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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unbelievable!

47 replies

IVFthenPERI · 08/09/2023 17:06

So I had a guy earlier measuring for some work we need doing to the house. He’s brought his kids with him, 10 & 12 year old. Told them they could come in if they want and I’d get them a drink as it’s very very warm outside. Little bit unprofessional but I have 4 year old twins so know how hard it can be to cover the school hours.

omg is this how children behave, literally picking everything up, asking what it is. No manners when I gave them a drink. Then they asked for the WI-FI password, which threw me a bit and I just said I didn’t know.

The builder asked a question, five minutes later I go back in the the room and one of the kids is behind the tv with the router upside down saying I’ve found the Wi-Fi password.

i said ok that’s enough, I didn’t tell you that you could do that, and if you can’t have any manners then maybe you should go and wait outside.

un fucking believable. Seriously no good deed goes unpunished does it

so my AIBU is would you still take his quote seriously after this experience.

IANBU - what if he was doing the job during half term and they were always with him

or

IABU - go with the best quite and ignore the kids behaviour

OP posts:
FortofPud · 08/09/2023 17:18

When you say 'told them they could come in for a drink' do you mean you told them that or he told them that? If he did then that's incredibly rude and I certainly wouldn't employ him. If they were just waiting in his van and you invited them in based on the heat then that's a little better as he wasn't actually intending to impose his children and their awful behaviour on you. It's still off-putting though.

BMW6 · 08/09/2023 17:19

I wouldn't trust him not to bring the kids to your home! And I'd tell him he has not got the job because he doesn't control his kids and their behaviour was awful.

FortofPud · 08/09/2023 17:22

Also, did he apologise for them or acknowledge their behaviour, or give you any assurances that they wouldn't be back? That would make a difference for me. If he was clear that it was a one off and he was horrified by them, and he seemed great otherwise then I'd perhaps give him a chance. If he didn't give a rats arse about their rudeness then I'd take that as a bad sign.

Freepo · 08/09/2023 17:23

Sounds like someone with no respect for your home if he let his kids behave like that without challenge, so I wouldn’t want to let him loose on it frankly

OhComeOnFFS · 08/09/2023 17:26

They're far too old to behave like that. I would have given them the wifi password, though.

I'd be reluctant to have him do the job if his kids didn't have any respect for you. I wouldn't worry that he'd bring them along when he was working, though.

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 08/09/2023 17:28

Where was the builder?

Different room?

Original poster
IVFthenPERI · 08/09/2023 17:30

Ok so to clarify a little as I read it back and it was a bit confusing. He got the kids out of his van and brought them onto my back garden. I offered them a drink as it was hot.

he was there when one of his kids asked for the Wi-Fi password and there was no reaction from him. If that was my kids I’d tell them to not be so bloody rude

OP posts:
MariePaperRoses · 08/09/2023 17:30

I would not accept his quote.

The children were old enough to behave and be polite and respectful.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so the builder would not be getting my business.

AffIt · 08/09/2023 17:32

My mum ran her own business when I was a child and I remember very occasionally going to a client's house or office.

I would be sat on a chair and told that on absolutely no occasion, save blood, bullets or fire, should I move from that spot or there would be all hell to pay when we got home.

Remarkably enough, I managed it.

Onelifeonly · 08/09/2023 17:33

Not sure. I guess he was concentrating on the job while you were noticing what the children were doing. It's not really on that he brought them though and they do sound pushy / badly behaved. Though I possibly would have given them the wifi password but would have checked with their father first.

If it's a good quote, you could ask that he doesn't bring the children to the job?

readbooksdrinktea · 08/09/2023 17:34

Shocking behaviour with the router. Just badly behaved over all it sounds like. I'd be worried he'd be taking them to your house a lot.

Janieforever · 08/09/2023 17:43

IVFthenPERI · 08/09/2023 17:30

Ok so to clarify a little as I read it back and it was a bit confusing. He got the kids out of his van and brought them onto my back garden. I offered them a drink as it was hot.

he was there when one of his kids asked for the Wi-Fi password and there was no reaction from him. If that was my kids I’d tell them to not be so bloody rude

to be honest I’d have not had an issue with this either, and wouldn’t perceive asking as rude.

Original poster
IVFthenPERI · 08/09/2023 17:44

I’ve got 2 quotes already so let’s see what he comes back with. The only thing in his favour so far is that he seems more knowledgeable about what needed doing than the other 2 quotes.

re the Wi-Fi, I didn’t know what it was off the top of my head, but I didn’t want to go fannying about behind the tv looking at the router. Also my DH is at home, who was at the time on a teams call and would have been mightily pissed off if the internet had dropped due to them messing

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 08/09/2023 17:45

I wouldn't hire that man to clean my toilets.

WithManyTot · 08/09/2023 17:55

"Then they asked for the WI-FI password, which threw me a bit and I just said I didn’t know.
I go back in the the room and one of the kids is behind the tv with the router upside down saying I’ve found the Wi-Fi password."

Did you really not know or did you tell a bit of a white lie because you couldn't face telling them what you really thought?

They were children, not adults. Even many adults wouldn't be able to 'read between the lines" on this. They probably though they were helping you out

Janieforever · 08/09/2023 17:59

IVFthenPERI · 08/09/2023 17:44

I’ve got 2 quotes already so let’s see what he comes back with. The only thing in his favour so far is that he seems more knowledgeable about what needed doing than the other 2 quotes.

re the Wi-Fi, I didn’t know what it was off the top of my head, but I didn’t want to go fannying about behind the tv looking at the router. Also my DH is at home, who was at the time on a teams call and would have been mightily pissed off if the internet had dropped due to them messing

Which doesn’t make any logical sense as you just said you felt it rude to ask.

Trenda · 08/09/2023 18:01

It would be a big no from me. So unprofessional of him and the lack of attention to his own children would make me wonder what else he overlooked .

Had he offered an explanation - Child care had fallen through or his ex asked to change weeks or whatever .
And also;
kept on top of what the children were doing while in your home and reminded them of their manners(although at 10 and 12 they shouldnt need reminding) and apologised /offered an explanation of why they were so badly behaved .

Only then might I consider it if the balance of knowledge and cost works out well.

Original poster
IVFthenPERI · 08/09/2023 18:03

More than one thing can be true at the same time. I didn’t know what the Wi-Fi password was off without looking but I also felt it was rude to ask in the first place

OP posts:
Strugglingtodomybest · 08/09/2023 18:06

In my head, the two things are unrelated. If you're happy with his quote, go for it the kids will probably be back at school by the time he does the work anyway.

I don't consider it rude to ask for the Wi-Fi password either. You said you didn't know it, so they went and looked for it. If you'd said they couldn't have it, that would be a different matter imo.

EvilElsa · 08/09/2023 18:08

Did the kids apologise? It was a bit rude, maybe they assumed that you saying you didn't know made it OK to use if they found out? It was wrong obviously and my kids wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't necessarily be put off using the builder if his quote was decent. It's not like they went rummaging through your cupboards for food or stole stuff.

billy1966 · 08/09/2023 18:12

MariePaperRoses · 08/09/2023 17:30

I would not accept his quote.

The children were old enough to behave and be polite and respectful.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so the builder would not be getting my business.

This.

StrawberryWater · 08/09/2023 18:14

Do not hire him. If his kids behaved like that I wouldn’t be able to trust him.

My dad was a gardener / pond installer and I often used to go along with him when he did quotes. I would never have behaved in the manner as those kids. It’s rude and disrespectful. The expectation was you come along, behave and take what was offered with good grace, not wonder around someone’s house taking the piss.

AlwaysWritten · 08/09/2023 18:16

Course the kids were rude. Mine would have not done that in a million years. Nope I would not use him.

Movingandlooking · 08/09/2023 18:17

I wouldn't of let my kids do this. But I know plenty others who would! I don't think it's cheeky of the kids to ask. They will. But cheeky of dad not to pipe up and say no we don't ask or something along those lines.

Rosaleee · 08/09/2023 18:39

As he didn’t insist his children stayed with him or react when one asked for the Wi-Fi password, his intention was to use you as child care.
I once had a decorator dismiss a massive job he’d carelessly created for me which was his responsibility. Never again.
The deal is he works for you. Not the other way round.