Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect visitors to take their shoes off?

279 replies

marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 15:19

Just that really! Do you take off your shoes in the home or keep them on?

I'm pretty house proud and I like a tidy home, not a germaphope by any means but I take pride in keeping my home fresh and clean. (Well as much as I can with a toddler!) I think it's really rude to walk into someone else's home with outside shoes on where there's spit, shit, dirt and whatever else. If I had wooden floors maybe that'd be different.

Someone came for an appointment today walked in with their shoes on and left dirt on our stone coloured carpet. WIBU to tell people to remove their shoes if they walk in with them on? DD(2) takes shoes off and puts them on the shoe rack. I just think it's gross but maybe I'm the odd one! It's just how I was brought up!

OP posts:
EleMar · 06/09/2023 16:00

Shoes off in our house too, unless it's a dinner party or other formal occasion in which case I don't mind (but I mop before going to bed). Our friends know so they bring spare socks for example, and I also wash the floors before they arrive. It's not really about germs but more about actual dirt and feeling comfortable in a clean environment (I live in London so I get plenty of dirt and germs outside!)

saythatagaintome · 06/09/2023 16:01

I have a crawling lo at home, so yes! Shoes come off.

Idc if you feel uncomfortable… I make up for it with a nice cup of tea/coffee/drink.

I also always pass the vacuum and swifter pad soaked in warm water with Dr bronners over the floors once guests have left. ..just incase they have athletes foot 😂 but I’m a bit neurotic with this stuff..

VictoriaVenkman · 06/09/2023 16:03

YABU. If you want shoes taken off, say so.

Ladybug85789 · 06/09/2023 16:06

No I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to ask people to remove their shoes it’s very hard to clean carpet especially a light coloured one. However you might want to look into how unhygienic carpets are as I read they are dirtier than a toilet no matter how much you clean them, that’s why most European countries don’t use them.

EffortlesslyInelegant · 06/09/2023 16:06

YABU. If you saw the state of my trotters you'd be begging me to put my shoes back on!

Aworldofmyown · 06/09/2023 16:08

I don't care if it makes guests uncomfortable, it's my bloody house!!! Your disgusting shoes make me uncomfortable!!
(I don't really like people tbh 😆)

nadine90 · 06/09/2023 16:10

I do home visits as a lone worker and would not take my shoes off as pp mentioned in case of the need for a quick escape. However nice the people or the home may seem, you just never know what might happen.
I think it's fine to ask guests who presumably know you well and feel comfortable to remove their shoes (and can say no and choose not to come if that's an issue) but not people who are working.
Having workers round is surely not that common an occurrence, that giving your floors an extra hoover/mop after they have left is such a huge inconvenience?

ActDottie · 06/09/2023 16:12

Yanbu particularly if the downstairs has carpet then to me it’s pretty standard to take shoes off.

Ragwort · 06/09/2023 16:12

I can't understand pet owners asking guests to take their shoes off... surely your dog/cat is a lot more unhygienic? (Although I did recently see a dog wearing little overshoes Grin).
If you expect guests to remove their shoes then you should make it clear to them ... I visited a new friend at her home recently and she sent a very politely worded email making it clear her's was a 'shoes off household so we could bring our own slippers - or at least make sure we were wearing presentable socks.

'.

Spanne · 06/09/2023 16:14

I don’t wear shoes in my own home. My guests can do whatever makes them comfortable. I’ll take shoes off if I visit people and that’s their preference.

Marleymoo42 · 06/09/2023 16:15

Different social norms. In laws demand everyone takes them off. My parents don't really care because they have dogs and spend most of their time outdoors in wellies which they obviously switch to shoes when they come in.

It's nice having clean carpets but a bit weird expecting guests to hobble about removing shoes for short visits. Also find it weird at events where people have made an effort with their outfit and then leave their clean smart shoes by the door and sit around in tights and holey socks. Also a massive pain if you are going in and out of the garden.

Not removing muddy shoes is rude though.

MaryShelley1818 · 06/09/2023 16:16

I take my shoes off at the door although I don't ask guests to (some choose to). I always just ask and do whatever the host prefers, genuinely doesn't bother me either way.

tattygrl · 06/09/2023 16:17

Greensleeves · 06/09/2023 15:33

I think it's rude and unwelcoming to ask guests to remove their shoes. It's putting your comfort ahead of others'. If I'm worried someone has sullied my carpet, I just clean it when they've gone. Some people feel very inhibited about taking shoes off in front of others.

I absolutely agree.

Cyclebabble · 06/09/2023 16:18

In our Indian households we always remove shoes and most guests would do the same. We accept that if someone who does not understand our customers arrives and does not remove shoes that this is fine, but generally we would always remove.

Netcam · 06/09/2023 16:20

We have a no shoes rule in our house. I do ask visitors to take them off. But if someone is just coming in to the hall and kitchen/diner for a short time, I might make an exception, as we have tiled floors downstairs that I can wipe afterwards. We used to have a hairdresser who came to the house and cut our hair in the kitchen, she kept her shoes on. But I mopped the floor after she'd gone, since it got covered in hair.

Zimunya · 06/09/2023 16:23

We have easy to clean wooden floors. We take our shoes off on arrival, but would not insist that a visitor does that, although I'm grateful when they do. Hate going to no-shoe houses where they offer you slippers, though. I have no idea how clean those slippers are, who wore them before me, and how many warts and verrucas they had. Yuck. Happy to wash my feet if the homeowner wants, completely happy to be barefoot, but definitely won't be wearing any dodgy slippers, thank you!

WhamBamThankU · 06/09/2023 16:25

When I go to other peoples houses I take note of whether they take shoes off or not and always off the to. Just manners

LakieLady · 06/09/2023 16:30

I hate houses where they insist you take your shoes off. I have a long history of plantar fasciitis and Achilles tendonitis, and my Achilles tendons are unusually short. Walking around or standing barefoot for a while is often enough to cause pain.

I'm very thorough at wiping my feet though!

jolaylasofia · 06/09/2023 16:30

always shoes off. i live in a culture where it would be the worst thing in the world to go in someone's home with your shoes on. I also have a toddler who is rolling round the floor as we speak- wouldn't want someone's dirty shoes on it.

mindutopia · 06/09/2023 16:32

We are a shoes off house. You take them off at the door and you carry them in. I've lived lots of places (outside the UK) where this is just the norm and I can't get around wearing shoes indoors. Also, we live on a farm, so you have to walk through mud and potentially animal shit to even get to the door. It's obvious you shouldn't bring that into the house. With people coming to do work on the house though, I do make an exception because they can be doing work where protecting their feet is important. I just clean the floor after (even though it pains me to have to do it). Everyone else though is instructed to remove shoes.

jannier · 06/09/2023 16:37

Had a man take his shoes off once and spent an hour gagging wondering if I could ask him to put them on again....

Curseofthenation · 06/09/2023 16:38

We allow people to wear shoes downstairs on the wooden flooring. We don't allow shoes upstairs on carpet. I do find it a bit gross to have dirt dragged over carpets.

CwmYoy · 06/09/2023 16:40

It's very rude to ask visitors to remove their shoes. No one I know does this. It's weird.

NewMeNewYou · 06/09/2023 16:43

I'm in 2 minds.
I get why you would ask, we generally have ours off at home but I visit houses regularly for my job and never offer to take my shoes off (I'm a GP) need them on in case I need to make a quick exit (yes I have been backed into the corner of a room on a visit) and also you don't know what's on the floor...some homes are disgusting.

Slicedpeaches · 06/09/2023 16:52

I do a load of home visits with work and always just copy the people in the house.
If they are wearing shoes inside I leave mine on, if they are barefoot or in socks I take mine off. Usually people who expect you take off your shoes pause while your coming in to allow you time to take them off so its obvious without them asking.

The only times I mind taking them off is when the floor is cluttered to the point where you cannot walk on the floor but have to step on things. It makes me a bit nervous that I don't know what I'm going to step in. Or when you are invited to take off your shoes then led into the garden, that has happened a few times and seems pointless as then I have to walk my 'outsidey' socks back through their house.

Swipe left for the next trending thread