Hi so I’m currently pregnant with my first child. I’m happily married and do have a few good friends which I’m so so grateful for. Due to both our families not getting on over a big fallout i have a constant fear it’s gonna happen again. Before it did happen conveniently a few of my close friends walked out on me leaving me with not much option to talk through what I was going through so this meant my mental health was in a very dark place. I’m so scared this will happen again. I have definitely got and have had fear of abandonment for many years and can suffer from low self esteem. Since that whole fallout I’ve made a few new friends who I love and reconnected with some old ones. My guyfriend who is experienced with kids and he’d be such a good help and support to me when hubby is at work. I can talk to him about anything but I have this stupid fear that my ex best friend will take him away from me. This friend who I can just talk and talk for hours about anything really gets me. Now my husband really gets me too but if something happens with the families again I can’t constantly vent to my husband and I can’t vent to my family either because they don’t really understand me and think they know best. This guyfriend knows the family situation and says he’s always here for me. I’m so scared to lose him and other friends as I’ve never had that close knit community in my family. Never felt like there’s a place in this world for me and that I shouldn’t be here. I’m sorry I’m going on and sounding very ungrateful but I need people in my life to distract me from shit that happens. My friend really does that for me. I also get scared he’ll end up in a toxic relationship and it’ll take him away. It’s happened before. Why am I so worried?