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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fever after being bitten at nursery

21 replies

Pixiedusty · 08/09/2023 04:09

DD was bitten again at nursery yesterday. This is happening more frequently than we'd like and whilst I appreciate it's very common/a phase, I'd really much rather she doesn't get bitten quite so often (obviously)...

Normally we get told about it, sign an incident form, nursery say they are working with the biter's parents etc, and we move on. But this time she is coming down with a fever. Could be coincidence, but now I'm freaking out that it is something worse (though seems no skin broken on inspection).

AIBU to be concerned that the fever is related to the bites?! We'll monitor her and will go to doctor in the morning, but wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar with their DC?

OP posts:

StellaLaBella · 08/09/2023 04:40

No broken skin? It's just a bug

sanityisamyth · 08/09/2023 04:44

If the skin isn't broken, there's no way anything has got into her system from the bite. It's just another, normal, bug doing the rounds.

CobraChicken · 08/09/2023 04:53

AIBU to be concerned that the fever is related to the bites?!

Yes, YABU. That makes no sense at all. YANBU to be pissed off about the bites, but there's no way that there's any connection to your DC's fever. They're just coming down with whatever bug is doing the rounds at their nursery this particular week.

Namechangerererererer · 08/09/2023 05:13

Even if skin was broken it take a while for the infection to develop and get to the stage of a fever. Sounds like she's had a rough day bless her

Clymene · 08/09/2023 05:15

It's a coincidence.

Nagado · 08/09/2023 06:37

Definitely a coincidence.

You only need to start worrying if any of the kids in her nursery are zombies, vampires or werewolves. And even then, only if they’d broken the skin.

LightsS0bright · 08/09/2023 06:39

Agree it’s most likely coincidence. Lots of hugs going round at the moment.

ElFupacabra · 08/09/2023 06:41

Namechangerererererer · 08/09/2023 05:13

Even if skin was broken it take a while for the infection to develop and get to the stage of a fever. Sounds like she's had a rough day bless her

This exactly. It’s just a normal nursery bug, but if the biting is increasing I would speak to the nursery as it doesn’t seem like they’re managing it well.

Original poster

Pixiedusty · 08/09/2023 07:58

Thanks all - very helpful as clearly I had gone OTT!!

Any ideas what I can do to protect DD? It feels a bit helpless as we can't seem to "do" anything - and the bites are getting harder (judging by the imprint left!!). Quite right that we should press the nursery to spell out how exactly how they are managing this situation rather than just "we are working on it" (as it's been going on for months). Seems DD is not the only one getting bitten.

OP posts:

Clymene · 08/09/2023 08:07

The nursery need to closely supervise the biter. Basically provide 121 staffing until it stops.

Coffeaddict · 08/09/2023 08:10

If the skin isn't broken its probably general nursery lurgy. Let's face it little ones are exactly known for their personal hygiene.

Treat it like you would any other bug calpol, cuddles and fluids and in sure they will bounce back in no time

newmum1976 · 08/09/2023 08:18

My DD1 was the victim of a biter. It lasted about 4/5 weeks and I was just at the point of putting in an official complaint when it all stopped. Fast forward 12 months and my DD2 was a biter. I was mortified (and very glad I hadn’t complained!!) Again it lasted 5 weeks, then thankfully ended. If this has been going on for months, I’d be getting very vocal about it. It obviously isn’t being managed properly.

PosterBoy · 08/09/2023 08:19

Rabies?

HollieHobbie · 08/09/2023 08:20

🤦🏻‍♀️

Original poster

Pixiedusty · 08/09/2023 09:52

Clymene · 08/09/2023 08:07

The nursery need to closely supervise the biter. Basically provide 121 staffing until it stops.

Do I have grounds to request this? I'm afraid they might just say well we've comply with our staffing ratio so aren't going to (or can't) do that. Although the 121 would really be ideal wouldn't it!

OP posts:

Casiotoad · 08/09/2023 10:09

Omg is this normal??? I get that this is a phase and if it happens to my kid once I would take it in my stride but regularly?! The nursery have a duty of care and are charging a lot of money to provide that! I don’t know, I just feel like a bite is a serious thing and if it’s happening regularly surely there is some failing in supervision?

I don’t think the bite probably caused the fever since no skin was broken but im not surprised you are worrying!

Honestly if my child was a regular biter (I.e. had bitten many times and it wasn’t getting better I would expect the nursery to ask me to leave as they can’t protect the other kids and they’re responsible for that?

maybe I’m being unreasonable as I’ve not been in that situation, my kid never got bitten at nursery and I don’t think he went through that phase, maybe my next one will!!

XelaM · 08/09/2023 10:15

Casiotoad · 08/09/2023 10:09

I don’t think the bite probably caused the fever since no skin was broken but im not surprised you are worrying!

maybe I’m being unreasonable as I’ve not been in that situation, my kid never got bitten at nursery and I don’t think he went through that phase, maybe my next one will!!

I agree with this!

I would not pay a fortune for my kid to get bitten regularly. Change nurseries.

My daughter never got bitten and I would pull her out if she had on a regular basis.

Original poster

Pixiedusty · 08/09/2023 10:36

I wasn't sure what is considered "acceptable" number of biting incidents (or how long it could go on for), but I think it is getting a bit much, so good to hear that this is not an unreasonable concern. I was just hoping that once she's older then they would be in separate rooms, but when I mentioned that the carer didn't say anything, which made me suspect that the biter could be around same age and will therefore be moving rooms same time as DD, so we won't be able to get away from it...

I will advocate harder and see if they have any proper action plan for addressing this. Unfortunately there's waiting lists everywhere nearby so even if I were to change nursery it won't be so easy.

OP posts:

Seashor · 08/09/2023 10:58

Nursery WILL be monitoring the biter VERY, VERY closely and having conversations with the parents. Unfortunately little children are incredibly quick. It is a phase, all be it a nightmare one.
It’s absolutely devastating for both sets of parents, nursery staff and the bitten children.

x2boys · 08/09/2023 11:02

Pixiedusty · 08/09/2023 09:52

Do I have grounds to request this? I'm afraid they might just say well we've comply with our staffing ratio so aren't going to (or can't) do that. Although the 121 would really be ideal wouldn't it!

Show quote history

No you can't request that but you should be asking them what they are doing ti.safe guard your daughter .

Clymene · 08/09/2023 11:18

No you can't request that the biter has one to one but I would ask for a meeting with nursery manager and take a list of all the times your DD has been bitten. Going on for months is not okay. While small children can be quick they need to safeguard your daughter and other children affected.

I do feel for the biter's parents too. I've not had a biter but I know people who have and it's awful for them too.

Other children won't want to play with the biter if they don't get this under control.

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