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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My mum (nanny to my children)

1 reply

Emmabmumof3 · 03/09/2023 22:12

My Mum has never been the ‘supportive’ type. She didn’t have her mum around to help her when she had me and my brother. Lived 3 hours away and only got together for Christmas or Easter. I had my son at 21 (completely on my own as the dad did a runner). Even then, although living 5 mins walking distance up the road, my mum was never there. Like never! We had quite a toxic relationship. Now at 35 and with a loving partner and 2 more beautiful children, I’ve learnt to let things go. Like just don’t expect anything. We’ve just had summer holidays and my mum had my girls for 1.5hrs the whole time. And moaned about it! She doesn’t work, she lives up the road and she knows how stressed I’ve been. The main thing is that I’ve been pretty much begging for her to have my older son round for tea or to watch a film etc. we always have these talks and nothing ever bloody happens!! I’m so done with it all :(

OP posts:
continentallentil · 04/09/2023 00:02

Yep, you have every right to be disappointed she doesn’t want a relationship with her grandchildren. That is a bum deal.

You can also be legitimately disappointed that she didn’t want to help with childcare, but she isn’t obligated to do that - she already raised you. A lot of grandparents don’t want to do a second round of childcare and that’s fair enough.

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