Am I overcompensating?

[undermine]

I’m facing ageism at work - can post details but conscious of making my post too long and putting people off responding. I’m 27, in a government department at senior level. Some people don’t take me seriously.

I have only spoken to my team virtually and haven’t met them in person. When I do, AIBU to dress in a certain way to be taken more seriously perhaps? I think I need to not look fashionable, not “pretty” and not in line with any negative assumption. I’m probably going to rule out any dress or skirt for example. Probably go tailored and not oversized, materials that look more expensive? Or do I just wear what I want and not feel like I should buy new?

In what ways do these people not take you seriously? Are there issues you can address with them individually and specifically?

"Hi Bob, I've noticed that when I'm speaking on teams you are inattentive and have a tendency to interrupt to repeat my words, mansplaining me. I'd like to have a conversation about this, it can't continue"

Being direct and assertive is going to earn you more respect than a new wardrobe

Holding your own and proving you have the knowledge and ideas to hold the post is far more important than what you wear.

I’m 27, in a government department at senior level.

Perhaps you have senior in your role title but you won't be senior in the workplace. It isn't ageism to acknowledge that you have fairly limited experienced.

The solution to being taken seriously is through performance, dressing "not pretty" is not, you're being ridiculous.

Well, your frankly mad idea that a new wardrobe will combat people not taking you seriously because of your age suggests considerable inexperience.

Also, I do a lot of meetings on Teams, and you can see virtually nothing of what the person is wearing. What a weird ‘solution’. Depending on how your colleagues are responding to you, you need to address it directly.

What grade is "senior" and how long have you been in the role?

Who is not taking you seriously - is it your down line or your upward management chain?

I'm also in a govt department and have had experience of this. In simpler terms, you were given the job for a reason and presumably that is because you have the skills, experience and capability to do the role.

Dressing in a suit won't help!

I don’t think you’re being ridiculous ^ but I do think you need to tackle the ageism on its head, and prove your worth like in any other role. What you wear conveys a message of course it does, and if you feel stronger wearing something particular then do it.

Tricky without details

You will tackle it better by your behaviour than appearance

Dress in a way that is consistent with the organisation - that's not agism it's about showing you belong to that tribe

Make sure you listen to anyone with more experience even if you are senior to them - if you want respect show respect

Find someone who you can talk to , someone older who can see what is happening - I suffered from sexism and found that having a couple of guys who could stand up and call it out was more effective than anything I did

She can be senior in the sense of having a lot of line reports or decision making power for example. Seniority =/= experience and people thinking they are the same is probably the issue OP is dealing with.

If you are senior and don't have experience it's very easy to repeat mistakes from the past

If you are senior and don't have experience it really does help to listen to experience

It's about showing and then earning respect rather than expecting as a result of your job title

Actually I suspect older people are much more likely to have that attitude as they will have seen a lot of people come and go and know it's actions not words that matter

i think this is a silly idea. You will gain respect with your actions not looks. Are there things you are saying that does not work in line with your role? Are you indecisive? Do you take peoples opinions on board? Do you allow people to contribute? To you appreciate the experience within your team and use it? Are you a leader?

It’s not silly at all to want to dress in a way which makes you feel more confident and professional.

I think there’s some resentment and ageism on this thread!

But I do agree that it’s far more important to deal with any issues head on as much as you can: be assertive and don’t let things pass. Call out the blatant comments and behaviours. If someone is being inappropriate, and you’re their manager, reprimand them.

We used to see this in professional services. Our subject matter experts being treated as children by older non experts. And yes, sometimes a smarter suit (and in one case glasses!) reduced the patronising nonsense.

It shouldn’t be necessary but sometimes people are ageist idiots in much the way some people are sexist idiots (I well remember the feeling that I was being mentally patted on the head by people who made assumptions about me because of my age and sex!).

I get where you are coming from op. I’m older so I can get away with being pretty and cool (kidding), but I think ppl do judge you on these things, especially if you’re young. Ppl resent being managed by someone younger, you’ll earn their respect in time op. Good luck.

When I was clawing my way up the ladder at a relatively young age I always dressed as if I was already promoted. So from the women the next level and two levels above me. That takes out a lot of guesswork and means that you look consistent with the organisation.
When I wanted to quietly hint at my seniority I wore a tailored dress and a good jacket. Day to day I had suits and many tops.