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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Strangers commenting on my body

27 replies

Eve223 · 04/09/2023 14:37

It's hard to believe people when they tell you that you're beautiful and your size doesn't matter when you have others tell you that you're not worth it, you're fat, and openly make fun of your body out in public. Publicly comment on and like women who are the complete opposite of you and wonder why you're so self conscious. Bitch you're the reason why I'm so self conscious, why my self-esteem is in the toilet, why I don't believe that I'm good enough for anyone. And to top it off I had some random old guy make fun of my lower legs today... Saying that "her lower legs are as big as my waist ...she doesn't need to be here". I had gone to to Greggs for the first time in a while because I wanted to go and get a coffee and a sandwich.I really didn't need the comment from the old guy when I'm already down. I already feel like shit, worthless and not good enough. I'm done

OP posts:
Faytella2020 · 04/09/2023 14:39

You've posted this before ?

Comedycook · 04/09/2023 14:42

People are so incredibly rude...I mean wtaf has your body got to do with him. What a c*nt. Sorry you're feeling down now.

talkito · 04/09/2023 14:44

Screw them
Enjoy your coffee and sandwich

They are non factors in your life.

Literally if they were to disappear it would have 0 impact on your life.

Don't give them a second thought

Tell him if his waist is that tiny he probably needs to hit the gym

Idiot

AgnesX · 04/09/2023 14:45

Did you tell him to fuck off. Not very useful I know but might have helped you feel better for a short while.

Try not to let these useless contributions to the human race get to you.

Bananas1350 · 04/09/2023 14:51

I once had an elderly man ask if I was going to sit in the car and eat all the cakes I was buying in one go.

Ykn · 04/09/2023 14:54

I once brought some cakes into the office on my last day there. The bully manager (who was mostly why I was leaving) came out of his office and loudly asked me if I'd be eating them all.

People can be so deliberately cruel.

talkito · 04/09/2023 14:55

Ykn · 04/09/2023 14:54

I once brought some cakes into the office on my last day there. The bully manager (who was mostly why I was leaving) came out of his office and loudly asked me if I'd be eating them all.

People can be so deliberately cruel.

I used to get that alllll the time.

Back then I weighed between 42 and 44 kgs for 160cm.

People are rude and weird

SplendidDaysInTheGarden · 04/09/2023 15:01

I get it. It sucks so much. I was an ugly duckling until I was early 20's and the amount of people who would comment on my lack of attractiveness was unreal. Once I was minding my own business in a bus station when I was 19 when an old man sat beside me and said I really need to give you some advice, some girls look better in the dark. I just ran to the toilets an cried and cried. Ffs, I was just waiting for a bus home after a long and shitty day. I honesty just wanted to die. I'm not that unattractive girl anymore and I now get completely the opposite reaction to my appearance but, Jesus Christ, I'm still the same wounded, scared, damaged girl underneath. I just have a good looking disguise that I wear now, so I'm socially acceptable. It's shit because I'm still just me. I still cry sometimes at night about how horrible it all was.

Tibbb · 04/09/2023 15:14

A former colleague once told me it's not his fault that I look like the back end of a bus Sad

krustykittens · 04/09/2023 15:17

It's amazing how many men need to go around making women and girls feel shit about themselves, isn't it? OP, YOU are not the problem, or any of the other women on this thread. I was skinny in my youth and had men mock my lack of cleavage, then I got boobs, then I had men tell me I looked disgusting and slutty because of them, when my hair was short I was an angry dyke and frigid, on and fucking on. It mattered not what weight I was or how I presented myself, there was always a man out there who wanted to make me feel shit JUST FOR EXISITING! I love being 50 and invisible to these cunts but my stock answer has always been, "You might think I look like shit but I wouldn't give you a sympathy wank. What does that say about you?"

MimiBaker · 04/09/2023 15:22

And to top it off I had some random old guy make fun of my lower legs today... Saying that "her lower legs are as big as my waist ...she doesn't need to be here".

"Oi, Grandad, don't worry, one day your penis might be bigger than your nose. Then again..."

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/09/2023 15:46

krustykittens · 04/09/2023 15:17

It's amazing how many men need to go around making women and girls feel shit about themselves, isn't it? OP, YOU are not the problem, or any of the other women on this thread. I was skinny in my youth and had men mock my lack of cleavage, then I got boobs, then I had men tell me I looked disgusting and slutty because of them, when my hair was short I was an angry dyke and frigid, on and fucking on. It mattered not what weight I was or how I presented myself, there was always a man out there who wanted to make me feel shit JUST FOR EXISITING! I love being 50 and invisible to these cunts but my stock answer has always been, "You might think I look like shit but I wouldn't give you a sympathy wank. What does that say about you?"

This is so true. I was very skinny and had hardly any bust and got horrible comments as well as wolf whistles and others, who chanted at me that I was frigid etc. I’m now obese due to illness and the wrong side of 50. It’s just vile men being vile men. I also enjoy the invisibility.

willWillSmithsmith · 04/09/2023 16:14

Some people are just ignorant and horrible, I’ve no idea why. Years ago in my (much) thinner days one of the bosses at work declared that I had legs like pipe cleaners. So uncalled for and so very rude. It’s like people just don’t get that making nasty personal comments about a person is bad manners, hurtful and humiliating.

Maryjaneslastdance · 04/09/2023 16:15

Eve223 · 04/09/2023 14:37

It's hard to believe people when they tell you that you're beautiful and your size doesn't matter when you have others tell you that you're not worth it, you're fat, and openly make fun of your body out in public. Publicly comment on and like women who are the complete opposite of you and wonder why you're so self conscious. Bitch you're the reason why I'm so self conscious, why my self-esteem is in the toilet, why I don't believe that I'm good enough for anyone. And to top it off I had some random old guy make fun of my lower legs today... Saying that "her lower legs are as big as my waist ...she doesn't need to be here". I had gone to to Greggs for the first time in a while because I wanted to go and get a coffee and a sandwich.I really didn't need the comment from the old guy when I'm already down. I already feel like shit, worthless and not good enough. I'm done

Why are you posting about this again? Some people think it's OK to do this. Just shake your head and move on

Ykn · 04/09/2023 17:05

Why should it matter if OP has posted it again?

Gnomegnomegnome · 04/09/2023 17:08

How do you react when people put you down like that? Do you retaliate?

Eve223 · 04/09/2023 17:11

I don't know how to react other than ignoring them.

OP posts:
Potatolovers · 04/09/2023 17:17

And you have a caring personality in equal measure, he cannot undo his arseholery

Cudz · 04/09/2023 17:19

I went out at the weekend into town on a girls night for the first time in a long time and I was shocked at the way men think it was acceptable to just comment on my body constantly. I have lost a fair bit of weight and had a tight dress on that I'm fairness I felt good in and felt like it showed my body off nicely. I did this for me and my friends and not for anyone else. I cannot tell you how many sleazy men (from teenagers through to men in their 50s) felt it was OK to just walk up to me and tell me what they wanted to do to me. No hello, no conversation just straight into filth and trying to grab me. Seriously so many men are so shallow and pathetic and only focused on one thing. It actually made me feel really disgusting like I was just some object and then I started questioning myself because I'd chosen such a slim fitting dress. Then I realised its nothing to do with me - it's just that a lot of men out there are disgusting perverts who think they are superior to women. Gross!

Potatolovers · 04/09/2023 17:34

100% Agee

PickledMuffin · 04/09/2023 17:36

I don't get how people can be so rude and disrespectful. Ignore them, they're not worth your attention. Sending a virtual hug 🤗

Gnomegnomegnome · 04/09/2023 17:46

Would you feel comfortable telling them to not be rude (and inwardly scream fuck off you stupid twat)?

CurlewKate · 04/09/2023 17:53

It sounds horrible. But please- knock off the ageism.

Eve223 · 04/09/2023 18:19

Gnomegnomegnome · 04/09/2023 17:46

Would you feel comfortable telling them to not be rude (and inwardly scream fuck off you stupid twat)?

Have tried that before and had "well you shouldn't be so FAT" and similar in reply.

OP posts:
RamsesTheChub · 04/09/2023 18:42

I understand your pain, it's really not much to ask for people to keep their nasty opinions to themselves. Sadly, a lot of people go out of their way to be cruel.

It's bad enough with strangers, but that moment when people (friends, partner, family) - who seem to accept you for you - react to some other big person with a nasty comment or dirty look, makes you want to crawl under a rock.