To ask would’ve made your life easier after major surgery?

Notsuretoputit · 2023-09-07T14:59:04+00:00

I know I’m not, but unashamedly posting for traffic. After three horrific weeks and some awful complications my DM is finally coming home after both open and then keyhole heart surgery. I wondered what might her life easier and thought perhaps those who’ve been through it might have some ideas? I’m going to the shops now to try and find a non-slip mat and chair for the shower, so anything else that practically makes life easier.

MatildaTheCat · 07/09/2023 16:40

Does she have someone to stay with her for the first few weeks at least? After that kind of surgery she will need help with almost everything. The Occupational therapy department may be able to advise and loan equipment.

As well as practical support do be prepared for some emotional distress as well.

I hope it goes well for you and her and she’s soon on the road to recovery.

(friend of DH had open heart surgery 3.5 months ago- reasonably fit late 50s and it’s been slow and hard but he’s on the mend now.)

Mossstitch · 07/09/2023 16:42

@Notsuretoputit if you ask to speak to the occupational therapist covering the ward they will be able to get you the equipment for free like the shower seat. Probably not a non slip mat though that would be self purchase in my area anyway💐

DearNora · 07/09/2023 16:43

Is someone staying over?
Someone to do the household chores/food shopping
Meals prepared

RocketPanda · 07/09/2023 16:50

Front buttoning pyjamas, a size bigger than she normally wears on top if you can get them separate and lots of them.
Water bottles with a straw.
A breastfeeding pillow, those giant V ones. Sitting with your arms resting on one ( so they are resting higher than normal) is very relaxing after the bruising and pain of heart surgery.
Fibre rich meals for easy digestion.

I've had a few surgeries.

Original poster

Notsuretoputit · 07/09/2023 16:55

MatildaTheCat · 07/09/2023 16:40

Does she have someone to stay with her for the first few weeks at least? After that kind of surgery she will need help with almost everything. The Occupational therapy department may be able to advise and loan equipment.

As well as practical support do be prepared for some emotional distress as well.

I hope it goes well for you and her and she’s soon on the road to recovery.

(friend of DH had open heart surgery 3.5 months ago- reasonably fit late 50s and it’s been slow and hard but he’s on the mend now.)

Yes, my Dad lives with her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Notsuretoputit · 07/09/2023 16:55

Mossstitch · 07/09/2023 16:42

@Notsuretoputit if you ask to speak to the occupational therapist covering the ward they will be able to get you the equipment for free like the shower seat. Probably not a non slip mat though that would be self purchase in my area anyway💐

Thank you, not sure how to do that but will ask her if she’s been given details.

OP posts:

Original poster

Notsuretoputit · 07/09/2023 16:56

DearNora · 07/09/2023 16:43

Is someone staying over?
Someone to do the household chores/food shopping
Meals prepared

Yes, my Dad lives there too.

OP posts:

Original poster

Notsuretoputit · 07/09/2023 16:56

RocketPanda · 07/09/2023 16:50

Front buttoning pyjamas, a size bigger than she normally wears on top if you can get them separate and lots of them.
Water bottles with a straw.
A breastfeeding pillow, those giant V ones. Sitting with your arms resting on one ( so they are resting higher than normal) is very relaxing after the bruising and pain of heart surgery.
Fibre rich meals for easy digestion.

I've had a few surgeries.

That’s really helpful, thank you.

OP posts:

Ponderingwindow · 07/09/2023 17:49

Food that is easy to eat without silverware. Lots of little bite size things you can eat in repose.

comfortable stretchy clothes

slide on slippers

a little laptop style table for the sofa or favorite chair. The kind you can slide close to you.

Minfilia · 07/09/2023 17:55

Arnica tablets helped me with bruising and swelling but I guess you’d have to make sure there were no adverse interactions with her heart or medication.

I also found out the hard way I was allergic to codeine so check for any adverse reactions!

Decent bed based entertainment - books, iPad, etc.

Help with shopping and meal prep - my friend found this the single biggest help after a radical hysterectomy.

Catopia · 07/09/2023 19:37

Get them set up for supermarket deliveries so that they don't need to worry about it.

Maybe make up a batch of spag bol/lasagna/shepherds pie/curry/casserole type meals, portion it out and stick it in their freezer so have some meals ready can just microwave.

Cupboard/fridge with some food can have even when don't really feel like eating, like soup, cheese and crackers - food where can just have a bit.

Maybe some things to do - an audible account or netflix (or getting a paper delivered even so they can sit and do the crossword together or whatever) - so has something to do whilst in bed or on the sofa.... some wool if she's a knitter for when she's a bit stronger but not fully up and about.

Maybe something like a water pitcher or even a spare kettle and a fruit/snack bowl for next to the bed or sofa, so don't have to keep getting up or getting someone to help just to get a drink.

Given the weather, I would say a fan. Being in bed or inside all day when it's super hot and not being able to do things to cool yourself down regularly like take cold showers etc. may make her feel more comfortable. Maybe a flat sheet and/or thin blanket so can snuggle in bed a bit without overheating.

PercyPhelps · 07/09/2023 19:45

An extra long phone charger was fantastic for the hospital and when I got home.
Fresh food is largely unavailable in hospital so apples, salad, grapes.
A heated blanket.

Original poster

Notsuretoputit · 07/09/2023 22:16

Catopia · 07/09/2023 19:37

Get them set up for supermarket deliveries so that they don't need to worry about it.

Maybe make up a batch of spag bol/lasagna/shepherds pie/curry/casserole type meals, portion it out and stick it in their freezer so have some meals ready can just microwave.

Cupboard/fridge with some food can have even when don't really feel like eating, like soup, cheese and crackers - food where can just have a bit.

Maybe some things to do - an audible account or netflix (or getting a paper delivered even so they can sit and do the crossword together or whatever) - so has something to do whilst in bed or on the sofa.... some wool if she's a knitter for when she's a bit stronger but not fully up and about.

Maybe something like a water pitcher or even a spare kettle and a fruit/snack bowl for next to the bed or sofa, so don't have to keep getting up or getting someone to help just to get a drink.

Given the weather, I would say a fan. Being in bed or inside all day when it's super hot and not being able to do things to cool yourself down regularly like take cold showers etc. may make her feel more comfortable. Maybe a flat sheet and/or thin blanket so can snuggle in bed a bit without overheating.

Edited

A fan! Excellent idea. I will get her one. They’re only in their early/mid 60s so my dad should be able to handle most of that but really appreciate the response.

OP posts:

LivStanshall · 07/09/2023 22:33

It depends on how she is but occupational therapy can bring what she needs and you can ask for an assessment in hospital. They are generally very quick to send things. If she has had surgery on her chest and it is painful, a rail that goes under the bed and has a bit that comes up that provides a support for her to pull herself up with might help. OT can arrange this. If she doesn’t get it arranged in hospital you can ring the council and ask them to send items or ask for an assessment.

Sometimes help at home with getting up/washing/dressing can be provided via the hospital for a period of time. Again ask the nurses if she can be assessed for this if she needs it. It can be up to six weeks but usually they offer for less. If arranged via the hospital I don’t think you have to pay, if via the council you do but there might be some funding for this and it is worth checking.

I also second the V shaped pillow and a few meals in the fridge or freezer. Perhaps rearrange her bedside table and sitting room so she has a surface to keep things at hand. If she has difficulty getting out of a chair, OT can provide chair raisers and also something that goes over the loo to raise it up. This should all be arranged from hospital if she needs it. Best to take what is offered and you can send anything back she finds she doesn’t need.

Best of luck!

Lavender14 · 07/09/2023 23:22

Prepped meals for the freezer
Someone to offer to do a bit of housework/specific tasks
Help looking after their pet if they have one eg dog walking
Something to lean on getting in and out of the bath and off the loo
A bedside caddy with book/ snacks/ water/ headphones/ battery pack/tissues / nice handcream etc
Grocery shopping
Lifts to appointments in a car that's higher up and easy to get in and out of
Help dressing.

Someone got me a light fleecy dressing gown before my c section and I lived in it for the first few weeks because it was snuggly and so soft but not too heavy or warm. A similar blanket to keep on the bed might be nice as well.
I'm also thinking some really soft nursing style bras might be more comfortable if she's had surgery in that area.

Phoning to chat as a wee distraction is nice because it feels social without having to host or see someone if you don't feel up to it.

Lilyhatesjaz · 07/09/2023 23:37

Knickers which are a good bit bigger than normal, as depending where the scar is the elastic can be really uncomfortable.

maddening · 07/09/2023 23:43

When j was terribly ill end of last year a seat for the shower was necessary. I ended up sleeping on the recliner as I could not lie flat comfortably and also the recliner itself helped me sit up- a bed that has automatic sitting etc would have been bliss.

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 07/09/2023 23:51

I've not long had surgery and my most useful items were

Grabbers - like litter picker things. They were amazing for picking stuff up that I'd dropped or reaching when I was sore
Snack food so I could eat small amounts rather than a large meal
Insulated coffee mug as I'd regularly dose off before I'd finished my drink
iPad clamp attached to my bed so I didn't have to hold my iPad up

Famousinlove · 08/09/2023 00:00

Bottles of water and snacks within reaching distance so she doesn't have to keep asking for it
Will she be taking regular medication? Maybe one of those mon-sun pill boxes so she knows where she's up to and doesn't miss any or take too much

kizzywizz · 08/09/2023 12:16

I had ohs last july, i'm rather big in the chest dept. My surgeon told me to wear a bra one size smaller than usual as it helps , I needed the tightness to feel 'held together' and still wear a tighter bra today and also now sleep in a bra again to help with the feeling of being held together.

ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 08/09/2023 12:22

Some kind of stool for the shower. Not to sit on, but to keep the shampoo etc on, so that I did t have to lift my arms up high to get them off the shelf. I would have struggled to bend down and get up to get them on and off the shower tray.

Chargers near wherever she is sitting/laying with extra long cables so that she doesn’t have to get up.

A strong little light that clips onto a book so that she can read if she wakes up in the night without putting a lamp on and waking your dad.

ideally, not having to go up and down stairs.

ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 08/09/2023 12:22

In this heat, the best fan you can afford.

Edwardandtubbs · 08/09/2023 12:30

Something interesting to look at out of a window or in the house once she is starting to be up and about. You’re encouraged to walk around a bit asap but at first it won’t be far…so something to catch her attention for a bit is great. It means those first little walks around aren’t just going to the loo and back. And then a bit later if they have a garden/outside space make sure she can safely walk around it a little way.

Whatsherusername · 08/09/2023 12:39

Keeping on top of the pain killers! A bit different as my boy was 4 when he had open heart surgery (he is a strapping 24 year old now) but he was much more comfortable for the first 6 weeks or so if he took painkillers regularly even if he wasnt in pain before the pain came back. Also fruit and high fibre diet to ward of constipation if taking opiate based pain relief