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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by random people making comments at my child

21 replies

lemonaaade · 10/09/2023 11:52

Why do people feel the need to comment on your child?

My DD kept kicking her shoes off in the buggy so for a min she had one shoe on as I was walking.
“Oh god That baby only has one shoe on”

Another person - “Her sunglasses are lopsided, I’ve never seen a toddler in sunglasses before how strange”

“look at that baby she’s wearing sunglasses”

she plays with her socks, hats, everything. I bought her some sunglasses as she’s obsessed with mine and also the sun gets in her eyes and she gets upset in the buggy.

maybe it’s just today and I’m being sensitive but feel like if I miss something for a second people are on it.

OP posts:

NuffSaidSam · 10/09/2023 11:54

I can't say I've ever encountered anything like this. Where do you live that people have never seen a child in sunglasses?!

People sometimes comment on them being cute or funny, but never something completely ordinary like wearing sunglasses/taking a shoe off.

Hiddenvoice · 10/09/2023 11:55

I know it’s hard but disregard it. People comment on babies and children all the time. My little one wears sunglasses because she thinks it’s hilarious. People have commented but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

What they’ve said might be annoying but it isn’t the worst things.

Smile, hold your head up high and be happy that your little girl is curious and enjoys playing.

Cosyblankets · 10/09/2023 11:56

Is it not just conversation?

GorillaInBikini · 10/09/2023 11:56

NuffSaidSam · 10/09/2023 11:54

I can't say I've ever encountered anything like this. Where do you live that people have never seen a child in sunglasses?!

People sometimes comment on them being cute or funny, but never something completely ordinary like wearing sunglasses/taking a shoe off.

I concur. My kids are often in disarray and one likes to wear sunglasses upside down. I sometimes get "awww don't you look cool/cute/whatever" but nothing like you've described!

JanesBlond · 10/09/2023 11:57

It sounds like they aren’t actually making these comments to you/your child but the people they are with? Just ignore it, it’s human nature to comment on [things in] your surroundings. It’s not a judgement on you.

MumOfTwoBoyChildren · 10/09/2023 12:00

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Original poster

lemonaaade · 10/09/2023 12:05

I don’t usually get annoyed and know people probably don’t mean anything bad, I think I’m just being over sensitive today and just want to go out and get what I need today without a rolling commentary of what my child looks like or what I’ve missed in the second between her kicking her shoe or sock off again and she’s missing one! Just venting!

OP posts:

TripleDaisySummer · 10/09/2023 12:07

No sometimes it just happens mostly just ignore.

Though old neighbour used to drive me nuts with DS - he got Juvenile spring eruption and before we knew what it was - and several GP didn't -used to cry with pain - solution sun hat in spring the guy commented every time and sometime took his at off passing by and shoving it in DS hands- always in a PA way around you not to you and hat taking off was through gate when I was trying to get three kids one way and he'd be passing other way and both us having crowned in front and behind. That drove me nuts - as there wasn't suspect deliberately a chance to wtf at him till there was and then it stopped.

Moveoverdarlin · 10/09/2023 12:08

Never had this, but none of it is so offensive it would upset me. I can’t imagine having the inclination to comment on a child in a buggy with only one shoe on, but if they did I’d be pretty nonplussed.

MumOfTwoBoyChildren · 10/09/2023 12:08

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jays · 10/09/2023 12:20

I think I only had this once but it felt absolutely terrible. I’d had a really difficult labour and birth and this was my first baby. I think ds was about 7 weeks old and after a c-section I’d managed to get him and his big pram down three flights of stairs (dh was at work) I had him dressed properly for the winter and it was my first time out and about with him myself, I lived in a town centre at the time and it was quite chaotic and stressful. Ds hated having mittens on so he had his hands under the blankets in the pram, I was only going about ten mins down the road to the big Boots to buy some bits and bobs to try and make myself feel human again: I was in the store about ten seconds when a female employee said “oh poor baby, did mummy not wrap you up for winter, are your handies cold?” (They weren’t) I wouldn’t bat an eyelid now and I’d probably rip her a new one, but at the time, oh I was crushed! I was honestly absolutely so shamed I went home and cried. I still remember the feeling to this day. He’s 19 now and still won’t wear gloves 😂 point is though people just make these shitty stupid comments and there’s just no need. I do remember the summer after when he was about 6 months old and I was going down the high street with him in a baby carrier with his sunhat and his sunglasses on and loads of people were saying oh at that baby with his sunglasses and they really were tickled pink by it… that was a lovely day, people honestly were so sweet, so I guess the nice comments stick with me too!

SummerDawn2000 · 10/09/2023 12:21

@lemonaaade @MumOfTwoBoyChildren to add to your DH saying.
‘and there’s a time and a place to show them’

MumOfTwoBoyChildren · 10/09/2023 12:35

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AngelinaFibres · 10/09/2023 12:58

I try to remember that I will never see these people again and that I don't need to care what they think. Smile and nod and carry on. Fuck you ( said quietly-ish) sounds very like thank-you when said with a friendly smile.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 10/09/2023 13:01

I get "Oh, he doesn't look blind!" and "He's so good looking, isn't it a shame?" when my child reacts by not waving or smiling back when someone speaks to him.

Pinkdelight3 · 10/09/2023 13:11

I'd never make a comment because I'm not outgoing that way, but yesterday I saw a baby with a dummy and sunglasses and it was hilarious, he looked like a little mafia don in his too-big-shades, slouched in his buggy. If I had no filter, I might've blurted something out. Try not to take it to heart, but sure it's annoying.

MargaretThursday · 10/09/2023 13:14

People do comment, but most of the time it's just conversation. I was always amused by the people who told me that dd2 (aged about 1-3yo) had her coat on backwards. She liked a choice so I used to give her a choice of coat on forwards or backwards.
It would be done up to the neck on a child too young to do it up themselves if it was on the front, so it always amused me that people seemed to think I wasn't aware.

I was one time a little bit mean to someone who went: "Oh, poor little one, mummy hasn't got your hand out of your sleeve, isn't it frustrating let me do it for you."
I let them get on with trying to find her hand. Her arm finishes just below the elbow so it took a few moments before they discovered this was not possible. They were somewhat embarrassed.🤣

fedupnow2 · 10/09/2023 13:16

lemonaaade · 10/09/2023 12:05

You've worked yourself up over nothing. No one did this but you. People are just making conversation that's all. Honestly just move on, absolutely nothing to find offence with.

BabyTime2 · 10/09/2023 13:50

I’m with you OP. I hate it when people randomly comment on my daughter in public. Shut the fuck up! 🙄

Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 10/09/2023 13:53

People love stating the obvious. I don't get it/wouldn't do it either unless it's something of consequence!

Cosmosforbreakfast · 10/09/2023 13:56

I would think it more unusual to see a toddler with both shoes and socks on!
Maybe these people have never seen a child for real before?

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