same as him (after ONE date!) and that he wasn’t going to waste his time on someone who clearly didn’t fancy him.

Lucky escape.

MCOut · 11/09/2023 11:22

Pinkflamingopants · 11/09/2023 06:38

@MCOut did you mean to quote that post and say he sounds awful?! Harsh!

Yes, the person that she went on a date with does sound awful. You don’t sneak out on someone in the middle of a date. People have feelings and I can imagine pp gelt horrible when he did that

BigPussyEnergy · 11/09/2023 11:24

First date with another guy, he told me how a previous date had gone to the loo and not returned (was it you - the PP who escaped out of the window?!)

I asked what had prompted it and he apparently had no idea, but then proceeded to tell me lots of very intimate and dark things from his past. Everything he told me I kept trying to guess if that was what he’d been talking about when she did a runner Grin He’s actually lovely and we’re still friends, but I can totally see how he would have freaked out another date with his stories!

rataverse · 11/09/2023 11:47

I don't have any stories because I haven't dated for decades, but a friend my age (mid sixties) hasn't given up and keeps me entertained with her reports from the world of mature OLD.

The one that really stuck in my mind was an elderly bloke who spent the entire date talking about his astoundingly boring hobby. Afterwards, as they walked to the car park, he got out his phone and insisted on showing her photographs. He collected porcelain plates, all depicting the insignia of different military regiments, and he expected her to stand there, in the cold wind, admiring each plate in turn while he explained the symbolism of the different designs.

She did the only sensible thing she could do under the circumstances, dragged out her own phone, and insisted he admire the photos of her grandchildren, and her daughters dog (which she claimed was her own ickle wickle doggie darling).

He didn't even try to pretend to be interested, and when he couldn't get her to admire any more photos of plates without being forced to admire babies and toddlers in return he said goodnight and never bothered her again.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 11/09/2023 11:50

MCOut · 11/09/2023 11:22

Yes, the person that she went on a date with does sound awful. You don’t sneak out on someone in the middle of a date. People have feelings and I can imagine pp gelt horrible when he did that

He didn't sneak out, his mum was dying!!

MCOut · 11/09/2023 11:54

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 11/09/2023 11:50

He didn't sneak out, his mum was dying!!

My bad. I read that completely wrong! As though he lied and used his dead mother as an excuse

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 11/09/2023 11:54

MCOut · 11/09/2023 11:54

My bad. I read that completely wrong! As though he lied and used his dead mother as an excuse

Fair point, that could have been the scenario!

GobbieMaggie · 11/09/2023 11:55

A long time ago now but I was out with this really nice guy, who I knew had fancied me for ages. On the agreed night it was pouring with rain. We couldn't get a taxi (pre-Uber) and the tube was crammed.

Anyway, got to the restaurant when he started to look really pale, was sweating slightly, and seemed a bit confused. The waitress asked if he was OK as he started to shake uncontrollably.

Luckily, I was a student nurse and knowing he was diabetic realised he was having a hypo. I asked for a sugary drink and some bread stikes. And could I have them like NOW !.

He seemed better but I wasn't happy so managed to get a taxi and ended up in A&E. My friend walked passed, saw me, and was slightly confused, " I thought it was your night off. Something happened ? ". Errm yes and yes altho I spared her the details.

I was wet , tired and just wanted my bed so I called my poor dad who came and collected me. I left hypo boy to make his own way home.

He was so apologetic the next day and promised to make it up to me so I gave him one last chance. We've been married 23 years with three kids.

Qwertyyui · 11/09/2023 12:05

I have so many!

Restaurant owner picked me up in a fancy car and took me to his restaurant. Turns out he just worked there and God knows who's car it was!

Found out the guy was an remand for beating his ex gf up. Apparently it was a misunderstanding.

Met the guy to find out his photos were about 20 years old. Had no emergency call lined up so the girl at the bar took my number and called me. I thanked her on the phone because my manners are too good. He heard. I changed my number after that.

Guy looked and sounded like my brother in law. Paid for my own food etc at nandos as didn't want to owe him anything. Explained he was a nice guy but he reminded me of BIL so couldn't go further. He sent me a link to a 4chan post where him and his friends called me a THOT. For not sleeping with him and paying my own way. Still don't get that one.

Met up with a guy who's first words were 'you looked smaller in your pictures' I was a size 6-8 at the time.

That is a snapshot into a few of many.

Qwertyyui · 11/09/2023 12:08

Oh my worst worst one was met a guy after work (5pm) he was HAMMERED. I said I was going for a bus after 1 drink. He said he would come with me as he lived on the same route. He tried to kiss me on the back of the bus in front of old ladies. I just looked at him and firmly said 'No' that was probably the most mortified I have been for a while!

NameChangeForReason · 11/09/2023 12:26

Some guy on tinder, looked vaguely familiar but couldn't place him so figured I saw his face through work.
We matched, got talking, I asked for his hobbies, he mentions cooking and I naively asked him if he cooks well. "I think so" was his reply.
Go on this date and he tells me he's actually a chef at some fancy restaurant, and proceeds to spend the next 3 hours slagging off the food we were eating (some tiny cafe bistro thing) and talking babout himself and all these famous people he had cooked for. Didn't ask me a single question about me or my life.
He was utterly boring so I left, thanked him, kissed him on the cheek. I got home and googled him and well, he has his own TV show and was apparently married with young kids.

PoshHorseyBird · 11/09/2023 12:47

This was years and years ago.
I had got chatting to a guy online, he seemed nice enough and we chatted online for a couple of weeks, then via text, then we agreed to go on a date.
We met at a pub, got drinks, sat down and had what I can only describe as the most painful hour ever. He just didn't talk. Everything I asked him he have one word answers to. Absolutely everything. And didn't ask me a thing. I can honestly say I've had better conversations with my dog! I would ask him something and be frantically thinking of another question to ask after his one word answers. I thought maybe I was going on too much so went quiet to give him the chance to talk. Nothing. We sat in silence. I made an excuse about an early start at work and left. Got home to loads of texts from him saying what a great time we'd had, such a shame I'd had to go, etc etc...I did say in the nicest possible way I didn't think we were the right fit. He couldn't understand why 🤦‍♀️

Seriously79 · 11/09/2023 12:52

First date after DH left me was with a teacher.

He enjoyed telling me that he'd had an affair with a student, but it was ok as she was over 16 and in 6th form.

He couldn't/ wouldn't see that it was wrong. 🤷‍♀️

PissBeUponYou · 11/09/2023 13:01

NC because people irl know these.

I was set up on a blind date by a neighbour.
I was a single mum, she said he had kids, nice guy etc.
He was perfectly lovely for someone but not me.
He had moved his pregnant partner and toddler hundreds of miles for his job then cheated on her & left! He ended up putting me in touch with his ex as she (obviously ) knew nobody and we were friends when our kids were little.

The man who was making me slightly uncomfortable, nothing to put my finger on. We met in a busy bar. I ended up asking if he'd ever been arrested. His reply was 'yes but they couldn't prove it was me'
A previous date had been spiked and collapsed. Never left anywhere so fast in my life.

Fallingthroughclouds · 11/09/2023 13:26

Rainbow1612 · 10/09/2023 23:54

Apology for what? Choking?

Nothing to apologise for, for choking but sitting there covered with sick after puking on her plate and expecting them to continue the date was a bit much. Also leaning in for a kiss....eurgh.

Fallingthroughclouds · 11/09/2023 13:31

I went on a date with a guy who I then found out when I met him that he had been widowed two months previously. It was 5.30pm and he was hammered (understandable but not comfortable). He was obviously not ready for dating at all.

I suggested a little walk rather than him ordering more drinks. He tried to kiss me, then when I refused phoned his friend who he spoke to for an age saying that I didn't love him and it asking whether he should try again.

We walked back to the pub and he couldn't get an Uber so feeling bad I offered him a lift home. Saying goodbye he tried to kiss me again and wouldn't just get out. I was a bit rude to him at that point, felt a bit bad, but what on earth was he doing going on a date so soon. The circumstances of her death were harrowing too.

Fallingthroughclouds · 11/09/2023 13:33

I went on a walk with another guy whose was telling me about his worst every date. It was amusingly told, to cut a long story short she was taken into custody and when released came and found his house and was shouting at him to come out and play at 2am. He was terrified.

Fallingthroughclouds · 11/09/2023 13:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Baneofmyexistence · 11/09/2023 14:01

One date asked me to go on one of those smaller London eye type wheels that are in other cities. I told him no I don’t like heights but he kept on about it so went on just to shut him up. Already at that point I was against another date. Anyway we get to the top and I hate it because I’m scared of heights, I have a panic attack till we get back down. He then said ‘you should have said you were scared of heights’! He didn’t listen when I said no to another date either, kept trying to talk me into it but I stuck to my guns that time!

towriteyoumustlive · 11/09/2023 14:07

My dating history is full of woe.

I went on a date with a guy that was sooooo tight. I had to buy the first round (fair enough - I chose the pub), but when it was his round and I asked for a pint of Peroni, I got half a pint of some cheap watery lager!

On the next date (why did I agree?!?!) the meal was split to the nearest penny, then when he dropped me off he asked for petrol money as the restaurant that HE suggested was a 30 minute drive away. No more dates!

After a string of failed relationships, I finally started dating this lovely guy who was a mutual friend. We dated a few weeks, all was going really well. On Valentines day he came to my room (hall of residence) with chocolates and flowers and then told me he didn't want a relationship any more, it was him not me blah blah blah. WFT?? That evening we (me and friends, him and his friends) were all going to a valentines ball. I put on a brave face, drank lots, then by 10pm had had enough of couples so went up to bed. And there he was, 10 metres from my bedroom door snogging another girl. I still hate flowers and chocolates on valentines day.

JengaCupboard · 11/09/2023 14:18

I met a guy I'd been speaking to on FB Messenger type thing (I think) about 15 years ago at a local-ish pub. Firstly he looked nothing like his photos. It transpired that he was 32 and lived in a summer house in his parents garden. He was heavily involved in beaver/scout stuff and actually had some sort of pin badge on his shirt, which he wore on everything apparently.

He then spent about 25 minutes telling me about the inner workings of the printer he had bought for the flyers and newsletters for beavers... and that we couldn't be be late as he had more flyers to make later, unless I wanted to see the printer...I don't think this was innuendo either.

He said 'heck' a lot and most weirdly kept licking his thumb and smoothing his eyebrows, literally every couple of minutes...

Probably a sweet guy and with hindsight very possibly may have had Aspergers but definitely not for me. I left after one drink and then batted his follow up by advising I was moving to Germany for work. At the time I worked in a call center for a builders merchant...

plumtreebroke · 11/09/2023 14:20

Fourlegsandatail · 10/09/2023 23:10

A friend of mine had a date with a guy she had met online. He turned up with his previous night’s date as they ‘didn’t want their date to end’.

Similar to this, had arranged to meet a guy on my birthday that I had been out with a few times before. I was coming home in the evening by train and he met me at the station, but with another girl in tow, seems he was on a date with her (obviously I had no clue). Took us both for a quick drink, 'since it was my birthday' (for the benefit of the other girl) and then dropped me home to go off with her. I had put off other friends I could have spent the evening with to meet up with him for what I thought would be a romantic evening. Gutted at the time, but in retrospect a lucky escape.

ReginaPhalange1989 · 11/09/2023 14:37

I am from Yorkshire (which was stated on my OLD profile at the time) and was living in London.

Met a guy form Essex, messaged for a while before meeting, and - I thought - learned about each other (he obviously didn't remember anything I told him about myself...)

We met in a pub before dinner, I ordered a pint of Cider and the first thing he said was (in a disgusted tone) "oh wow, I've never met a woman who drinks pints" - I am 5ft1 and a size 6 so maybe he was surprised... but then he asked if I'd like a cocktail instead as it was more lady like (should've left then and there!)

He then proceeded to talk about how awful northern (particularly Yorkshire) accents are, and how it makes people sound really stupid, and uneducated. It is the worst accent to him and it turns him off entirely, wont even consider dating someone from Yorkshire - I did at this point say how I was northern, but he kind of batted it off saying something like "your accent isn't that bad"
(FYI his accent was a massive turn off for me, he sounded like Joey Essex, but I would never disregard someone based on an accent as it has nothing to do with who the person actually is)

He then went into another lecture about culture and how many immigrants and asylum seekers there are in the UK and how it needs to be better controlled as we're loosing our British identity - I stated the opposite, that I love the mix of cultures in Britain, which is what I think makes us who we are, and that my Grandad wouldn't be alive today if he has not been allowed to seek asylum from Yemen when he was a child, when all his family were killed by the Taliban.
He then looked at me and said "hmmm yes I thought you weren't full British, you do look a bit foreign"

Then to the restaurant😖
He asked me if I was ordering the salad... Big fat no... I am also a vegetarian and I got a 15 minute lecture at this point about how unhealthy I must be without eating meat, as we need meat to survive as humans, and that one day I'll get seriously ill (Been veggie 20 years and haven't dropped dead yet)
I order a pasta dish and incidentally I use my knife and fork in the incorrect hands, always have, always will, and he stops, slams down his cutlery, and with a horrified look on his face says
"You can't eat like that here, it's a nice place, you're eating like an animal"
By this point I was more than ready to leave, so I though f**k it and I said
"No, this is what an animal eats like" and I proceeded to put down my knife and fork, and stick my face into my pasta and eat if off the plate like a dog... 😂

Well dinner ended pretty quick, no desserts and he paid and left while I was in the toilet cleaning past sauce off my face!!

The waitress thought it was hilarious, and told me I had dodged a massive bullet as she had seen him there before on other dates, and that his dates usually left crying before the end of the meal!!

I am sure it was a fun game he played with himself... let's see how much shit these women will put up with before they snap! Lol

I bet he's still single

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