Am I overreacting?

[aquarius75]

My 15 month old started nursery this week and she was extremely upset at drop off which I expected. I called the nursery an hour later to check if she had settled, and could hear her screaming in the background. I felt awful that she was still so upset an hour after I had dropped her off, but had to put it to the back of my mind as I was at work.

I checked my phone a few hours later, expecting to see updates on the app that the nursery uses, but there was nothing there. Throughout the day, I continued to check the app and there were no updates. I even sent a message on there, which was not responded to. I ended up picking DD up early, and she came out with a really hoarse voice, which I assume was from crying so much.

Am I expecting too much from the nursery? I would have thought that as it was her first day, they would have made more of an effort to update me, especially as she was so unsettled. I'm a first time mum and was already feeling anxious about leaving her all day but this has just made me feel worse!

Who has time to update apps??

Surely the staff were with kids all day?

So what is the point in having the app if they're not going to put anything on there?

But of she was upset would it have helped them sending updates that she was unsettled or upset?

No idea! Maybe good intentions but unless they employ someone for that specific role then I'd expect them to be caring for the kids

Has she had any settling in sessions before the full day?

ours mostly updated the app at the end of the day & often not every day I don’t think

Would it have been helpful to know she was still screaming the place down?

In three years of nursery, we never had an update on the app during the day. It was always done at the end of the day or early the next day in some cases.

How did she cope during her settling in days?

I think it's unlikely they would have chance to update the apps of all children.

my son’s old nursery only updated the app with “wow” moments or termly reports. the
his current nursery doesn’t have an app. It distracts from actually caring for the children.
If a child is really unsettled they will call.

This is normal first time nursery anxiety for both of you. It will get better. Did she have any settling in sessions?

my nursery does update during the day to be fair, not every day though and it is more common now they are in the older rooms - toddlers and preschool.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable because it’s a tough experience for parents and of course we are dealing with the guilt and the worry, it’s hard when they first go! However, the more experience you get with nursery you’ll begin how they operate. Basically they only call if there’s a problem and they give a full update on handover.

If you were really concerned you could have rang them?

It’s hard OP, I get it, a lot of us have been there but if the nursery is a good one and you feel generally comfortable with them then there’s nothing to worry about. She’ll settle in time, next time just be proactive and ring them!

My DSs nursery called me on his 2nd day to say he wasn’t settling down and still crying after an hour, they suggested I collect him. He was 3 at the time.

I appreciated it as I was able to collect him but if I’d had been working it would’ve just upset me more.