Binge eating until you’re in pain - a form of self harm?

[Mumofteensendhelp]

Im
23 stone and piling it on
I’m shoving things in my mouth as though I have no control and the more stress I have the more I do it. I’m sat in pain in tears wondering why I have done it. I’m so uncomfortnsel
i can’t move think I’m having a heart attack why do I do this?

Sorry you're suffering with this. After my dh died I remember in the first year or 2 afterwards I'd sometimes stuff food in my mouth that i wasn't enjoying but was doing it in a self destructive way, so yes it can be a type of self harm. Could you speak to your GP and see if she can suggest any groups or other help?

I can relate, I have binge eating disorder and can eat until I’m vomiting or like you feel like I can’t breathe.

Mine is also triggered by stress and being brought up in a household of emotional eaters hasn’t helped.

I take anti anxiety medication and have therapy to help.

Definitely self harming behaviour. I can relate. Sorry you are going through this.

Please seek mental health support; you deserve to feel better than this about yourself

Very much self harming. Compulsive eating is really tough.

Can you avoid therapeutic help?

It sounds like you’re caught up in a cycle of deep emotional pain. I have binged intermittently since I was young due to unmet emotional needs, but it escalated during the pandemic with ordering multiple takeaways a day on top of my weekly shop that tended to include things like cake, packet of biscuits and jar of peanut butter, which I’d polish off on the first couple of days…before going back to ordering takeaways.

I think I was under a lot of stress and was feeling isolated so eating was my sport/fun thing as well as a stress reliever.

In the end I just had to stop ordering things like that. It wasn’t easy but the most worthwhile things often aren’t. I find socialising more and exercising, deep breathing etc helps me not to binge eat.
I no longer think of things like a pastry as a “treat”, but I am a bit more balanced about it and see it as something that can be eaten sometimes but also has the ability to harm me if I go overboard with eating.

Is there anyone you can talk to or seek professional help?

Are you actually aware of what you are doing before it hurts? Do you eat while doing other things, watching TV, reading, etc? Because it may well be habit that has got out of control.

Try focussing on eating only when you are actually eating. This is harder than it sounds because we've become so used to always being entertained, scrolling on phones if there is a moment of inactivity.

Thank you all.
I don’t know if I’m aware I just get stressed and my mind goes to food then I eat so much so quick. When I’m stressed I eat quite aggressively it’s strange. The other day I choked as I wasn’t even chewing.
it’s like I do t see sense it’s like an addiction
I hate it I don’t enjoy it know that but it’s like I hate myself so do it
I wish I could understand it

you are right I have unmet emotional needs and this is my way of blocking out all my sadness so I can go and out a smile on and act as if I’m managing.
today I realised I very rarely acknowledge my feelings anymore

Ofcourse it's a long shot as I don't know you at all. But I used to do this too. Along with other stress related actions obsessions and anxiety.
For a different reason I was tested for ADHD, got diagnosed and learned that all those habits can be common signs of adult ADHD. Medication took my stress down for like 80 percent at the start and I lost about 3 stone in total. Easily, no special action needed. It was my mindset that changed.

Sounds like you're trying to suppress some deep emotional pain - literally swallowing it?

Definitely get some therapy to break this cycle.

I do think I may have adhd. But I can’t afford a diagnosis
what meds do you take

Overeaters Anonymous Great Britain | For anyone with eating issues (oagb.org.uk)

dexamphetamine, which at the start makes you lose weight anyhow due to its content, but this fades, and by then my leptin resistance was cured (this is really useful to google if you don't know, I just learned about this a few months ago) and I just did not think of food in the same way. I ate because I was hungry, stopped when I felt full. Still eat anything I like, but moderated, enjoying the taste and leave it at that.
Medication works like a fright train at the beginning but know (I didn't) that this fades and then it is up to you, with a little help. But by then (about a year later) you have developed into someone who actually can do this.
I found it difficult though to find the right dosage etc. for this you really need to be monitored by a professional. It is costly, but it might be worth it in the end. I can add up all that I save on snacks, McDonald's, red white wine wine, wine, eg

Op. Can you identify what causes your negative or stressed feelings. Firstly Other than your weight. Is there something in your life making you unhappy? A relationship, job, finances, family, friendships, kids?

the weight also is potentially making uou unhappy and possibly uncomfortable or unwell. Sore joints, skin sores, mobility issues, breathing issues, blood pressure, sleep apnea etc, dealing with this all day every day will have a very negative effect mentally and leave you struggling to deal with any further stress.

could the aggressive bingeing be a reaction to not wanting or being able to deal with it? To a feeling of helplessness?

when did the bingeing start? Can you pinpoint that? Where in the world are you? I note you say you can’t afford a diagnosis. Is this due to medical insurance or job impacts?

I think it’s worth starting your journey by speaking to a doctor. Every journey starts with a first step, and you deserve to be happy and healthy. So taking that first step on your own journey is really important.

.

Highly recommend listening to the brain over binge podcast, really good and especially at helping that feeling that you are broken in some way.