To ask about what age you started to leave your DCs in the evening so you could go out?

[dorisdoesdidsbury]

DCs are 11 and 13 (yr7 and yr9). We've left them for two-three hrs in the daytime or early evening before 8.30.
But now friends who's oldest DC are the same age as mine have started to leave them to go out (locally) so maybe till 11-11.30 ish. Some also have younger siblings, 7-8yrs, too.

When my DCs are home alone they just stay in their own rooms playing on their gaming devices, quite happy.

Part of me thinks it'd be fine for us to pop to the local, I know I was babysitting when I was in year 9.

But then part of me thinks they're a bit too young. I just don't know!

What do other people do?

I was wondering similar last night while dropping DH off at the pub. (5 miles, so not walking distance).

What age could I pick t him up if necessary? Or stay for a couple of soft drinks?

Mine are 10 &12, so not quite yet... I leave them while awake but asleep seems different.b

I started going to evening gym classes once my DC's were in secondary school.

Id say that's reasonable if you're local and presumably have a phone if they need you. Depends on their maturity I guess, at that age they're old enough to walk home from school alone so I think they're old enough to be left

I think 13 is on the cusp and may be OK depending on child. I was babysitting at that age.

I was babysitting at 13. I'd expect a teen to be responsible enough. Do what's right for your family. You'll know if the 13 year old is mature enough and the 11 year old compliant enough.
Would you expect the 11 year old to have got ready and be in bed/sleeping? Would there be any push back, or them giving the older sibling a hard time?

I wouldn't expect them to go to bed. They always stay up late on weekend nights anyway as they are both rubbish sleepers anyway so we don't bother fighting it when it's not a school night!

It depends on the child really

If they're fine till 8:30, I don't see what difference 9 or 10 makes

My almost 14 year old is very grown up and has recently begun babysitting our almost 11 yo in the evenings, they keep in touch via text and we are have been home by 11 and not too far away. We also let our lovely neighbour know in case they have an emergency and they have her number too. It really depends on the children but if they are fine being left for a while in the day, can walk to school or go to the shop / meet friends alone and are generally sensible then they will be ok.

We started when they were almost 14 & 12 - going to a pub quiz down the road so only back about 10.30. They put themselves to bed without any fuss. I usually message about nine/9.30 to remind them. but we were only five minutes away if they needed us. They are both quite happy with this though, even my son who is autistic and used to be very clingy at bedtime. We wouldn't do it if they weren't.

Did (14) would probably have been fine from 12/13 if she didn't have younger sibling - very sensible and loves being home alone

Ours are the same age/stage & we don't have any younger DC. We live in a road where we know all of our neighbours well and have a couple with young children on one side & an older couple on the other side, neither of whom really go out in the evenings. We've started leaving them in the evenings but only if we're in the local town (could get home in 5 mins). The first few times we told the neighbours, now we don't.
We were out until 11pm one night in the summer and the DC said they didn't like going to bed and going to sleep without us being there. On Saturday nights, they're often up until about 10.30 anyway (even if I their rooms earlier) so we make sure we're home by then. On one occasions when we knew we were going to be out later than that, we did get one of the older teens on our road to come over at 9.00 and he stayed until we got home.

I think it's fine at that age OP if you are local and as long as they are happy to be left. We used to get some snacks and treats in to have while they watched a movie they were happy with that.

For normal people, no different. However, it's Mumsnet, so oh my God DARK! Even grown women don't venture out in it apparently.

I have a year 9 ds. I don't leave him in the evenings.

Depends on the child. I have 2 Ds, leave them in the day for a few hours fine (and the older one who is 15 I would leave all day/evening if needed).

The younger one (12) is super sensible and fine in the day but at night he wouldnt want to be left, he wont even go upstairs by hinself

I've got a DS12 And a DS 10. We recently just left them til 9:30 so we could go to a school event. They were excellent, just gamed and watched tv til we got home. We were in regular text and FaceTime contact. They're both sensible boys .

I leave my 13 year old if we're going out for dinner or something. I wouldn't leave younger siblings, but she's my only one so it hasn't come up. She takes full advantage of being able to watch Netflix and eat snacks the whole time and has generally not moved when we get back. My parents live ten mins away if needs be.

I think when mine were 13 and 12 the 13 year old was taller than most of the babysitters so refused one. Fair enough. Depends on the maturity of the child too. Before that we’d leave them in the evening for a few hours but come back before their bedtime. It took me a while to be comfortable with them going to bed for some reason.

I find it a tricky stage to be honest! I’d rather there was an adult in the house but it’s always been fine. They keep in touch by phone.

Oh and the 12 year old (now 13) was always more mature than his older brother. It would be different if there were younger siblings.

Depends on how sensible the child is and how anxious the parent is! I have friends who often leave their child at age 12. I have another friend who won't leave her very sensible 15 year old DD for 10 minutes in the day!
My two children are one year behind yours. I was thinking of leaving them when the eldest turns 14. She is very sensible though so might start doing it when she's 13.5.