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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have told DD(7) that the Easter Bunny isn't real?

100 replies

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 08:08

Talking about Easter this morning to DP explaining that DD is only off for Good Friday and Easter Monday then half term is the week after so DD says to DS(3) "I won't be home when you get to eat chocolate eggs".

I tell DD, yes she will, but it's not half term and anyway doesn't she know what Easter is about, cue the Jesus talk.

"But what about the Easter Bunny? They'll bring us eggs won't they?"
So I tell her no, EB isn't real, it was made up by peopel who want to make money out of us by selling Easter Eggs, it's not like Jesus was eating maltesers on the cross and that she can have one fairtrade Easter Egg (lets hope I can find one!) from us because we love her.

Didn't think much of telling her the truth til I saw DP's 'look' though that might have been the fact that I was giving the poor girla 'talk' on Fairtrade at 7:30am

OP posts:

musicgirl · 03/03/2008 11:00

I would hate to have parents who are Guardian readers. How selfish are you lot, kids will have the rest of their lives to be depressed about the state of the world but only a few years of innocence where they can just enjoy life and believe in fairly tales, Santa and the Easter bunny. Once that time has gone it's gone for life. But at least you get to feel smug that your "right" hey?

TinkerbellesMum · 03/03/2008 11:00

Just read the thread properly, so I want to add that no I don't think it was unreasonable to tell her there isn't such a thing, as long as she knows not to tell the kids that believe.

Original poster

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 11:00

Lol, I suppose the Easter Bunny could have bought fairtrade eggs!
The fairtrade convo was more as a follow on from the explanation of it not being real tbh.

OP posts:

Original poster

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 11:03

Musicgirl, I don't read the Guardian!
And I don't see how not lying to my child about a fictional bunny that gives her chocolate is selfish.
Also she isn't depressed about the state of the world! She just prefers to buy things that people get paid for rather than feed the pockets of fat cats.
She learnt about Jamie Olivers chickens at school FGS and asks me if the chicken is free range, she isn't a baby and understanding IMO is a good thing.

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 03/03/2008 11:04

I agree with muscigirl

Original poster

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 11:07

Oh FGS, my children have fun, they are happy, I just don't see why they should be brainwashed by advertising or be sheltered from the truth.

What do you say comic relief is for? To give some foreign people a bit more food?

What about children in need? is that for someone who lost their favourite teddy?

When a child is old enough to ask questions they should be answered openly and honestly, it takes nothing away from them and having an imagination and playing 'pretend' is no less fun because you know it isn't real!

OP posts:

musicgirl · 03/03/2008 11:13

I think you're brainwashing them with your beliefs. As for Comic Relief etc why would I let my child watch that? It's for adults. I think your just so keen to start preaching your not allowing your kids to enjoy not having to worry about crap they can't change and just have a childhood.

TrinityRhino · 03/03/2008 11:14

hear hear musicgirl

bookwormmum · 03/03/2008 11:15

I don't think it was unreasonable at all. if you dd asked, then it's reasonable to tell her.

Children should be told the truth in appropriate bite-sized pieces as and when they ask. I'm getting a lot of casual questions about babies and reproduction from my dd(7) - now I'd rather answer questions about the Easter Bunny than address those! It's got to be done though.

seeker · 03/03/2008 11:16

I'm a Guardian reader!

We have the Easter Bunny. I don't think for a moment my children actually believe in him, but we have huge fun - dp and I set up a big easter egg hunt with lots of clues written is special Easter Bunny writing (it's the same as the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas's writing!).All these magical rituals are part of the glue of family life - you don't have to literally believe in any of them to share in the magic.

And we ALWAYS buy fair trade chocolate and did before it was fashionable (not saying that anyone on here is doing it for fashion reasons - I was thinking about the band-wagon leaping celebrities and pop stars!)

Original poster

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 11:18

So they don't raise money at school for children in need?
I didn't say let your children watch it but it's not something they're going to miss really is it?
It's a big thing in schools.

OP posts:

Original poster

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 11:19

I'm brainwashing her with my beliefs by telling her the truth?

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diplodocus · 03/03/2008 11:20

Am completely with VS on this one. I'm still reeling from the excesses of Xmas. Who the hell is the Easter bunny, and where did he come from? Certainly wasn't about when I was a kid, and surely it's not much of a tradition if it's that recent? My kids are too young to discuss world issues with (2 and 4 months) but when they are older I will certainly sensitively discuss with them (without making them feel guilty)how our choices affect other people living in very different circumstances. Doesn't have to be preachy, and certainly doesn't mean they won't have fun FGS.
BTW, can anyone tell me where I can find a nice children's fair trade easter eggs?

spaghettoblaster · 03/03/2008 11:20

I think you're being very reasonable to dispel the commerciality of a religious event - however think you're being very unreasonable to assume everyone here is going to share your belief.

Are you counting the for/against and if the majority thinks you're an evil person, how are you going to make it up to DD?

seeker · 03/03/2008 11:21

Try the Coo-op, diplodocus. An I am older than anyone else on mumsnet (amar fro I think, two other people)and we had the easter rabbit, so he's been around a while!

ska · 03/03/2008 11:22

hmm i 'm not sure. i hugely resent the fact that my dh told my dd that father christmas was a figment. i think it has taken some of the magic away for her (abnd for me tbh as she is my only - have 2 dsc), she would like to be caugt up in it so we read the tolkien letters and watch miracle on 34th street i think you should take it step by step judging it on the individual. (and i am a guardian reading organic fairtrade no water bottles peron who isn't a christian or indeed anything...omg i am a stereotype...)

seeker · 03/03/2008 11:23

You're not a stereotype, ska - you're me!

ska · 03/03/2008 11:23

the easter bunny has to be one of those usa imports we didn't have hm (and i am an almost ancient about to be 50 year old)like trick or treating

wannaBe · 03/03/2008 11:23

nestle chocolate rocks.

Don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with not doing the easter bunny, (my ds has asked if he can have an easter bunny, meaning he wants a rabbit for easter ), but I think the whole "only get one fair trade egg" thing is smug and sanctimonius and 7 year olds just don't need to be expostd to that just yet.

we will do an easter egg hunt, I won't go ott on chocolate but mostly because I'll end up eating most of it and that just won't do my diet any good but im certainly not about to start preaching fair trade to my 5 yo.

oh and...

nestle chocolate rocks.

Original poster

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 11:23

I've already looked into where the Easter Bunny came from and shall be explaining it all to DD tonight spaghettoblaster, I don't think I have to make anything up to her because she is still getting an egg, just without it coming from the bunny.

diplodocus apaprently the co-op and oxfam will have some I googled earlier.
I think franny(?) named somewhere earlier too.

OP posts:

seeker · 03/03/2008 11:24

And we still have the magic - it doesn't go just because they don't really believe in the stories any more!

ska · 03/03/2008 11:24

at last a mumsnet soulmate! how old are you?

diplodocus · 03/03/2008 11:25

Thanks, seeker - maybe he just never made it to Croydon (don't blame him TBH!).

musicgirl · 03/03/2008 11:25

Seeker - you're forgiven for being a Guardian reader, the Easter egg hunt will I be be one of your kids favourite memories when they are adults.

I'm not against fairtrade chocolate just the horrible lecture about the woes of the world that some parents accompany it with.

seeker · 03/03/2008 11:26

No, honestly, we had the easter rabbit when I was little. And that was a VERY long time ago. My parents were Australian, maybe it was a Colonial(!) thing? Can't see the Aussies embracing a chocolate giving rabbit thought

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