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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear a black dress to a wedding?

51 replies

lockdownbabyx · 03/09/2023 22:44

7 months postpartum so I don't really feel comfortable in much at the moment. For some reason I feel more confident in black.

The wedding is end of September and we're going all day. What do you think? Is an all black dress ok?

OP posts:
MariaVT65 · 04/09/2023 14:36

I think black is totally fine. Wear what you feel comfortable in. I know people on here are suggesting navy, but once you get to evening, people wouldn’t be able to tell the difference under disco lights. Don’t put yourself out financially either if you already have a dress you can wear.

MadisonAvenue · 04/09/2023 14:40

I’ve been to five weddings in the last four years and worn black dresses with colourful accessories to four of them and I’ve not been the only one.

I don’t like being all dressed up and black is what I feel most comfortable and confident in when I'm out of my jeans and top comfort zone.

BaronessBomburst · 04/09/2023 14:41

I had to wear a black dress to a wedding when DS was 4 months old because I was BF and it was the only thing I had. I accessorised it with red shoes, my red changing bag, and a big red corsage. I got a few compliments so I reckon I got away with it. 😉

Malapataraso · 04/09/2023 20:14

I have never in my life heard that black is inappropriate for a wedding.

RabbitsRock · 04/09/2023 20:16

I wore black & white to my friend’s wedding & got loads of compliments.

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 04/09/2023 20:23

As others have said OP, unless you’re wearing it with a black veil and weeping there’s nothing wrong with it! If your feel a bit self consciousness add a bright accessory. It’s a slimming colour and you should wear what you feel comfortable in.

I’m sure the happy couple would rather you felt comfortable than sit all night feeling like crap because someone online said it wasn’t ‘wedding etiquette!

BobbinThreadbare123 · 04/09/2023 20:24

It isn't rude to wear black to weddings.
Sincerely,
Goths

Courgeon · 04/09/2023 20:27

I'm wearing a black dress with a flowery pattern on with red accessories to a wedding this weekend. I think it's fine. I've ordered so many dresses and returned them I've lost the will to live with it! This dress was cheap, looks nice and can be dressed down the rest of the time to be worn to work. Win.

AnSolas · 04/09/2023 20:31

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 03/09/2023 23:42

My mother in law wore black to our wedding including black hat with black veil. I think you'll be OK!

Did you resisted congratulating her on having her funeral outfit sorted so early???😬

Jerseymilkshake · 04/09/2023 20:35

I've worn black to many weddings before and nobody has ever had a problem.

jallopeno · 04/09/2023 20:36

No. It will draw attention and you know it. Try navy or at least a floral pattern on black

jallopeno · 04/09/2023 20:36

Courgeon · 04/09/2023 20:27

I'm wearing a black dress with a flowery pattern on with red accessories to a wedding this weekend. I think it's fine. I've ordered so many dresses and returned them I've lost the will to live with it! This dress was cheap, looks nice and can be dressed down the rest of the time to be worn to work. Win.

That is different. The flowers stop it being black black

jallopeno · 04/09/2023 20:37

D1nopawus · 04/09/2023 14:30

It's not great. Fair enough lots of people don't mind but it is outside the understood etiquette for wedding guests.

So you either look like you don't know any better, or you do know but don't care enough for the couple getting married to follow the protocol.

Find something fabulous and don't be a twat would be my advice.

This tbh

gogomoto · 04/09/2023 20:38

I wouldn't unless evening only and winter. How about navy or dark green?

MariaVT65 · 05/09/2023 11:40

I still think you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in OP. Most normal people don’t care what guests wear to weddings (as long as it isn’t an all-white gown). I’ve been 3 funerals and none of them had everyone wearing black either.

Also, you are postpartum. My experience of reading mumsnet threads is that weddings aren’t always particularly considerate of new mums and babies. I also went to wedding at the weekend at 27 weeks pregnant, and I certainly wasn’t considered, so go ahead and wear what you like :)

ColleenDonaghy · 05/09/2023 11:46

Nothing more chic than a little black dress.

However, if there's a heatwave and it's blazing sunshine, will you feel out of place? In which case go with navy or similar. Nothing actually wrong with it though Smile

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 05/09/2023 11:52

This is MN so wearing black means you're a horrible bitch who has no social etiquette or knowledge

In reality no one generally cares what you wear

RuthW · 05/09/2023 12:17

Yes along as you wear a bright buttonhole snd fascinator and maybe a bright jacket

MinnieMouse0 · 05/09/2023 12:21

100% fine to wear black to a wedding.

I don’t tend to as there are so many other lovely colours but I wouldn’t be opposed to it.

Purplecatshopaholic · 05/09/2023 12:25

Black is fine to a wedding. This is 2023!

teenysaladandsniffofarose · 05/09/2023 12:26

I recently wore a black summery midi dress with hood heels and a white and gold bag, I felt really good and comfortable!

As long as it's not a work/ formal style dress I'd go for it

queenMab99 · 05/09/2023 12:33

I wore a black silk shift
dress and jacket to my own wedding, with a lovely cream hat and veil. It was my 2nd marriage and I was 48.
I wanted a dress that I could wear again and again that wouldn't date. I did wear it lots, with bright coloured pashminas.

LadyBird1973 · 05/09/2023 12:38

I've done it. I do think it was noticed and remarked upon by two of my more bitchy 'friends', but I don't see that what I wear is anyone else's business (provided it's occasion appropriate, so not a t shirt with an offensive slogan for example). It was still a nice dress. Provided you aren't turning up in a white gown with a veil, or doing a Raquel Welch and upstaging the bride, you should be fine.

LadyBird1973 · 05/09/2023 12:41

My mum also wore black to my wedding - she happens to like black and I think the last time I saw her wear anything vaguely colourful it was 1978!
People will take offence where they want to - you can't legislate for that (and shouldn't try to).

TheChosenTwo · 05/09/2023 12:49

I recently went to a wedding in a dress that was black but with colourful flowers on it, I wore fuchsia pink shoes as they went with the colours in the dress and a similarly pink bag, it was knee length and I think it looked alright.
There was another guest in a floorlength black dress with black hat and veil, black shoes and bag, I just thought it was a little odd and like she was going to a funeral! She looked gorgeous but a little out of place.
It’s not that I think it’s rude, it just sort of seems a bit juxtaposed with a happy celebration being top to toe black.

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