How do make decisions?

[Mooshamoo]

One of my worst qualities is that I'm extremely indecisive. I can never seem to decide a thing with ease.

Where to live, which job to do etc etc. For example right now I'm in Ireland. I could do a job in Ireland. I have taught English as a second language abroad in Spain in the past, so I know a good few people abroad who are still working in that area. One of my best friends has just gone to teach in Saudi Arabia and she is telling me there is a job there in her school if I want it. They would definitely hire me , as they like to hire people who have been reccomended by current workers.

Then I was out last night and I was chatting to my friend's boyfriend. He said he is just back from teaching in a school in Spain and they are looking for teachers.

This all sounds great, that I have lots of job offers, but I get myself in absolute knots trying to make a decision about where to go.

I think with teaching English as a second language, it's harder to make a decision on jobs as you have to make the really big decision of which country to move to. And moving country by myself is hard.

Whereas if I was working as say an accountant it would be easier as I would probably just work away in ireland all the time.

How do you make decisions? About the big things - where to live and where to work etc

Yes = Yes
MAybe = No
Think about it = No
No = No

Toss a coin!!!!
If the result makes you relieved, you know the answer. If you’re disappointed in the result, you know the answer.

For example, say I really wanted a bar of chocolate but couldn’t decide if I should have one or not. I toss a coin and its heads for not having one, but I’m disappointed. Why? Because I truly do want a bar of chocolate. I was subconsciously hoping for Tails, because that would have been a signal to have my chocolate without guilt. So because I got heads and was disappointed, I now know what I truly wanted, and can go ahead and have my chocolate

It’s so simple but it helps me, and I’m the poster girl for neurotic

I have also used a yes/no wheel spinner online and a magic 8 ball to help me make decisions 😂😂😂

Right down the list of pro and cons

usually it’s is fear that stops us making decision. And that’s driven by the unknown. Find out as much as you can, visualise the future in both scenarios to a lot of detail. Work out practicalities. List pro and cons. It’ll become obvious then which is most sensible decision logically

then if you feel massive notional dissatisfaction with that logical decision, go with your heart instead but your eyes wide open

also have a look at “change pathways”. Humans are naturally resistant to change. Our emotions and feeling go through a fairly typical pathway. Understanding that can help.
https://d1eeu5g8a9pd6i.cloudfront.net/docs/marketing/covid-19/wellbeing-toolkit-coping-with-change.pdf

I go purely on instinct.

There's a fair bit of evidence that we actually make our minds up within seconds of having a choice. All the hoo-ha is just the ego/conscius mind justifying the decision.

So if I get a notion, I go with it. If there's a decision I'm not sure on, I do the coin toss as above and for the same reasons.

I'm well known for making irrational decisions that turn out exceedingly well. Then people call me lucky. I think it's just tapping into all the stuff my unconscous knows that my conscious doesn't.

Sometimes it's good to see how you react to someone else's suggestion. I ask another person to advise me and my reaction to that tells me what I need to know!

Depends.

Sometimes a pros and cons list works.

But if one of the cons is “I don’t want to” then the pros don’t really matter to me all that much.

It’s usually a battle between head and heart though. Usually heart wins.

Its worked well for me so far as I don’t have any major life regrets and even the mistakes I made ended up being okay in the end.

I’m always overthinking and worry a lot so I do pros and cons list but I need to discuss it with someone, it doesn’t work with me otherwise. I try it out bits by bits on different people and then talk it through fully with DH.

Also a bit similar to @ChristmasFluff I usually have this inner feeling very quickly and follow it, I do listen the arguments but the inner feeling either changes quickly or stay the same.