I used to have a good local friend. We'd meet for coffee most weeks, have each others' kids over for playdates and dinners after school etc. This friend is also a core member of my local social circle.
Since lockdown, my DH has taken a REALLY strong dislike to her. Says she's been rude and disrespectful to him, and he doesn't want her in the house, or our children to play together. When I've asked what the rudeness was, he said she ignored him on a couple of occasions, 'she's funny with me', she was 'talking about him'.
I can't believe that she has actually done anything. She's a lovely person, always willing to help out. I've never heard her say a bad word about anyone, and never heard anyone else say a bad word about her. DH's description totally does not match the person I know. Even if it were true, the level of dislike he displays is out of all proportion to the alleged crime. You'd think she'd beaten our children!!
'Thanks' to the pandemic, DH is now working from home and I'm struggling to resume any local friendships. I've explained that I feel very cut off, and need my friends. He says everyone else is fine, it's just this one person. And that I should prioritise him over her - as his wife, I should be on his side, believe him unconditionally, and cut her out of my life.
The trouble is, it's not just her. He's had outbursts about others in my social circle, including one who was a good friend of his for years before DH and I even met. He now either says he didn't have any problem with these others, or that it was just something tiny, and it doesn't bother him now.
When DH thought that my friend was badmouthing him to others in the village, I had a very vague chat with my friend to see what others thought of him. Thought I could reassure DH that no-one thought anything about him. That completely back-fired - he got extremely angry and hit me.
I think we need counselling. He thinks there isn't a problem.