Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

What's the solution?

11 replies

Whatweeating · 10/09/2023 07:25

I've been married to DH for 15 years, both very happy.

10 years ago he unfortunately developed vitiligo. He's never liked the heat/sun much but this means it is very important he doesn't burn, so he must stay covered up (full length trousers, long sleeve tops) and stay out the sun if possible.

Which is horrible for him when weather is like this week! He's hot and understandably a bit grumpy. So any breaks away/holidays are to non-sunny places or in colder months.

I've got a 'big' birthday next year and I'd love to do a safari in Africa.

My issue is, obviously DH will find this miserable as he hates the heat. But he says he does want to come. I'm reluctant to 'force' him on a holiday he will hate!

What would you do?

OP posts:

CalamityA · 10/09/2023 07:27

If he says he wants to come, then let him.

He can make his own choices, and you're not forcing him.

Original poster

Whatweeating · 10/09/2023 07:32

Selfishly, I know he'll just be (understandably) a bit miserable though, which will affect the holiday...

I've suggested that I'm happy to go by myself but that didn't go down well!

OP posts:

Br1ll1ant · 10/09/2023 07:36

Safari holidays generally are active very early in the morning and later in the afternoon, when the animals are also active. So it’s quite common to be covered up in the cooler temperatures. You could make sure the accommodation has A/C (so not a tent!) and then he (or you both) could hide away a bit in the heat of the day? It’s not like it’s a beach, sit in the sun holiday.

cruffinsmuffin · 10/09/2023 07:36

I have no experience of vitiligo so I'm sorry if this is a rude suggestion - could the UV swimming tops help at all? They're quite thin and don't hold heat / moisture too much and I've found them a lifesaver for not burning + keeping cool.

Also on the safari I've normally been taken out stupidly early which is when the animals are waking up / moving, or later in the evening! I don't think I've ever done like a midday one when the suns at it's hottest. We were up at like 3/4am for quite a few of them to do it before the main heat + sun and back relaxing in the compound by 10/11 and back out in the evening sometime. It would be worth speaking to a booking company directly because they'll be able to advise you of the itineraries and timings which might be helpful?

Wiii · 10/09/2023 07:39

I have vitiligo and just wear factor 50. It's common in my family and doesn't stop us going on sunny holidays at all.

My consultant said just make sure to always wear a high factor. I wear factor 50 year round on any exposed skin.

Wiii · 10/09/2023 07:40

When we went on safari it was a case of waking up before dawn to see the animals so no issues there.

ApolloandDaphne · 10/09/2023 07:42

We went to South Africa in October and the weather wasn't hot and sunny. It was pleasant as it is their spring. The safari was fantastic and as others have said you go out early morning and in the evening when it is cooler. I think if you plan the time of year right he will not be hit and uncomfortable at all.

Divebar2021 · 10/09/2023 07:43

I went on safari in the month of April to South Africa and it wasn’t especially hot… do you have freedom to go when you want ?

fernsandlilies · 10/09/2023 08:00

Alternatively, is there another kind of holiday that could suit you both? Visit the Galápagos Islands, or do animal spotting in Costa Rica?

maryberryslayers · 10/09/2023 08:03

Get him factor 100 suncream.
My DH is so pale, if he does a running race in any kind of sun he has to wear this.

SallyWD · 10/09/2023 08:42

I'd let him come. Many people in hot countries cover up - long sleeved tops and long trousers. They just wear cool fabrics like linen and cotton. I actually think it's cooler to cover up than have the sun on your bare skin. You don't get that burning feeling. I always wear long trousers in the heat because I have varicose veins and I find lightweight trousers to be very fresh.

Flip