Sorry, this will include yet another little whine about my bleeding bum but in all seriousness I don’t know how I am physically coping with life right now and I could really do with some advice.
I am still in an inflammatory bowel disease flare, with constant heavy bleeding from my bum and clots. Still no follow up letter from the consultant re: camera in my small bowel.
My health feels like it is getting worse, I’m getting to the point where my body is tired and I cannot walk for too long without needing to sit down. Headaches constantly and I just have zero physical energy, but my body feels broken.
When I last went to A&E I waited until 6am for them to tell me there’s nothing more they can do until I have this scan and to follow up with GP. GP cannot see me until end of September, I have explained how I am feeling multiple times but the receptionist has said emergency appointments are for those that are life-threatening and if I’ve been in a flare for a while I can hold out, but if I needed an appointment I could call 111 but they would have to write a report as to why I NEED to urgently see a GP. I have explained that 111 will not do this because they advise A&E for rectal bleeding, even the manager at the surgery is refusing to see me until the end of the month.
to top it off I’ve got PCOS and am pre-diabetic, so add that to the mix..
I’m genuinely scared at the moment.
It’s not just this, but my 3 year old is really struggling, non-verbal and delayed developmentally (measuring around 1.5 years old), he is autistic and is having meltdowns constantly, he hits himself in the head constantly and he won’t sleep, we have so many professionals involved who are aware of this - paediatrician, speech and language, portage, health visitor - yet everyone has said we’re already doing everything right and they don’t suggest anything else so it’s just a case of trying our best with distractions and calming him down.
I’m so worried about both my health and my child, and to top it all off I run my own business and do have staff to help, but I’m struggling to keep up with my duties and am so overwhelmed, this time of year is always busy for us and I’m dreading it, I am losing all mental energy and physical energy, I am constantly apologising for mistakes right now which isn’t a good look, but all I can think about right now is how much I want my son to be ok and to focus on being there for all of the support he needs and to BE his support whilst feeling like my body is giving up on me.
this is the most outing post I will ever write but honestly I needed to vent, I’ve been sat downstairs in silence for an hour trying to summon the energy to finish today’s work but i just can’t.