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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the most ill you’ve been looking after a baby alone? I feel like I’m in hell!

57 replies

qccbsp · 05/09/2023 10:25

I feel horrendous. Home with a one year old. I actually don’t know how I will survive the day. Literally nobody to help.

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/09/2023 10:51

Lots of times when dh used to work away, you just have to get on with it best you can to get through the day. Hope you feel better soon x

Spottytoddler · 05/09/2023 10:51

Me, 3 year old and 1 year old all had covid. I could barely stand. 1 year old had a temp of 39. DH had to drive to the other side of the country to see his dying father for the last time, I couldn’t ask him not to go. It was pretty horrendous tbh. I remember we set up camp in my eldest’s bedroom and we all slept in there, it was better than my room as there were already toys available. I just let them help themselves to whatever snacks I had brought upstairs. iPad was plugged into the charger and just on CBeebies programmes constantly. That was a very rough 48 hours. You can do this!

Coral569 · 05/09/2023 10:52

I had horrendous vertigo and had forgotten to drink any water for a day or two (I really struggled in the early days) and I remember holding onto walls and doors as I carried my 3 month old baby because the world was spinning and I was staggering around. I had him tucked under my arm as I crawled up the stairs and I remember trying to sing to him as I puked because he was crying next to me. I remember it very clearly!

Have you got any friends you can message even if it's just for moral support? Don't try to do any housework today, just let it slide. Nap whenever you get a spare moment, keep sipping cold water (I find using a straw helps for some reason) and try to eat small amounts for energy. I hope you feel better soon!

sunnydayhereandnow · 05/09/2023 10:58

Hugs, as single parents all of us have been there at some point (d&v, strep, flu...). You'll make it but prioritise you: screen time for kid, or put them in cot with electronic toys, give them the simplest food possible, and time your drugs to have the effect when you need it most. I found it helps to keep anti-diahorrea medicine and plenty of paracetamol, and strep tests (if you can get them in the uk, because then you can ask for antibiotics if you need them). Also, it's really worth calling upon neighbours etc in this kind of situation. Anyone reasonable is generally happy to bring you things if you need them.

peachgreen · 05/09/2023 11:03

DD was 2 so it was a bit easier than it would have been when she was a baby (I think). Chest infection. I had to crawl on my hands and knees to the stove, dragging a chair so I could sit down while I made DD beans on toast because I half-fainted any time I stood up. We'd just moved to the area so I knew barely anyone. I had to call a woman from a playgroup DD had been to a handful of times to pick up my antibiotics prescription for me. DH had already died so nobody to take over in the evening either. It was HIDEOUS, but we made it. TV, TV and more TV.

BooksAndHooks · 05/09/2023 11:06

Most ill was when I was 15 weeks pregnant with a toddler and had pneumonia. Never been so ill in my life.

Oioicaptain · 05/09/2023 11:37

It's hideous isn't it op! Are there any emergency nannies/childcare assistants in your area? Do you have a whatsApp street group?

Favouritefruits · 05/09/2023 11:39

Yes, it’s hell on earth but you’ll get through with TV and takeaways, you’re not the first parent to go through this and you won’t be the last, just do whatever you can to get to bedtime! Good luck!

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 11:41

I had proper flu once and a baby and toddler. Toddler had a bag of skips for dinner. Worst time ever

Jules912 · 05/09/2023 11:41

Norovirus with a 3 year old and a 2 month old who didn't like being put down. I did call DH to help but he was on the way home from work with the same thing! We managed by plonking the 3 year old in front of whatever tv would hold his attention and passing the baby to whichever one of us wasn't currently throwing up.

BananaSlug · 05/09/2023 11:43

D&V 5 week old baby and 3 other children under 7. Lone parent. Absolutely horrendous.

Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 05/09/2023 11:44

Once had the migraine from hell and 4 x dc under 7. Got 1 to school via a neighbour, 1 to a friend's and 2 left... An old mate hadn't seen for years landed on my doorstep. Never been so pleased to see an unannounced guest!

gogomoto · 05/09/2023 11:47

Several times, just use the electronic babysitter and prioritise safety over everything eg put them in their cot/set up travel cot in living room and if they cry whilst you are doing something necessary (eg throwing up/on loo) try not to worry, they are safe.

Moonlightsonatas · 05/09/2023 11:49

Had a migraine, was vomiting and couldn’t see. Husband couldn’t get the day off work. It was absolutely horrendous. You will get through it, you go into survival mode. Whatever you can do to get through the day, do it.

Bubop · 05/09/2023 11:49

A sickness bug that hit me a toddler DS in the middle of the night when DH was working away. You have my sympathy, it’s awful looking after them when you feel rubbish yourself.

Massively reduce your standards today. TV and super easy food in your pyjamas Flowers

HowNice23 · 05/09/2023 11:53

Gastroenteritis kicked in when I was driving home from my parents with my youngest as a baby and his toddler brother. They were grizzling/crying, it was messy and agony and scary and I can't quite remember how I got home or into the house. Every red light was torture. It's bad enough when it's just you, but when you have to be a responsible parent at the same time it's just horrendous. Much sympathy, OP, get well soon and hope you can stay home bound at least! x

RexWillKillYou · 05/09/2023 11:53

Had flu when No1 was 6 months old. Didn’t leave bed for a week, and was sick for six weeks. During which she was teething. Horrific.

but… people who have HG plus a toddler make me realize flu isn’t so bad.

historiccastles · 05/09/2023 11:56

The worst for me was when my DDs were 3 and 5 and I'd only just left their dad and moved into a new place with them so they were still unsettled. I got the most horrendous ear infection in both ears and I was in so much pain I took them to the out of hours doctor in the middle of the night to get stronger prescription painkillers. Not sure how I managed it but I did!

AussieManque · 05/09/2023 12:02

Lots of fresh air OP, open all your windows to flush out the virus particles (if that's what you've got) to reduce the overall viral load for you and your little one. This will especially help for something airborne like covid or flu, don't breathe in stale air full of aerosolised virus. Your child might still catch it but the overall dose can make a difference to the severity.

NCGrandParent · 05/09/2023 12:07

D&V with under 1 yr old. Came on suddenly while out shopping. I just remember being in a toilet in a shopping centre when it hit with my pram squeezed in next to me wondering how on earth I was going to get us home. I actually can't remember how we did?! It's awful OP. Sending flowers 🌺

Imdone1 · 05/09/2023 12:11

I had a stomach bug, coming out of both ends😑 with the worst stomach cramps. I wanted to cry

stayathomer · 05/09/2023 12:13

Stomach bug when dh and his family were away (seperately unluckily!). Had to drive to petrol station to get baby food and got sick in the bin outside. Got home and lay on the floor with baby in Moses basket then realised had no nappies. Rang local shop and they delivered and I cursed afterwards that 1. I hadn’t just rang them for the baby milk to and 2. I had neighbours and didn’t ask them for some form of help as I did kind of know them! Hope you feel better soon op

AlltheFs · 05/09/2023 12:16

Norovirus with an EBF baby that didn’t take a bottle. I was simultaneously shitting on the toilet, vomiting in the shower all with DD latched on.

I have never been so dehydrated in my life, the headache was horrendous. I could barely keep any fluid down whilst being sucked dry. The worst 48hrs of my life.

DH was away for work and it was 24hrs before the first lockdown. God that was grim.

Good luck @qccbsp what doesn’t kill you and all that……

slapmyarseandcallmemary · 05/09/2023 12:19

Norovirus with 2 toddlers and a new baby. Was not fun. Hope you're better soon

OneLittleFinger · 05/09/2023 12:20

I had severe back pain and then sciatica with a two year old. The initial attack I had muscle spasms that were worse than labour. That day, after I'd come back from the hospital, dp left to stay with his family for a week (they're not far away and he'd see them every month anyway). He got a telling off from his sister for that!

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