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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going to school on your birthday?

131 replies

DinnaeFashYersel · 04/09/2023 08:47

My 15 year old birthday boy has headed off this morning seething with injustice at being made to go to school on his birthday.

He's never had the day off before but claims "everyone" else does and is full on grumpy teenager 😂about it.

Do people really give their children their birthdays off school?

Am I unreasonable to make him go to school or should I have given the wee snowflake the day off?

(Note for context: we are in Scotland so this is the 3rd week of term and not the first day back)

YABU: unreasonable, wee snowflake should be resting in his bed playing on the xbox
YANBU: get his erse to school

OP posts:
JustWhatWeDontNeed · 04/09/2023 08:55

Nope, day off for birthdays has never been a thing in my life.

In primary it was customary to bring sweets in for everyone on your birthday, which you gave out at the end of the day. Secondary was just a normal day, celebrating after school.

My SS (going into Y11) tried to tell me that at the end of year 11 "everyone" takes a friend on their overseas summer holiday with them 😂

PuttingDownRoots · 04/09/2023 08:58

I spent my 16th birthday doing my GCSE maths and French exams.

In the real world nothing stops for birthdays... you just have to get on with things and celebrate on the evening or at the weekend.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 04/09/2023 09:01

DS's birthday is this week - it's always a bit of a roulette about if he'll have his birthday off! In ten years, he's been off about 3 times, one of those times was after Covid when school decided they had to staggered the days year groups came back.

But other than that, your birthday is just another day. Go to school. Especially at 15!

WhateverMate · 04/09/2023 09:03

My 3 always went on their birthdays.

Oysterbabe · 04/09/2023 09:03

Both of mine have birthdays in the Christmas holidays, but if they didn't they would be going 100%

Curtainpoles · 04/09/2023 09:04

I am born in the middle of the summer holidays so never had to go to school on my birthday - and I was jealous of people that did because everyone sang to them and the teacher would let them wear a badge all day 😁
My friends were always away on holiday over my birthday!

anothertrainwreck · 04/09/2023 09:05

It’s never been a thing I knew of but I am governor at an English primary school and apparently it is a thing!

usernother · 04/09/2023 09:06

I used to do community work in a very deprived area. It was traditional for parents to keep their children off school on their birthday. I'd never heard of this before and I really didn't understand why because most of them had bad school attendance anyway so I didn't think it was much of a treat.

Gerrataere · 04/09/2023 09:06

My birthday usually falls (fell?) in a school holiday anyway but the rare occasions it didn’t I’d never have the day off. One of my siblings is August born and actually hated it never being a school day, she’d have much rather been in and had everyone making a fuss of her! One of my children has a ‘always a school holiday’ birthday as well, the other will be going to school on his unless it’s the weekend.

NavyLeague · 04/09/2023 09:06

I never took my birthday off until my 50th! Kids always went to school too

Having the day off school is not a thing!

Jevwaypock · 04/09/2023 09:08

I always send my son in, and tbh he doesn’t mind because all of his friends are there anyway! Wait until he is older and has to use precious annual leave if he wants his bday off then he’ll miss school 😂😂 Hope he has a nice birthday!

whyayepetal · 04/09/2023 09:09

My DDs both went in on their birthdays - it was fine. Sweets in primary as PP have said, a bit of a fuss from friends/ massive birthday badge if wanted (one did, one didn’t!) in secondary.

They also both had classmates who never attended on their birthday, and for those kids it was usually something that the whole family did. For one family, they were off if it was another close family member’s birthday as well.

CoteDOpale · 04/09/2023 09:10

I’d actually never considered it!

Mine was over the Christmas holidays so never had to worry. Always book it off work.

Current company gives a ‘birthday half day’, so only need to use half a day AL to take the whole day.

But with kids, you run the risk of fines etc. and wouldn’t want DC to be in trouble or judged by the school. It sounds shit though so he has my sympathy.

Sirzy · 04/09/2023 09:11

My 21st was spent in a maths exam at uni!

never had birthdays off, never given DS his birthday off. Never even crossed my mind too.

neleh87 · 04/09/2023 09:12

I'm a primary teacher and the vast majority of children come in on their birthday. I think I can remember only one occasion in ten years where a child was off on their birthday. The children like having happy birthday sung to them, and they used to being sweets in (now sadly banned by school).

Before I was a teacher, I would book my birthday off work. It's been a few years since I've had to work on my birthday though, because of weekends/bank holidays/covid/maternity leave.

Dinoboymama · 04/09/2023 09:13

I can see this argument coming from my middle child, her brother's birthdays always fall into holidays here.

No days off for birthdays although my DH takes days off for all our birthdays so I could see her logic if she ever did click she's the only one.

BaaCode · 04/09/2023 09:14

One of mine is an August baby so never had school on birthdays, which the others thought was unfair because they had to go to school on theirs. Apparently I'm a bad mum for not having them in the school holidays too 😂
I always had to go to school on mine.

BiddyPop · 04/09/2023 09:16

The "norm" has always been you go to school if it's a school day. Why else would teachers keep a "Happy Birthday" crown in their classrooms for junior classes?

The only people who don't are those who were born in holiday times (summer, Christmas etc - Easter moves so it's hit and miss for those people) or those whose date happens to fall on a weekend or other non-school day this year.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 04/09/2023 09:16

PuttingDownRoots · 04/09/2023 08:58

I spent my 16th birthday doing my GCSE maths and French exams.

In the real world nothing stops for birthdays... you just have to get on with things and celebrate on the evening or at the weekend.

Spent mine doing end of term exams (Latin and RE, IIRC). However, dessert at lunch was trifle and I was allowed the cherries on top by classmates 'as it is your birthday.'

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 04/09/2023 09:17

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 04/09/2023 09:16

Spent mine doing end of term exams (Latin and RE, IIRC). However, dessert at lunch was trifle and I was allowed the cherries on top by classmates 'as it is your birthday.'

Show quote history

Fourteenth, not sixteenth. I've worked more birthdays than I can remember, as well.

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/09/2023 09:17

Ours never had days off. Don’t recall any friends doing so either.

ItstimeToMoveagain · 04/09/2023 09:18

Mine often fell in the easter hols other than that no. My 12 year old sulked this year but that was because his brother who's birthday is the month before was off on his due to strikes

ACynicalDad · 04/09/2023 09:19

Mine go in, I always went in. If they hated school and were being bullied I might rethink for their birthdays, but no, they should go.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 04/09/2023 09:28

Absolutely not. My DDs have to go into school on their birthdays and I wouldn't countenance any other way. DD15 tries to get the day off for her sports day last term as 'aaaaallll her friends were' and I said no. Apparently I was awful and draconian and didn't understand. Grin

Anyway you can't opt out of stuff you don't fancy doing in adult life so there's no way I'm teaching her it's ok to do that at school. Funnily enough her friends actually did end up going in for sports day.

SockQueen · 04/09/2023 09:31

PuttingDownRoots · 04/09/2023 08:58

I spent my 16th birthday doing my GCSE maths and French exams.

In the real world nothing stops for birthdays... you just have to get on with things and celebrate on the evening or at the weekend.

Snap! Exactly the same exams too. Had A-levels and uni exams most years as well. Just got to get on with it.