To think that these women are living in blissful ignorance ?

[justbrowsingagain]

I've just have a scroll on insta out of sheer boredom and am thinking about some of these WAGs, international and otherwise.
In the case of the women I follow, they're stunningly beautiful , intelligent, educated , professional and successful women but it's well known generally , where I live , that some of their husbands and partners are well known for drug use , cheating, questionable alpha male nonsense behaviour when out and abroad.
Now the country I'm in is a small country ... a village some would say , where you can almost make a connection with everyone you meet.
These aren't rumours. Plenty of photos, voice notes, videos and similar experiences circulate regularly.

Do you think that their OHs know what they're up to and choose to ignore or are they blissfully unaware?
Genuine question.

Rock wives are the same. It’s what you sign up for.
I think Sharon Osbourne has spoken about it honestly?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/3303215-i-m-a-footballer-s-wife-ask-me-anything

For some reason this was on my phone, but not on the app. Hope it works!

Rugby wags are scrummies...

Plus pro rugby players are not paid anything like the amounts that footballers are. I mean, it’s more money than they could make in a regular job but not the ridiculous amounts footballers are paid.

Yes. Though I must say my experience of premier league footballers (again, via DH) was that the majority also led very dull, quiet lives during the season — they’re so thoroughly assessed physically in every way at every training session that they can’t really drink, do drugs, stay out late etc, they’re strongly encouraged to marry young to ‘settle them down’, and they’re finished for the day by lunchtime. The ones I knew picked up their kids from school, went home and spent vast amounts of time either working out or playing computer games. Even in the summers if they put on more than a certain amount of weight ( I mean, a kg or so), they had to come back to pre-season training early, so they tended to have to be careful.

I mean, no one is weeping for them, but it was pretty routine-bound.

I know a handful of former international rugby players and none of them, if from what I know of their team mates, sound anything like the people you describe. Maybe it varies country to country though but certainly none of them are into drugs. I don’t doubt there are cheaters among them, as there are among everyone, but I’ve never known anyone be totally blatant about it. These are guys who earned relatively decent money for maybe a decade, they’re not earning millions. The beautiful women who want to marry an idiot for the lifestyle go for footballers, not rugby players.

No problem! 😊

I wouldn’t describe myself as poly, no. And ‘turning a blind eye’ has connotations of being aware but pretending not to be. That’s not my situation at all. I’m reasonably sure that my husband isn’t sleeping with anyone else, but I wouldn’t care if he were. I love him very much, but I just don’t feel sexual jealousy in that way - I never have. I’d be devastated if he were having an actual affair (with feelings and emotions), but not a casual sexual encounter.

Sex is fun, people are attractive and I can completely understand him meeting someone and wanting to sleep with them. I wouldn’t really see that as anything to do with me.

I often read posts on here about people’s very real, very visceral reactions to being cheated on and - while I have every sympathy, as their pain is clearly very real - I’ve never really understood it.

He feels similarly. Although, as I have absolutely no desire to sleep with anyone else, the point is moot.

That is really beyond the norm.

Possibly. Whether or not something is the norm doesn’t change how I feel, however.

LOL of course they know. It comes with the territory. Plenty of men cheat anyway, so why not go for the one who will provide a very nice lifestyle so you never have to work? I personally wouldn't want it, but I understand why people do.

I can understand this and completely respect it. I also feel the definition of cheating varies from person to person. Kissing is not cheating imo. A casual encounter isn’t a deal breaker. Then again I’ve been with DH for many years and we discuss these things. That said, I’ve been faithful and I believe so has he.

You may not have sexual jealousy and sex is fun but people who spend intimate time with each other can also fall in love. So whilst your partner may have a string of lovers, there is a risk the next one will be The One for him, especially if he is having a mid life crisis.

Then the carefully constructed domestic scene based on turning a blind eye comes crashing down. Let's hope he is an arsehole and never does that.

Totally agree. I think cheating is whatever a couple agrees it is (or isn’t).

I don’t think that’s particularly likely, but thank you for your concern.

Of course, so said the Titanic. I could take your attitude and confidence that it would never happen but you know you are playing with fire. Men get old and jaded and a few flattering words from a young admiring body makes them feel 10 feet tall again. Cunt struck is the technical term. Do play the cool girl. It sounds great for him.

I think you’re oddly worked up about someone else’s marriage and could do with calming down considerably.

How do you know these women aren’t doing the same, but without having to work for a living?

You are so right. Have calmed right down.

Bless. I can help you here.

The subject of the thread is the behaviour of a group of men known to the OP and her question is around whether or not their female partners are aware of it.

If they are, why do they stay? What’s in it for them etc etc etc.

On this occasion, the discussion is about men, not women. Froth away if you must but try not to become hysterical on a thread which isn’t meant for you.

I suspect it creeps up on you, particularly where the husband's business is shady.

Woman finds rich successful man with appropriate cover story, discovers that there might be more going on, but its convenient to ignore, by the time she discovers the extent of it, there are children to consider and their professional success is now linked to their husband, so they become complicit.

I often think of Melania Trump. She was demonised throughout Trump's presidency, yet clearly expressed disdain - even disgust - for him, but if she wanted to leave, how the fuck could she. Its not like she could just pack a bag and go stay in a motel while she worked out next steps.

Humans will do a lot of things for money.... including work!

I think you’re spectacularly naive if you think these women don’t know what their husbands are up to & are somehow being duped or desperately hoping the man will change etc.

These women know exactly what they’re getting into from the outset & I’d even go as far as to say their men playing away (excuse the pun) even suits some of them rather than it just being something they have to put up.

Thank you for being so open and satisfying my nosiness. 🙂

I’m right at the other end of the spectrum and so, although I don’t really understand your feelings on it (again, totally without judgement, just coming from a different viewpoint) I find your view really interesting. Thanks again.

@Nagado No worries at all. My pleasure! 😊

Like usually attracts like.