To think the social services have already made up their minds?

[Anon171880]

My 27 year old sister has children who were taken from her care. Eldest who is 9 is currently in care of paternal aunt. Youngest two are in foster care.
All started from her getting cancer a couple of years ago. She had extensive treatment but needed a stem cell as she relapsed. Had to spend almost a month in hospital for the stem cell then was unwell a lot so had to put youngest two in temporary foster care. She was in and out of hospital, always getting Ill and after everything she had been through she started drinking more.
Youngest were already in foster care anyway but SS recently took 9 year old and gave her to her dad's sister. She's so miserable there, even though they insist she's doing well. She's always upset when her cousins see her at school, she says she can't even cry when she's at her aunt's because she gets into trouble. This auntie only ever saw her once in a blue moon so they weren't close. I've just had an assessment to have her with me and should find out tomorrow if I passed but even HV thinks they have already made up their mind.
I have 4 children already but used to have my niece and sister staying with me temporarily before. We are a really close family and she's used to being here and around her cousins. She has said she wants to stay with me but I just feel like they have already made up their minds and I'm bound to fail.

What’s the reason for supervised contact, are they completing a parenting assessment or have there been concerns about the safety and well-being of the children? Social work would usually look to place children with family members before foster care and if they’re talking about the younger children being adopted it suggests there’s more to what’s happened than your sister needing to recover from illness because adoption is only considered if there’s no chance of the parent being able to care for the children, it’s not a natural consequence of kids being in foster care.

If the SW is recently qualified they've still been through 1-3yr of very rigorous training and will be being closely supervised by a more experienced SW. Trying to discredit a qualified professional because their dispassionate professional assessment differs from yours says quite a lot about your attitude, which perhaps has been picked up on?

You have four children already, they may have concerns about you being able to provide the right level of care to a traumatised child when you're already spread so thin. She absolutely shouldn't be expected to 'slip right in' and make no difference. You're vastly underestimating her needs or her level of potential trauma. Even if you were able to take care of her properly, they may well have reason to believe she needs to live within a family where she wouldn't have four other ready-made siblings. Or they are taking into consideration the impact on your four children of having a traumatised nine year old come and move in. Do you have a huge house to cope with five kids? Enough income? And time?

I think this is really hard for you as you're looking at this from the perspective of an auntie/sister and not from the perspective of someone trained in safeguarding/childhood trauma. It's borne out of love and a desire to help. Just be aware you won't be seeing the bigger picture or have access to all of the info social services do. Your sister might be telling you a very different story to the truth.

@WandaWonder @Jellycatspyjamas I would guess the drinking sadly may have changed the legal situation.

I’m struggling with the timeline personally, but it sounds like one year old twins who no one could reasonably take on at the time, and whose foster parents are being considered for adoption, while the mum is progressing well with not drinking. Very sad situation if so. It’s hard to completely understand for me for the older child to be honest.

Sorry may be wrong about current age of twins, I’m lost in the timeline.
If they were placed under 1 as it seems from OPs posts, it seems it has reached adoption considerations now.
If your sister is truly better and teetotal OP, a solicitor might be a good move.

Wishing you the best with the eldest

Yes this has all happened. They told her they needed to do this because she wasn't ready to get the kids back. The reason for this was of course her health was still really poor, she had to move home due as well due to her having the twins and got a new house just after coming out of hospital for her stem cell. The house needed a lot of work doing to it which of course she couldn't do at the time so it was taking longer than it should have. As said previously, SS expected her to be back to full health after the stem cell like it was a magic cure which of course it was not. Her consultant explained how it was going to take her a while till she was well again. So she couldn't have the twins back straight away. So they said as her home wasn't ready she didn't have a home for the kids and they needed to apply for the care order so that they could keep them in foster care for longer. Also her drinking was an issue.

How long ago was this ? How old are the youngest now ?

Her drinking is the problem but as I said she has been sober. She's just been to see her solicitor today and they have agreed to give her the alcohol monitor which if she shows she's sober for 6 months then she's got a chance at getting her eldest back but the twins will be a bit more difficult. They said because of their age they wouldn't continue with foster care they would like at adoption.

OP, you mention paternal relations but where are the kids' father(s)?

How old are the twins now? How long has your sister been sober for?

So they said as her home wasn't ready she didn't have a home for the kids and they needed to apply for the care order so that they could keep them in foster care for longer. Also her drinking was an issue.

If the children were placed voluntarily with social work there would be no need for a care order at all - children can stay on a voluntary order for as long as is needed. There would only be grounds for a care order if your sister withdrew consent for foster care and social work had significant concerns about her ability to parent them safely. If they (your sister and social work) agreed that she just needed time to get her house in order they’d simply continue the voluntary arrangement until the house was ready.

They would only consider adoption if they were as sure as they could be that your sister wouldn’t be in a position to parent them safely in the medium to long term.

Her drinking is the problem but as I said she has been sober.

I suspect her drinking is a much bigger issue than you’re indicating. Parental alcohol use has at least as much, if not more, negative impact on children as drug use.

@Jellycatspyjamas yes of course but I can assure you that her eldest being taken away from everyone she really knows is having an even bigger impact. And also she has stopped drinking. Anyway she has been in court today and could get the eldest back in 60 days and the social worker has also changed her tune. So it is looking positive.

They care order was based around her not having her home completed so nowhere for the children to stay and her drinking.

@MoroccoMole they just turned 2 recently and a few months now

Twins father is trying to get joint custody with my sister. Eldest daughters father is now on the scene after being absent for many years due to getting into a new relationship and getting married then having a new child. He binned his daughter off when he got married.

@WandaWonder not at all but I do believe they have already made their decisions. HV also thought this so not just me. I want my niece to be as comfortable as she can be whilst we find out whether she can go back to her mum or not. I want her to be with family who she is fully comfortable with to express herself and her emotions.