Is this really a big deal ?

[ohlordyllord]

I feel guilty writing this.

I met a really lovely man two months ago after being single for about 6 years since separating /divorcing.

Single by choice, not going to settle for the sake of it etc. kissed a few frogs and I've finally met someone who I really like, massive connection, just wonderful.

BUT there's a bit of an issue in the bedroom. He's very attentive and considerate but he doesn't keep an erection for long.

I feel so bad talking about it, I haven't said anything to him as I'm not sure what to say.

Sex is important to me in a relationship. I need the connection. I don't know what to do. he could take viagra I suppose but does it increase blood pressure? That worries me.

Is it a deal breaker. He's perfect in every other way.

Aibu? wwyd?

It would be a shame to lose a relationship that is otherwise amazing over this. But YANBU to feel this way over something so important to you. For me it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I understand how it would be to some people.

How short is "not for long"?

Talk about it sooner rather than later.

I would have thought it could improve..

Definitely talk about it with him. Are you aware if he takes any particular meds ... SRRIs are notorious for causing sexual dysfunction.

Are we talking premature ejaculation? Or is it a case of pop-and-flop?

There are simple things you can do that could help either case. It's obviously a good idea to talk about it with him, too. There might be something he wants but is scared to ask.

Why does it matter what we would do? It’s what you want that matters here.

Coming from someone who also went through this.. he was the absolute perfect guy for me, I couldn't have asked for anyone better really. But the sex lasted less than a minute! He had a premature ejaculation issue, we tried viagra, everything. Nothing worked. Sometimes I would cry out of frustration, we obviously talked about it and he said he's always had the issue. Sex is very important for a healthy relationship. Ultimately the relationship broke down after 7 months, although we broke up for a separate reason, I belive the frustration and all of our bedroom issues boiled down to the angry blow that ended everything. A year and a half later I met the love of my life, we have been together five years and we have just bought our first home and I'm 7 months pregnant. I'm in my thirties. It's never too late to wait a little longer and you should never settle, especially when your gut is already telling you something.