To not take out dd & 1 particular friend

[maryslambb]

Dd11 has a friend she is v fond of, who is really the main out of school friend she has.

This friends mum doesn't drive or seem to work very much so every outing has been me taking them and mainly me paying until i started asking for contributions.

The last outing was arranged on the basis that i pay but mum covers her child, she agreed and said she would transfer me the money.

The outing is over. Still no payment 2 weeks on. Me & dh have both realised it's not going to happen.

I feel i shouldn't have to send a reminder as if i am some sort of debt collector! That doesn't sit right with me.

Instead i have decided to not take them out again.

I feel rubbish as my dd misses out but i feel really disrespected. This mum has never once taken my dd out, even locally. Nor has she ever offered to pay i have always had to ask in advance.

It is made worse as her dh & my dh are good friends.

Aibu? Do i just do free things for my dd. Although nothing is ever free; even a park trip turns into popping to the shop etc!

If the mum doesn’t work much maybe she doesn’t have the money to give you.

If you are taking DD & she is inviting friend, maybe they initially thought that, as she was invited, maybe it was a treat you were paying for?

Stick to free stuff and take packed lunches/treat things from home. It’s awful to be in the situation where you can’t afford so much as a can of coke but someone else is expecting you to hand cash over.

Your husband and the kid’s husband are good friends, but somehow this has fallen on you? Have your husband talk to his good friend about it!

I think just take them out to free things or just have her round the house? I think a few drinks/ sweets at the shop is fair enough, it would be petty to expect payment for that, but there's no need to be taking them to the cinema, bowling etc and paying for both. But again, it might be because she can't afford it rather than deliberately trying to be cheeky?