Children's party argh

[EurecinShineAsYourBestSelf]

Just wrapped up on my DC's party.

If you've RSVP'd, turn up or let me know if your plans have changed.

If you have dietary requirements let me know in advance (like I asked!). Happy to accommodate them but not psychic.

If you want a sibling to tag along, let me know in advance. I mean, preferably leave them at home with their other parent, but if that doesn't work then just a bit of notice would be nice.

If you bring said sibling along and they are a whiny shit who pushes to the front of the queue for cake and then chases the host around for 20 minutes mithering for a party bag, stop chatting and try to distract/control them.

Please don't recycle wholly inappropriate presents - you know, I know, and even my five year old knows.

Why the fuck do apparently reasonable people act like this?

Because people are arseholes.

Can’t improve on the first response

Yep people are dicks and it’s getting worse.

We need public information advertisements like in the 1970s just to remind people to fucking parent their feral children, have consideration for other and don’t be a dick. Although you’d think that was obvious.

Just wrapped up a 13yo party and it was much better. The kids get more invested in making sure they can come.

I remember those days of 5yo parties well. You eventually get to know the nice parents who don't take advantage and encourage those friendships. You can have a smaller number next year. Your dd will have best friends whose parents are dicks but they are either a known quantity or you will find ways of dealing with them.

I remember some really rude parents into the junior school years. In fact I think it was the same woman 2 years on the bounce who annoyed me. One year she was so late to collect that the staff at the venue were locking up and we were stood in the car park. She didn't say sorry but "oh am I the last one to collect?!" .

The next year she didn't reply, spaces were limited, she turned up and dumped her dd on me without having signed the waiver form and effectively stole a place from a child who was 45 mins late to an hour long activity. The staff took pity on the late comer and let her in (it wasn't her fault Manchester United traffic can be horrendous).

I also remember a nursery mum telling me "oh I never reply to invites, I never know what I'm doing until the day" then she'd turn up and expect you'd paid for her space on the off chance.

I also had a soft play 3rd birthday have 3-4 last minute drop outs. So inconsiderate!

I fully agree with this. My kids are 16 and 13 so thankfully I'm several years on from this, but I could never understand why parents didn't bother replying and just turned up for one thing. Its basic good manners to reply and if there's any problem/special requirement, keep the party host in the loop.

You eventually get to know the nice parents who don't take advantage and encourage those friendships.

See, I thought I had. It was a small party and I thought I had a handle on it. But no. Just rude, entitled... argh. I'm almost kicking myself for being the person that does find a suitable present, does RSVP, leaves siblings at home. I could be an asshole and have an easier life.

Same time, next year?!!

I had drop outs too. No notice. No apology before or after. Absolute morons.

But that was registered by me- those kids will not be invited again.

Nor will anyone that couldn't be bothered to RSVP. I find that so bloody rude. It takes a second.

This

Ds 9 has never had a proper party yet. Sounds way too stressful.
Family day out and parry tea only so far!

I think it’s unreasonable to complain about the presents brought to your five year old’s birthday party tbh but the rest of it you’re right about. I don’t think you’d have an easier life if you acted like an arsehole though because behaving like that would feel hideous to anyone with a bit of self-awareness.

I agrée with everything you’ve said Op!

This jumped out in particular:

If you bring said sibling along and they are a whiny shit who pushes to the front of the queue for cake and then chases the host around for 20 minutes mithering for a party bag, stop chatting and try to distract/control them.

It’s always the uninvited sibling who behaves like this. Or the child the sibling belongs to - “I need a party bag/ balloon / whatever for sibling”. And often the parents will have pushed them up to go and get it, never mind not stopping them.

Or if it’s a hot food situation (like in a soft play) they send the sibling to quickly grab a whole load of food before it’s served to the actual party children / plonk said sibling down at the table to eat confidently without asking if it’s ok.

@ZenNudist that woman sounds incredible- “oh I never reply, I don’t know what I’ll be doing” - such entitlement. I really get the rage at people who think they’re a special case like this - does she think the rest of the world replies just for fun?

I don’t invite again people who don’t know how to behave. Luckily they’re never been my child’s closest friends or their parents so far (nearly out of doing “parties” as such as my youngest is 9, so those years are ending).

That said, I would never have not done these parties (unless my kids didn’t want them) as they’re lovely for the host DC. Always feel really sad for the kids who never get them.

This thread has only brought back my shame.
I took my five year old to a class party yesterday. She’s non verbal with no understanding/ social understanding whatsoever. First thing she does… stick her finger in the birthday cake. I was right behind her which prevented her from grabbing a handful of it but it didn’t change the fact there was now a finger size hole going through it.
She took toys out of other children’s party bags, stole a bouncy ball of another child and tried to swallow it whole, tried to escape, stole a lolly that another mother was unwrapping from her child. I was running after her like a loon and she still manages to cause carnage. I’m so embarrassed and worried that she will stop getting invited.

And to make matters worse I think I bought a dud present. I didn’t mean to, I just don’t know the child well. I got her a Belle doll and I turned up and the theme was Wednesday Addams 😩

@Mydogisamentalist I think you're a different kind of guest! I think you done a great job taking your child along knowing how difficult it would be so she can have a relationship with her peers and I hope the party host realises the difference between your situation and run of the mill badly behaved kids. You sound like a really great Mum

you are not the arsehole!

You would have been if you LET DD run riot doing all of that.

Solidarity, from another mum who also cant be that parent sitting and chatting and is often sweating and crawling through softplay to keep an eye on DD.

@Mydogisamentalist A five year olds party with Wednesday Addams theme?! Hopefully they haven't watched much of the TV show and it was chosen just as a "fun" theme. It may not have even been the child's choice. I'm sure your doll will be happily played with!

And I think as long as people can see a parent is trying, that's okay. It's the ones where the parent just isn't bothered and the child is running amok that are the annoying ones.

And I think as long as people can see a parent is trying, that's okay. It's the ones where the parent just isn't bothered and the child is running amok that are the annoying ones.

I agree. Everyone knows that some kids are challenging, and that younger ones are usually terrible with social conventions. That’s part of the parents’ job!

Please don’t beat yourself up @Mydogisamentalist , sounds like you did everything right.

My DS is 7 and having done several years now of big parties (one year missed during covid!) we said this year was the last! Next year, he can pick 3/4 friends for cinema/bowling and pizza or similar, I’m done with big parties!

I never normally bay an eyelid at whatever the kids get given - not everyone can afford much, and if you get duplicates i don’t care if someone re-gifts if they look new/good condition.

However one year my daughter got given a clearly re-gifted item that had been opened and taped & stapled back together. Worst part was it was battery operated and the batteries had corroded and leaked. That was pretty bad!

Bringing an uninvited sibling is the height of rudeness. Absolute ARSEHOLES.

Once my son was gifted one of those meerkats younger free with your car insurance we did have a giggle at that !

I've got a party this week and one of the parents has asked me to pick up her dd from school and take her to the party! Was thrown so said yes, don't even know what this friend looks like