So I was asked to host DH family. I’m working too hard at the moment between work and the household and the kids, nothing in particular just the usual but enough to keep me at the edge of overwhelmed. In the end I felt I just couldn’t put anything else on my plate so I said no and left lots of guilt feelings all around.
It wasn’t so much doing the hosting but the emotional feeling of why on earth should I make my life more difficult than necessary. I was on a rambling thought process of all the times I have given more than my equal share in time, resources, finances, hosted when I didn’t feel up to it, paid more than my fair share for things, worked harder at projects than my spouse / partner / co-worker, gone out of my way to be kind to people, inconvenienced myself to make life easier for someone else.
Was it all worth it? Does it pay to be nice – does it pay in the long-term physically? Does it pay in feel-good emotional resources? Is life long enough that what comes round goes round? Or is it each man to his own and you got to look out for yourself in this harsh and sometimes ugly world?
YANBU – life is tough and it’s a dog eats dog world. You got to look out for yourself and put your own interests first because nobody else is going to do it for you
YABU – the world is full of people with deficiencies and we must all be there for each other and look out for one another, it's the only way we can survive