Universal credit

[Strawberriesandcreammm]

I’m a new mum unfortunately a single parent to my beautiful 10month old I’ve unfortunately and embarrassingly had to accept universal credits help, I cannot return to my job as I have no family to take my baby and I’m too worried about nursery at this age point in my baby’s life.
i live privately rented just me and my little one and I’m only able to get £1,000 that’s including my £650 rent and I’m worried I’m not going to be able to survive? Does anyone have any advice?

Depends on your situation back then and how long ago you are talking about.
How you juggled it all and paid childcare, because unless someone pays extra hours for someone on UC for example to use the free 15 hrs to work, it's not easy to find something within those hours.

I think you're doing your baby a bit of a disservice by not sending him into nursery because of your anxiety.
I get it, I really do.. I also had a traumatic birth.. but many, many women who put their kids into nursery to go off to work also really don't want to be apart from their kids too.
Is it fair to you and your child to struggle financially? With the greatest of respect OP, you don't sound like you can afford not to work. Nobody who relies on UC will be living comfortably.

If you're given the full £650 for your rent then the amounts are definitely off unless you've got large deductions for advance repayments, income or savings.

Check your statement online, it will give you a breakdown of everything.

Depending on your age, your entitlement will be either £292.11 (under 25) or £368.74 (over 25)
You'll then be entitled to £269.58 for your child, plus £650 for your rent. That's either £1211.69 or £1288.32.
I don't know how the maternity pay works so you may get deductions for that.

That should be why then, re: what you get at the moment; because you still have money coming in, i'm sure that's it.

£650 a month sounds reasonable enough. No where cheaper in my town.

Theres no way you can do a cleaning job with those circumstances. Have you thought about going to Uni and getting qualified? As a mature student you can do a foundation course if you didn’t make A levels / GCSE’s, then a degree in a subject that you can have a career in. You get £3,000 to live on 3 times a year plus many other financial forms of help. Most full time courses aren’t anything like 37 hours a week ( mine was turn up for 12 hours). Saved me and got a well paying job afterwards.
In the meantime could you do dog walking, ironing, babysitting as you have time on your hands?

You will have to live very frugally but it can be done, get rid of any unnecessary bills/subscriptions, budget every penny for your food shop, meal plan etc. It will be extremely hard but it's doable, if you don't feel like it's going to be possible then you'll have no choice but to find a job and put your baby in childcare

Depends where you live etc if working full time and getting so much cover from UC to pay rent etc.
Maybe you have a lower rent.

I’ve currently applied for part time jobs within the role I have closer to me, I am qualified as it is within my role as part of emergancy services so I’m fully aware of the drop in pay working within mental health myself and also struggling with it it’s very hard to just switch taht mindset off just because someone it’s typing to me that I’ll be harming my child more by staying off when infact I am still struggling myself. I wouldn’t just give up all my hard work studying qualifying graduating just to throw it all away for some universal credit, the truth is I have no family and no partner and all of this has been a lot for me with no one to speak to I’ve joined mums clubs to be able to just meet people take my child to sensory classes and baby groups so he can meet other babies I am trying but I am severely stressed.

There is no real pressure from Uc to look for work until your child is 3 years old currently but working does make you much better off and managing just on basic Uc is difficult. Uc will pay 85% of childcare costs once you start work . maybe just try to manage on the Uc until your child is a bit older then build up hours gradually ?

I think OP has said she is early 20's.
Do you really advise someone in their 40's to start doing all that, no way could I consider it.

I’m hoping to get a three day a week job in the community with part time hours within my role and my baby to go to nursery three days a week. It’s just stressful more than anything especially with no one like who even counts someone they can talk to a therapist life’s pretty lonely having a child

It's not low, £1200 a month is more than some people that work get.

Rent is paid so that's good.

You'll get help on council tax too, make sure you apply for that.woth local council.

Some Water companies do a tariff for UC claimants etc.

Some Electric and Gas companies will offer assistance to unemployed / low income.

BT Internet also do a package for UC Claimants that is more than adequate and is cheaper than most providers.

NHS Prescriptions should be cheap or free, as should dentist treatments.

You'll also get Cost Of Living payments, possibly anyway, depending on when the criteria months are.

Also whilst your child is under 1 you won't be expected to job hunt etc. I think it's 3 years old you'll be expected to job hunt and be prepared to take a job under 16 hours a week.

Sounds like you need to claim UC and get another job and they give you about 1 - 3 years to sort it out.

Have you spoken to the hospital to see if they can offer any counselling/ birth trauma debrief etc. Or your GP should be able to refer you for some talking therapy ?

Yeah but if you only earned £1200 a month then you'd get UC top ups so they'd be better off than op

I think they helped with my council tax I think anyway… I’m not so worried about the time scale to get a job as I know I want to be working by the time my child is 12months because I do not drive I’m applying locally for my role but unfortunately only full time hours are wanted currently.

I am seeing a counsellor under the NHS and also CBT team it’s just overwhelming I’ve never suffered until giving birth and I’ve just found myself in a lonely place when my partner left me a 8 months pregnant and I got signed off early due to threatened miscarriage so it’s just been a whirlwind I’m normally on the other side of all of this

Yes much better off especially if they had kids as they get the work allowance as well.

I earn 2,300 so it’s a very big loss I’m having

yes well it will be a big reduction in income going from a reasonably well paid job to being solely reliant on benefits but it sounds like it is a career you will be able to go back to so at least you know it is only short term until you are in a better place mentally. You are lucky you seem o have a decently paid career for someone so young.

Thank you well I hope so, I think it would be easier if you could speak to people face to face rather than in journals or over the phone the stress is what gets to me the most😅

hopefully only another two months then back to it 🤞🤞🤞🤞

This

Please read the rest before just sharing one bit🙏

You're right. I ran the UC Calculator I use and a single person renting a social home and no kids that's earning £1200 a month would get about £385.58 UC on top. 👍

It’s a normal amount for UC and families have to manage on that. You can’t compare to your income - you have gone on to UC because you need it to hold you over, not as an equivalent to income.

the real issue is that you sound incredibly lonely and stressed.

what your child’s father did to you was awful. I’m sorry that to hear he hurt you like that.

Sounds like you’ve had the rug pulled out from under your feet and you’re in a place you hadn’t expected to find yourself.

A previous poster recommended a birth de-brief. I’ve never had this myself but have heard it can be helpful. Also look into EMDR therapy as it’s supposed to have amazing results.

having a baby is soooooo stressful at the best of times. Relentless. Being without help is just awful too.

I 100% get anxiety so I’m not going to suggest you just “put the baby into nursery” but might I suggest (if you haven’t yet) visiting some local ones to get a feel for them. Or childminders.

If you’re on maternity, will you lose your job if you refuse to go back? Because then you will get stuck in a UC loop. You’ll rapidly run out of money and won’t be able to afford to put your child into nursery for the first few months of a new role so will be stuck not able to take a job at all.

also, you need a break psychologically:

• You could pay (counterintuitive when you have little spare money I know) for a babysitter to come and play with your child for two hours as a one off, while you’re in your house with them. This will allow you to get used to someone else watching your child without the pressure of having to leave them and give you time to just sit - you need some rest and that’s ok.
• Cut yourself some mental slack. Accept your house will be messy and your kid will miss a bath every so often and just sit down and do nothing - when we have young kids we just feel like we have to be entertaining/cooking/cleaning/routine-ing. We don’t. Especially when they’re tiny, you can choose spend a whole day at home just watching movies and waving toys in their face from the comfort of your own bed. It’s ok.

Also remember that lots of the people you meet with kids the same age as yours will have older children and already be in their own routines. They won’t have the same impetus to make new friends. Also some areas just have super cliquey baby groups - don’t take it personally.

friendships happen more easily at school gates but don’t give up in the meantime! just really really, don’t take it personally.

do you have any friends in the area? Is it a new area to you?
Are you stuck there?

You’ll be ok. Kids have phases. Things change fast so you’ll be doing different things in a few months and then different new things a few months after that. It’s true so hold onto that when you’re struggling with the Groundhog Days.

You will get through this.

I know of a family with three children only receiving just over £300 more than you. It's shockingly low and I don't know how people manage on it.

So it's £1161 not £1000?