To get the chills from someone I barely know at all?

[bloopingbleeping]

Had my hackles rise and a strong feeling someone I hardly know is not someone to be trusted.

(I do experience anxiety to some degree already, but it’s more of a “overthink and worry” type, not being physically cold and shaky like this). I don’t believe this person is a danger to my physical safety, but I’ve hardly ever felt this unsafe even around people I know I couldn't trust.

Please tell me about times your intuition reacted to someone and whether you were wrong or right. Preferably more mundane, everyday relationships, not the rare cases of someone encountering a serial killer.

@Gabiabbi I watched that programme too, it was Rodney Alcala I think wasn't it? He was very 'off' despite being good looking and seeming quite personable and charming, its weird how some people just have a vibe that they can't hide.

Jimmy Savile made my skin crawl too, but I didn't think about why.

He just presented as a freak to me.

There is a guy in my office building ( different company). No idea why, he gives me the chills, feel almost breathless if by accident I'm in the elevator with him. He's perfectly polite, good eye contact, appropriate small talk but just really really makes me uneasy.

Building is on a big campus that's pretty empty ( to say say totally dead ) post 8pm ish - it's about a 6/7 minute walk to get off campus and back to a road.

Let's say I work for company A and he works for company B. One evening quite late getting ready to leave I was in the lobby and there was a woman from company C who I'd never spoken to who was obviously faffing around. I asked her if she'd lost something and she just replied actually guy from company B phyiscal description has just left and I just want to give him a head start. I asked her why and she had exactly my feeling about him but no proof at all. He might be totally normal. In which case I feel sorry for him.

My instinct isn't at all reliable in this regard although I'd still remove myself from a situation in which I felt actual danger rather that waiting for more trustworthy evidence to emerge.

I remember as a kid watching TOTP2 and seeing Jimmy saville. Didn't know who he was. But he made me feel sick and creepy vibes! Wasn't suprised years later he was a peado

For every person who was creeped out by someone who turned out to be a wrong'un, there are about 50 people who were creeped out by someone who turned out to be perfectly harmless. A lot of people got the creeps from Christopher Jefferies, and as a result the poor guy's life was wrecked when he was suspected of murdering Joanna Yeates even though he'd done literally nothing wrong.

However, it's not really about what's 'reasonable' or 'unreasonable'. You feel what you feel. Sometimes we do pick up on small signals and behaviours that indicate that there's something wrong. Sometimes, a totally normal person might just make us uncomfortable because of subconscious memories or unconscious biases associated with other people or situations that we probably aren't even aware of.

Either way, it's OK to have boundaries in place and it's OK to avoid someone you feel uncomfortable with.

I went to school with a guy who was very quiet, kept his head down and sat with a couple of other boys at lunch but wasn't really popular or bullied, just overlooked by most people I think.
I didn't get creepy pervert vibes from him but I did think he was very selfish, to the extreme that I can remember looking at him and thinking he didn't care about anyone but himself. Like I could tell he had no empathy? When I didn't really know him at all.
Anyway, he turned out to be a peadophile.

Definitely trust your gut and stay away from that person!

A friend who is a police officer told me about a case of sexual assault in a lift. When it went to court and the man was convicted more woman came forward. Using a lift was his ‘method’ of being alone with woman. All of them said, in hindsight, they immediately felt uncomfortable when they saw him/got in the lift, but when asked why they didn’t just get out or not get in and they all said they didn’t want to appear/be rude.
My police officer friend told me to always follow my gut instincts and be ‘rude’ if I needed to (he was in no way blaming the woman for not). He suggested you say, oh I’m waiting for a friend, she’s on her way down, oh I’ve forgotten my umbrella - whatever. Always, always trust your instinct.

There may be something just a tiny bit off in their behaviour that you are picking up on. Not massively noticeable, but enough for your senses to pick up on it. Rational brain then goes oh you are being silly, but I never ignore that gut reaction. I've had it a few times over the years, once ad a child with a family friend, again with a random stranger, a work colleague and a friends husband.
I just instinctively didn't feel safe around them, perhaps something predatory about them.
Nothing ever came of it that I know of, but I made sure to never me alone with those individuals and just trust my gut. Who knows what could have happened. Possibly nothing but I always trust my instincts.

I had a new work colleague and hated them on sight. Hackles rose everytime she came in for a shift.
We've now been great friends for 18 years. Sometimes, you have to give people a chance.

I had it twice. One really sticks- a man on a busy shopping street who seemed to radiate evil like a force. It was like a push away, even just passing on the street. Later that day, he shoved someone under a bus and killed them.
The second was a therapist I saw only once, there was something off and cruel about her. She turned out to be scamming money from vulnerable people under her 'care'.

Yeah. I worked in a castle restaurant and a new chef started, he was introduced by the boss and I said a jovial hello but didn't take much notice… later on as I was in alone mopping the floor he appeared at the front door trying to get in, I signalled I'd get the key hanging on a hook, he thought I'd signalled to the back door so by the time I opened the front door he had started ringing the doorbell for the private apartments and about 3 different people came down at the same time I ran to the door – we were all baffled. He wanted to come say hello to me. Followed me down to the kitchen and walked all over the floor as I mopped it. He kept eye contact with me and was smiling as he asked me lots of questions about me… I was creeped out by now. Then he asked if I'd go for a drink but I said no as I was starting work at 6am next day but also… creeped out.

Everyone loved him. And he continually asked me to hang out and I continually made excuses. I had told my sister about a bad feeling but she though I was being dramatic and he was just a nice guy who didn't know anyone.

So one weekend when my fiends and work pals (and my sister) seemed to be off island it was just me and him and I though maybe I was being harsh and got it wrong and I asked if he wanted to come over for a drink after work (what was I thinking!). He did. I made snacks and drinks and we chatted and I tried to put the niggle to the back of my mind. It got late and I hinted I was off to bed soon. He lingered so long I had to just eventually ask him to leave. At the door he asked me out and I said no… he laughed it off, threw some compliments at me and asked again, I said no. Laughed it off again and started talking about work and stuff and I was like 'goodbye!' and went to close the door and he put his foot in the door, forced it open and asked me if I was sure it was a no. That really frightened me but I somehow stayed calm and said 'no hard feelings, yeah?' and he agreed, said goodnight, blew me a kiss and wandered off. I literally threw the door closed, locked up and sagged against it!

Next day at work he was in when I started and I said hello and he ignored me, was in a raging mood and this went on from there in. Spread lies about me to other staff who believed him and generally made work hell for me. He'd put roasting hot pots in the sink when I was washing up and not tell me so I'd scald my hands, he'd look at me and throw a dish on the floor when no one else was around then blame me, he started a relationship with a friend who then ghosted me, he did it in such a way that no one would see what he was doing. To the point where my sister though I was over-reacting because all he was was nice to her and she never saw him being horrible to me – because in front of people he was so lovely to me. And I was frustrated because if I reacted badly to that it made me look childish and petty.

Early one day I was on kitchen duty and it was just him and me. I was ignoring him and making sandwiches while he was telling me I was an ugly bitch, everyone hated me, I was useless, I should kill myself etc… I walked through to the front to put the sandwiches out and there was my sister in tears. She had come to start her shift and went to the kitchen to get the keys and we hadn't seen her but she stood and listened to what he was saying to me. She was devastated that she hadn't believed me. We took it to the managers and they chose not to escalate it any further… other than give me and my sister matching shifts and days off. I worked out my last few weeks there with my sister by my side and we would just laugh at him and call him 'master baker; and other shit names to wind him up. Last I heard of him he was in jail!

Now I always listen to my instinct.

I went to school with a guy who was very quiet, kept his head down and sat with a couple of other boys at lunch but wasn't really popular or bullied, just overlooked by most people I think.
I didn't get creepy pervert vibes from him but I did think he was very selfish, to the extreme that I can remember looking at him and thinking he didn't care about anyone but himself. Like I could tell he had no empathy? When I didn't really know him at all.
Anyway, he turned out to be a peadophile.

He was probably an abused child when you knew him, most abusers were abused themselves. Some children are so badly abused at such a young age that they are incapable of forming attachments, their brain kind of shuts down their ability to have empathy or form relationships as a form of self protection. Others (sometimes for the smallest reason) are more robust and can overcome their experiences to a greater or lesser extent and can stop or reduce the cycle of abuse.

I was at school with someone who went on to murder someone, he was clearly very troubled at school but was OK if you treated him decently and didn't treat him like scum (which a lot of people did because of his troublemaker reputation). Really sad to see that happen to someone.

I had a team of builders in years ago. All young, all Eastern European so there was no particular bias for this one individual man. All coming and going, different new guys doing different things, all just say hi and crack on, all fine. One guy came into my house for the first time with the foreman and my blood ran cold. He was like walking evil, and I have no idea why, he just made me feel like I was under some kind of immediate threat. His build/skin colour/height was no different to any other of the builders. I took the foreman to one side and told him I couldn’t have that man in my house. He was puzzled but I was insistent, and he had to relent and redirect him to another job. I think of him once in a while and shudder.

It’s not one of those things where I later found out he’s a murderer. I have no idea if my instincts were right, but he scared the living daylights out of me.

me too, as a child I felt incredibly uncomfortable watching that programme. Could watch the part with the children out and about, but the scenes where they were in the studio to get the medal gave me an absolute sense of creeping dread and fear. Years later realised it was probably the body language of the children in his presence, but also he just gave off such a horrible vibe, also on Top of the Pops. I think instincts are often spot on with evil and danger.

On another note, once I met a boyfriend's colleague for the first time, and perhaps because of some micro-expression of hers, but as we shook hands, I had a very strong instant feeling of 'I don't trust you at all, you're trouble' and was right as they ended up having an affair. Another time at a party another colleague of his I never even met gave me same feeling. I told my ex she was very interested in him. 2 weeks later she came on to him big time. He asked how I could possible have known, and I said I got that feeling because she was looking at me so closely across a large crowded room she had noticed that my dress label was sticking out and mentioned it to him. So instinct reacting to different clues, some obvious, some less so.

I always trust my instincts as a teenager on a Saturday morning walking down a road a man walked towards me. I remember him making me feel uncomfortable so I crossed the road, he did the same, this happened twice more and then I turned around and ran to a nearby shop. He waited outside and then when I didn't come out moved slightly down the road still waiting. The shopkeeper kindly took me out the back way and drove me home.

A few weeks later a serial rapist was arrested in our area it was the same man. He's still in jail.

The "witch" woman who lived at the end of our street and her weird (mentally disabled) son. We kids all knew that there was something "off" about them.

Except there wasn't. It was sheer, unmitigated prejudice.

Always trust your instincts - you might be wrong but at least your true to yourself.

Yes, it did happen to me once. My boyfriend drove me to my block of apartments and I walked 3m to the entrance door, noticing that there are 2 guys walking about 30m away in my direction. There was something about them I sensed that I didn't like.
I've opened the door with the code, made sure it closed after me and heard my boyfriend driving away. I didn't go for the elevator though, nor did I take the stairs, instead I stood near the security room with my mobile in my hand, and sure enough, I've heard the entrance door open immediately and these two guys sprint inside in full speed. They've stopped when they saw me standing where I was and we stared at each other for several seconds, after which they've slowly headed towards the elevator. I was lucky that day...

You can definitely get a gut feeling but it's nothing more than an early warning that often will be wrong. You unconsciously picked up on some small signs that could have indicated danger, so your brain warns you but it's more than likely it was a one off and they are not a threat. Think of all the people you immediately like , who you may not be so keen on a few months later, our immediate gut feeling is nothing to be relied on. I think there are some true stories here mixed with some fabrications. I wish the number of posts stating a person was later convicted of rape was a true reflection of conviction rates for rape in this country.

This is clearly not at all the sort of thing other posters are talking about.

Women need to trust their instincts, not have them undermined.

A bloke who lives down the road from me - I once posted about him on here as I thought his behaviour was strange and slightly scary. He was friendly enough, seemed intelligent and had a plausible backstory but was weirdly over familiar - clearly wanted to come in despite the fact I was trying very hard to give off "we are really busy, it's Sunday lunch and I don't know you please go away" vibes.

I avoid him now and don't engage. However... I also think it's possible he's completely harmless and there's a perfectly acceptable reason why he seemed odd to me. I feel a bit guilty every time I go past his house in case I've unfairly judged him, but then I give myself permission not to be friendly to a stranger if I don't want to be. I don't want to is a valid reason.

A time I was definitely right about a gut instinct was when I thought a guy on the train was very "off"- although he didn't do or say anything - I left it to the last minute to get off the train at my stop on the basis that if it was his stop he'd get off first as he was by the doors, and sure enough he followed me. (I then went the wrong way / doubled back on myself at which point he gave himself away so I know I wasn't imagining it - had to ditch him by going into my local newsagent) then phoned the police who said I should have called them earlier / as it was happening 🧐hardly going to start fumbling with your bag and phone if you think you might be about to be mugged, but anyway.

I was sat on a train recently and a group of 3 men got on and sat down. Within their group chatting and laughing - nothing they were doing was intrusive or wrong. Chatting about mundane things.

But one of those men made me very uncomfortable- just something about him. I can’t remember what the other two even looked at but his face is burnt in my brain and still gives me chills.

No idea why, but months later it still makes me shudder.

Trust your gut - the only times I haven't I've later regretted it.
Read: 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin de Becker.