Is it just them? Or is there a way to say I don’t like people touching me without people taking offence?

5 replies

HeartInMyHand · 06/09/2023 15:04

And also, how can I het people to remember?

I just really, really don’t want anyone to touch me.
So many times it has to be said again, or they don’t care - worse they laugh and force a hug, or they taki it personally and now are angry.

How can this be navigated?

OP posts:

DrNowt · 06/09/2023 15:10

Is it a particular group of people or a general thing? A friend of mine told a group (of colleagues, me included) that she didn't like hugs and I was mortified that I'd probably hugged her in the past. Some people made a joke of it, the rest of us respected it, remembered and thought absolutely no less of her. My daughter's best friend also doesn't like hugs and my daughter understands this, since age 5, as we explained it that hugs are not the way her friend shows she cares and it isn't nice to hug her if she doesn't like it.
You should tell people, definitely. And it only reflects on them if they can't respect it. Sorry it's been a struggle, it really shouldn't be, it's more common than most people think, probably.

ntmdino · 06/09/2023 15:19

Visibly flinch as they touch you. They'll get the message.

I'm autistic, and I have a completely involuntary flinch with everyone but OH - uninvited contact genuinely feels like an electric shock to me. Even the militantly-tactile folk get with the programme fairly quickly (they usually look even more uncomfortable than I am).

PinkBuffalo · 06/09/2023 15:22

ntmdino · 06/09/2023 15:19

Visibly flinch as they touch you. They'll get the message.

I am autism as well and must do the same as no one will come near me especially if start mentioning it feels crowded!

if I am having a tough time and some one out they hand on me out in concern they have sometimes regretted that again that is involuntary though

I would just keep saying I do not like to be touched as peoples come towards you

MotherofGorgons · 06/09/2023 15:23

Just say I am not a hugger. I respect that. Especially in this heat wave.

ManchesterLu · 06/09/2023 15:37

It's so difficult isn't it. I know a guy who's very hands on (with everyone) in his late 60s, and when he's talking he'll pat me on the leg or if he's saying something to cheer me up he'll say don't worry, chin up (or similar) while rubbing my leg. I don't even know why but it completely creeps me out. I've known him for 2 years and he's been doing it the whole time, so I feel like it's a bit awkward to say anything now.

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