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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say car ownership shouldn't be seen as the default

451 replies

Sidslaw · 06/09/2023 17:33

several posts on here about financial problems, all claiming the car is "needed" and not up for discussion

People tend to set up their lives with the assumption that they will drive - surely with the climate in the stat it is in it should now be the other way around? People to set up their lives with the assumption that they will not drive, as the default.

I don't drive, I am dyspraxic, so can't and always knew I wouldn't, and it has never been an issue, as I have chosen the places I live and the jobs I do on that basis. I use public transport, walking, cycling, taxis. I have raised my family as a single mother like this, and my children ( not dyspraxic) have grown up to set up their lives the same.

There is always going to be people who rightly or wrongly think they are an exception, but surely the default should be, don't own a car, don't drive?

OP posts:
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orangegato · 06/09/2023 20:27

Overpopulation is worse for the environment you want to ban babies too OP?

Darhon · 06/09/2023 20:29

How old are you? I’m nearly 50 and my grandfathers drove (both born in the 1910s). In fact the 1930s-1950s was the prime time for the development of towns and cities predicated on car ownership. See the development of new towns and suburbs and houses with garages and drives. You’re about 100 years too late to suggest lifestyle choices based on not owning a car. The fact we built infrastructure that is reliant on having a car is what is making it difficult to phase it out and afford replacement public transport.

Cupofteafortwo · 06/09/2023 20:29

What a stupid comment! I live on a mountain and drive between 30-150 miles per day to get my sites when not working from home with a car full of kit. Impossible to do without a car. People can’t do their jobs unless I do mine.

ReginaRegina · 06/09/2023 20:31

youhavenoshameonyourface · 06/09/2023 19:33

workmen

wow

It's pretty accurate tbf. Don't see many women digging the roads.

Gremlins101 · 06/09/2023 20:32

Sidslaw · 06/09/2023 17:39

But this is what I mean by setting up your life though, you choose to live somewhere where you depend on driving, or you choose to live somewhere where you don't.

But clearly, you are content to "set up your life" somewhere you don't need to have a car. I live in rural Ireland. To "set myself up to not need a car" I'd probably have to move country or at least move to a city in ireland and thereby giving up everything I know and love and never visiting a rural beach or forest again. I get that many aspects of rural life will have to be rejigged to accommodate climate mitigation, but this "if I do it why doesn't everyone else do it" is a bit simplistic. Yes, lots of people choose to live somewhere they need a car, but someone's got to live there, haven't they?!

alwaysmovingforwards · 06/09/2023 20:32

NopeNotMe1 · 06/09/2023 17:35

Completely depends on where you live. Middle of a large city you can mostly get by without. A village in the middle of nowhere, not so much.

Yup, pretty much this.

VeronicaSawyer89 · 06/09/2023 20:33

It all depends on where you live or what job you do. My husband works permanent nights, his job is 7 miles away. No public transport at 1 am from here to there. He wouldn't be able to work if we didn't have a car.

youhavenoshameonyourface · 06/09/2023 20:37

BintuBintu · 06/09/2023 20:22

This is probably the most depressing thing I've read on this site.

Yes, depressing, but true. Everyone knows it deep down.

AllyCart · 06/09/2023 20:40

Sidslaw · 06/09/2023 18:04

no, it just takes an adjustment of expectations that is all. Non of my children baulked at getting home at 7, it was their life, it was normal for them

Why have you had children?

Having children is the worst thing you can do for the environment and the planet in general.

youhavenoshameonyourface · 06/09/2023 20:42

Skethylita · 06/09/2023 20:24

I hope to goddess you don't have children so you don't wish this upon them.

Yes, unfortunately I'd had one child before realising how depressingly one way the situation was. Didn't have any more because of it. He knows the state of climate change, all chidren know, they're not daft, it's all over the news every day.

Environmentalists and scientists were ridiculed and ignored in the 70's and 80's when there was a chance to reverse this.

It's too late. Everyone knows that right?

Cramlington567 · 06/09/2023 20:49

Its the amount of short journeys by car that seem unnecessary. Like the school run. Less than a mile is an easy walk for most people. I know some live further away and need to then carry on to work which is many more miles away and some have disabilities or have to carry tools for work etc But a hell of a lot of journeys less than a mile could be done on foot. Might help with the nation's health (physical and mental) good example for kids and reduces air pollution and is free.

Public transport improvements sound great but I must agree the behaviour on public transport can be awful and this puts a lot of people off. That is harder to fix and needs more than money. Maybe cycling infrastructure is a better investment, must be cheaper per mile than almost any other transport infrastructure.

Gremlins101 · 06/09/2023 20:58

Sidslaw · 06/09/2023 18:12

No, I wouldn't drive, if I could, because it is so bad for the environment. None of my children drive, for the same reason.

My point is because it was never an option for me, I set up my life without it, and because my children decided it wasn't an option they would be taking, they have set up their lives without it too.

The trouble is, people set up their lives with driving, then say they can't manage without - but they could have managed without if they had set up their lives differently, and chosen jobs and homes with that in mind

People don't just set up their lives to drive! People have lives that they are born into or end up in. I was born in a rural area and my roots are there. Whose going to provide food, if not for farmers? Should people just walk away from their farms and elderly parents and community? You're being very simplistic.

BathingBeauty · 06/09/2023 21:00

How will the bus drivers/ train drivers get to work without cars?
How will people work shifts finishing in the middle of the night?

Schools would totally collapse. You might not realise it but your secondary school might have staff on site from 5am. Our site staff/catering staff started coming in from them. Other staff from 7am, sometimes earlier.
We know hospitals would be a disaster.
DH works somewhere there is zero public transport, it’s not safe to walk along the road and there are no paths anyway.

We’d need to build an incredibly complex public transport system that ran 24 hours a day. We can’t manage rhe system we have now.

Gremlins101 · 06/09/2023 21:02

Sidslaw · 06/09/2023 18:13

All these people who think they can't do without cars - what happens if you get say, a vertigo attack today, and you licence is suspended tomorrow? It happen to thousands of people - and they then have to cope without driving.

In some cases, it's bloody awful. My friend couldn't drive after he got his brain tumour. Guess how everyone got him to work, hospital, social events, etc? They drove him! Because otherwise he couldn't work, get treatment or see friends for the remainder of his life. Come on, OP.

Gremlins101 · 06/09/2023 21:05

Sidslaw · 06/09/2023 18:27

Yes, I am for real, I have at least one hospital appointment a week, and chose a hospital I can easily reach by train, and during train strikes, or when I have to be there before the earlies train, I have used a taxi, and there is also hospital transport as a back up, which I have never yet needed

Suggesting that someone with a sick kid uproots their life and family to live closer to the hospital so they don't selfishly pollute the planet is pretty shitty. And who " chooses" a hospital? You literally go where they tell you to go.

NIparty · 06/09/2023 21:13

Odfod. Goady cow.

girlfriend44 · 06/09/2023 21:14

It's up to the individual, but people are always going to have cars, we are never going back to the days when people didn't own them.

It makes life easier having a car, you can't do everything you want to on a bus and as quickly and you can drive door to door, and you can't get a bus at night etc.

Say also you need to get to someone in the middle of the night and there is no bus running.

You can't have certain holidays without a car.
You can't carry everything that you need on your person, you can carry stuff in your boot.
Need I go on. Pretty obvious why people have cars really.

girlfriend44 · 06/09/2023 21:14

It's up to the individual, but people are always going to have cars, we are never going back to the days when people didn't own them.

It makes life easier having a car, you can't do everything you want to on a bus and as quickly and you can drive door to door, and you can't get a bus at night etc.

Say also you need to get to someone in the middle of the night and there is no bus running.

You can't have certain holidays without a car.
You can't carry everything that you need on your person, you can carry stuff in your boot.
Need I go on. Pretty obvious why people have cars really.

Scunnered123 · 06/09/2023 21:21

Rural areas tend to be badly served by public transport. However, most (about 85%) of us live in urban areas. Most people work fairly standard office hours.

There are exceptions, but most people don't "need" a car, they "want" a car. It's undeniably convenient, nobody can argue with that. However many people who dismiss the idea of using public transport have never actually tried it, and I mean really tried. Single tickets are expensive but bulk/season tickets work out far cheaper. You need to plan better, but again not impossible.

Most car users can give you a list of justifications why public transport doesn't work for them, but in reality for many it comes down to convenience.

DiscoBeat · 06/09/2023 21:22

It's all relative, isn't it. We have buses once an hour which is fine but they stop at 5pm and don't run on Sundays. Then we have a long walk from the bus stop so not easy with a week's shopping, for example. Other people I know who have moved into town from our village have given up their cars so it works both ways.

comedownwithme · 06/09/2023 21:22

@Sidslaw

No, I wouldn't drive, if I could, because it is so bad for the environment. None of my children drive, for the same reason.

You do realise how utterly stupid you sound now?

DiscoBeat · 06/09/2023 21:24

NB although we absolutely need to drive (eg school run) we do have a full electric car.

WaitTheNoo · 06/09/2023 21:26

I mean it's all well and good planning not to drive but in the last year I've had two separate occasions where someone in my family has had to use the car to get someone to the hospital urgently (10 mins away!) because an ambulance wasn't available. The first time that person sadly died. The second time was my DD and I've never been so glad to have it.

Just this month I read a post on here saying similar, pretty sure their DD was unconscious in her car seat as mum was trying to get there.

Honestly I mostly have a car for emergencies and for taking stuff to the skip / recycling centre (because the council services have been decimated). I went a couple years without one but I see it as a necessity now. I really don't give a shit about the environment because it's all just greenwashing. It's companies and billionaires flying around on private jets (hey Taylor) that need to change long before we do.

Lannielou · 06/09/2023 21:27

I live in rural Devon, driving and having a car is essential. My children all drive or are learning.

youhavenoshameonyourface · 06/09/2023 21:38

I really don't give a shit about the environment because it's all just greenwashing. It's companies and billionaires flying around on private jets (hey Taylor) that need to change long before we do.

Here here.

Everyone in the UK could disappear off the face of the earth and climate change will still race ahead due to the way multinationals and dictator states operate their businesses.

We are practically insignificant. Our efforts are futile.

Drive. Be happy while it lasts.

If you really want to help at the coalface of climate change (pardon the pun) - rehome someone from a flood plain, a melting permafrost town or help drought countries replenish their disappearing water supply. Walking to Asda is absolutely, totally pointless now.

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