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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find this quite odd from TA?

38 replies

Bluey124 · 06/09/2023 12:48

DD is 8. Happy, enjoys school, has friends, quiet but nothing wrong with that.
Yesterday the new TA and I got chatting and she mentioned that DD had an 'accent'. Weirdly, she does but I haven't mentioned it to her because don't want to embarrass her. I sort of shrugged it off to the TA and said that's just how she speaks and she replied with 'Yes. It's a sign of autism sometimes' and then just looked at me. I said this has never been addressed to me by a teacher or nursery staff and she just repeated that it was one of many signs of autism. I asked again if DD had been OK and happy during the day and she said she had. So now I dont know what to make of it all. Aibu to wonder what you think of this ?

OP posts:

Cheeesus · 06/09/2023 12:50

I’d think that she was pointing out that it can be a sign of autism. What do you mean exactly?

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 06/09/2023 12:51

Oh, some people are obsessed with seeing signs of autism everywhere, think no more of it.

Shame, because resources are then unavailable for those who do have autism.

Singleandproud · 06/09/2023 12:54

TA probably meant well, fresh from training yesterday however is completely overstepping, suggestions of SEND should come from the sendco after the class teacher has flagged it up to them.

I'd send an email FAO the Sendco, just to let you know Ms ABC said.... To me in the playground yesterday. If you have concerns could we arrange a meeting please.

S/he'll send one back thanking you, tell you everything is (probably) fine but then have a word in the next staff meeting that staff need to flag any concerns straight to him/her before going to the parents.

wherethedevildontgo · 06/09/2023 12:54

Yeah, that's odd. Lots of things can be signs of autism. Not really relevant unless it's causing her problems.

WtfHormones · 06/09/2023 12:54

Id have a chat with the teacher to see what they have to say. I'd definitely want to know weather it was just a throw away comment or a genuine concern.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 06/09/2023 12:56

What do you mean by an accent? Not one shared by the rest of her family or the area you live / previously lived presumably?

Is it slightly American - maybe from watching stuff online?

Spendonsend · 06/09/2023 12:56

I agree with Singleandproud

Sonny89 · 06/09/2023 12:59

As a TA myself this isn’t appropriate. This is something that they should mention to the teacher/senco not directly to a parent. And it certainly shouldn’t be a casual conversation out of nowhere! It’s not professional at all.

Original poster

Bluey124 · 06/09/2023 13:02

A bit northern but also people have said kiwi or Australian. I havent given much thought to it really and just see it as a quirk of hers.
She is happy and has friends so I never have had concerns.
Yes, I think I will email the teacher to get some peace of mind. Doesn't seem right that a TA can just come out with that but then I dont know much about autism and how it presents.

OP posts:

Whatswhatwhichiswhich · 06/09/2023 13:02

Me, DD, DS1, DS2 all have odd afflictions with our “accents”, we also really struggle to sound Scottish despite being born and bred Scottish. It is part of ASD though it is not a defining trait of it and if your DD is displaying no other traits of ASD then I’d outright ignore her.

CustardySergeant · 06/09/2023 13:04

What kind of accent does she have? Does she speak like the policeman in Allo Allo, or in an accent she will have heard from a member of the family or what? Do you know where she hears this accent and why she is copying it?

Whatswhatwhichiswhich · 06/09/2023 13:04

Though I will say me, DD and DS2 have never struggled with friendships or relationships despite having ASD - I wouldn’t hold that up as a sign your DD is fine alone either. But as I’ve said if you have not spotted any issues with your DD or her development then ignore the TA.

CustardySergeant · 06/09/2023 13:04

Cross-posted- I'm a slow typist, sorry.

Silvergreenblue · 06/09/2023 13:08

Maybe she's been watching too much Bluey! 😆

Smidge001 · 06/09/2023 13:09

Given your name on mumsnet, does your child watch a lot of Bluey? Wouldn't be surprised if they picked up an aussie/NZ twang from that.

jolaylasofia · 06/09/2023 13:09

my daughters have an american accent- only at school. we are expats living in middle east and all the kids at school have very americanised accents when speaking english.
At home they sound like me....think lenny henry.

does her accent change depending on who she is talking to?

Dinoswearunderpants · 06/09/2023 13:09

Does your child have SEN? Is that way the TA works with her?

Most TA's barely have any qualifications, much less to diagnosis autism.

Is this something that's concerned you previously? If not, then I'd brush it off. You could speak to the Teacher and explain what was said for their opinion.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 06/09/2023 13:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Singleandproud · 06/09/2023 13:14

To add on to my earlier post, if it turns out that Sendco does have concerns it really isn't the end of the world.

Autism affects everyone differently but if she has attended primary with no issues so far then that's great and no intervention is needed.

The problems for girls often start on the transition to secondary school. If you were to research this (and you really dont need to on a throw away comment about an accent) then make sure you are looking at autism in girls as it presents very differently. With the right school and the right adjustments autistic children can thrive at school, many dont and you'll read a lot of the negative media/posts because no one posts when things are going well but it isn't necessarily all doom and gloom.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 06/09/2023 13:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Lilolilibet · 06/09/2023 13:26

The ta needs a firm word. She's not trained to worry you.

tattygrl · 06/09/2023 13:26

Setting aside the specific incident in the OP, I just want to address the abiding view that many people seem to have that as long as possible autism or other SEN isn't causing problems currently, no diagnosis or intervention is needed - as an autistic adult I strongly disagree with this. If autism (or any condition) is suspected, seek diagnosis. Autism doesn't automatically equal suffering and misery - it's brain wiring. You can be perfectly happy and content and be autistic. Getting a diagnosis as early as possible is always best, because seeking a diagnosis at the point of struggle or crisis is ten times harder, and there are no guarantees of getting seen quickly. Get the diagnosis/assessment out of the way early, then if help is ever needed (throughout childhood and beyond), the diagnosis is there to open the doorways to it.

Again, I'm not commenting on this situation specifically, just on the attitude that as long as a child is happy, they don't need a diagnosis for a potential condition.

BodegaSushi · 06/09/2023 13:33

It's odd to speak in a different accent but the TA is a busybody. It's not her place, it would be very frowned upon by the school.

Itwasntmeguv · 06/09/2023 13:38

Does she watch Tiktok, Youtube etc., or watch TV shows set in another country? My great niece has a definite American twang and her mum is convinced she's picking it up from screen stuff....

WanderingWitches · 06/09/2023 13:42

It is a trait, but not in isolation it isn't.
I'm diagnosed and I've been asked where my accent is from all my life. People have guessed mostly South African. I'm born and bred Lancashire 🤣

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