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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pretend to be stark raving mad?

25 replies

Mindingmyown1 · 09/09/2023 17:39

It's a grand way of keeping people away from you isn't it? If they think you've lost the plot they'll probably avoid you at all costs. The idea came up in jest but now I'm actually considering it. Long story short.. horrible neighbour who I want to leave me alone.

No disrespect intended to those with mental health problems, I actually do have mental health problems myself but nothing that presents as significant enough to make the git want to give me a wide birth.

What shall I do next time he approaches me on the landing? Scream? Start talking in tongues?

OP posts:
RustyIronChicken · 09/09/2023 17:42

Say you're now a jehova witness and does he know God?!

Capdontrecycle · 09/09/2023 17:43

I actually do have mental health problems myself

and this idea might be part of that!

CrapBucket · 09/09/2023 17:44

I have been known to gently sing to myself in a busy cafe so that I didn’t have to share my table…

MagpiePi · 09/09/2023 17:45

Ask him to stop treading on the rabbits (other imaginary animals are available ) you are taking for a walk and get more upset because he can’t see them and keeps hurting them. Then ask him if he will look after some of them for the weekend.

Original poster
Mindingmyown1 · 09/09/2023 17:45

Say you're now a jehova witness and does he know God?!

Brilliant! There are religious folk on the High street most days giving out pamphlets, I'll take one and present it to him.

and thisidea might be part of that!

Haha possibly, it's a shame he can't read my mind. That would scare the bejesus out of him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mindingmyown1 · 09/09/2023 17:46

I'm laughing so much. These are great 😂

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 09/09/2023 17:47

I used to scowl at people if they came near me on a bus, they always sat next to me.

Now I look really happy that they're about to sit next to me, close my book and look like I'm ready to chat. They soon move on Grin

Original poster
Mindingmyown1 · 09/09/2023 18:23

I have permanent RBF so if I start smiling maniacally they'll for sure think something is amiss 😄

OP posts:
BrennanBooth · 09/09/2023 18:59

My sister and her friends used to bark at people if they catcalled them - like literal dog barking, apparently it was very effective 😆

BlackboardMonitorVimes · 09/09/2023 19:14

I used to live in a very touristy area and when they all piled off the train you had no hope of walking the opposite way up the pavement. I found closing my eyes and singing gave me a clear path through the throng.

YouLetDougalDoAFuneral · 09/09/2023 19:14

Double down on @MagpiePi's idea by fashioning some leads for your (totally real and definitely not imaginary) rabbits from string/ribbon/anything you have lying around the house and drag them around with you.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/09/2023 19:17

Don’t move very much and then smile. That’ll sort it.

CustardySergeant · 09/09/2023 19:25

DurhamDurham · 09/09/2023 17:47

I used to scowl at people if they came near me on a bus, they always sat next to me.

Now I look really happy that they're about to sit next to me, close my book and look like I'm ready to chat. They soon move on Grin

Oh, yes, I think it was Ed Byrne who said if you're on a bus and don't want anyone to sit next to you, smile and pat the seat as if you're inviting them to. 😁

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/09/2023 19:25

Thebigblueballoon · 09/09/2023 19:17

Don’t move very much and then smile. That’ll sort it.

Edited

Make sure that you only move the bottom half of your face. The smile must not, under any circumstances, move even a fraction of an inch above your nose.

Keep looking directly at him, unblinking, with totally still eyebrows, nose and eyes, as though you've had Botox from an overenthusiastic bloke with a tendency to fiddle and faff around when doing DIY.

Ideally, also imagine that you have had 3ml of filler in your upper lip, so that doesn't move, either.

And then, as you've pulled back your lower lip and bared your lower teeth at him, maintain the face mask and tilt your head to one side, return to upright and say through the rictus grin 'I've been waiting for you'.

Hawkins0009 · 09/09/2023 19:55

i usually come up with strange conspiracy theories or do the devils advocate on different topics , i usually prefer to believe myself rather than eg just trusting the main stream media narrative ect. usually some think im unusual,

usually that gives the perspective

Hawkins0009 · 09/09/2023 19:56

although i dont try to be odd, im just odd at times , at least i think i am.

whoisjoe · 09/09/2023 19:57

Ask them who is that person beside them , freaks them out into thinking you are seeing things . Or … say “sorry, I don’t have any spare change”

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/09/2023 19:59

Put your pants on your head a pencil up each nostril and say Wibble

sunshinesupermum · 09/09/2023 19:59

I must try that one!

Thebigblueballoon · 09/09/2023 20:12

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/09/2023 19:25

Make sure that you only move the bottom half of your face. The smile must not, under any circumstances, move even a fraction of an inch above your nose.

Keep looking directly at him, unblinking, with totally still eyebrows, nose and eyes, as though you've had Botox from an overenthusiastic bloke with a tendency to fiddle and faff around when doing DIY.

Ideally, also imagine that you have had 3ml of filler in your upper lip, so that doesn't move, either.

And then, as you've pulled back your lower lip and bared your lower teeth at him, maintain the face mask and tilt your head to one side, return to upright and say through the rictus grin 'I've been waiting for you'.

Show quote history

You’ve obviously done it more than me.

Lilly11a · 09/09/2023 20:15

If I popped into a pub on my own ( usually to kill time between meetings) , I d bring a serial killer book so no men would try and talk to me

HamBone · 09/09/2023 20:16

According to my teenagers, I sometimes mumble to myself in the house-I refer to call it “thinking aloud.”

You could try “thinking aloud” when you walk past his door….

ToxicPositivity · 09/09/2023 20:24

Your op doesn't quite sit right with me but let me tell you about my ex neighbour jim that had schizophrenia

Took all the local pelican crossing lights covers off
Took up all water drains on the street and planted said pelican crossing covers
Spray painted Radio *** across the width of the flats
Invited the local Young Team into his to smoke weed 24/7

mynameiscalypso · 09/09/2023 20:26

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/09/2023 19:59

Put your pants on your head a pencil up each nostril and say Wibble

Edited

I was coming on to say this too. Sound advice.

Prelapsarianhag · 09/09/2023 20:42

Say you would like to tell him about Jesus, who is your friend.

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