Why won't my one and a half year old sleep ??

[annoyedmums]

My almost one and a half year old is still such a nightmare sleep wise !!

My DD is three and a half and just fucking GOES TO SLEEP. She hasn't napped for almost a year and just.. goes go to sleep. 7:30ish.

I take them both up together as neither of them can fall asleep without me near them..

So I lie with both of them. DD falls asleep pretty much instantly. DS takes like an hour of him just messing around. It's SO frustrating.

He eventually falls asleep.. then wakes up in the night still and I need to lie down with him again and usually give him some milk too. Then he's also up again earliest, while DD still sleeps ! He has a nap at around 11 am for an hour to an hour and a half. Which I don't think is too long. I start bed time at 7ish. They're usually cuddled up in bed with me by 7:30. He won't sleep though. What can I do ?

Try going up earlier and making the whole bedtime routine a longer wind down.

Zero screens after 5pm

Upstairs at 6 for a bath.

Out by 20 past

10 mins routine of milk, teeth brushing

30 mins just LOADS of stories for them both

7pm lights out

When DC are over tired they go a bit hyper and resist sleep more.

I like those sunset lamp things that fade out to a red night like, they make you feel so sleepy, always helped mine wind down.

At 18m mine were at absolute peak nap, sometimes they'd be crash out for over 3 hours, i doubt the 1.5hrs is an issue

He won't sleep through because he needs you when he wakes because that's how he gets to sleep at 7.

You need to work on the getting to bed first. Then tackle night waking. He needs to (with training) sleep without you there. And your dd. It's not good for them to depend on this.

you could try putting him to bed much closer to the time he naturally falls asleep. Kind of accept that his natural sleep time is an hour or so later than your DD’s. I have 2 DCs who have very different sleep needs, my daughter sleeps much more/easier than my son. Or you could try bringing his bedtime earlier (experiment with times) to see whether he’s actually overtired when you’re trying to put him to bed. That can make them wired and energetic. Good luck - it’s horribly frustrating when you’re in a sleep rut like this.

I tried gentle sleep training and he's an absolute mess. I just can't do it. He's hysterical.

My DD is a bit better but she gets upset if I leave her on her own to fall asleep. She also freaks out in the night when she's on her own and comes to sleep with me.

I have the same age gap and my younger one dropped her nap years before the older one and didn't need as much sleep at night. I'd put them to bed and she'd sneak into his room to play but he would sleep so she'd climb in bed with him. She didn't sleep through until she started school.

I had that.
Dd1 slept 12 hours overnight from 6 weeks, and 3 hours in the afternoon from 6 months. She went down at 8:30pm at the latest.

Dd2 slept no more than 2 hours at a time, and never napped for more than 40 minutes. She didn't go to sleep in the evenings until about 10pm and could happily be up for the day by 2am.
She also did, when woken, go from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat. So she'd wake, wriggle for one second then scream blue murder by 2 seconds in. It was like having a mini fire alarm 3-4 times a night and nothing would shut her up except going in.

I did exactly the same bedtimes/feeding etc. with them both.

I hate to tell you, but nothing worked until I ended up sobbing at the doctor, and he gave me medised for dd2, which is no longer licenced for children. 1/2 a tea spoon and dd2 slept 12 hours that night. The first time I'd had a good night's sleep since she was born. She was over 18 months at the time.
I gave her that for 2 nights, then had a night off it (it said don't give for more than 3 nights in a row) and miraculously she slept 10 hours. And after that she typically slept 8-10 hours at night.

She's now a teen and happily sleeps 12 hours and more...

I would say my older one also dropped her nap pretty early actually. She was only just past two and a half when I stopped letting her nap and also asked nursery not to let her nap because she was staying awake for hours and hours ( until 9:30-10 pm) if she had even a short nap during the day.

But I think at 18 months, he really still needs his nap. I try not to let him nap too long though.

Sorry not much advice to give here but lots of empathy instead.

My DD had a golden phase of sleeping through the night from age 1 which ended after about 6 months. Now she's 1 yr 10m and got this awful habit of randomly waking up around 2-4am and staying awake for literally 6 hours or more.

There's nothing we can do to make her go back to sleep when this happens. There's also no telling that she's going to do it again the coming night (amount of exercise, nap time etc doesn't seem to have influence). She doesn't do this every night but it's at least twice a week now and it's an absolute killer. No idea what to do, we've tried everything we can think of.

One idea I can offer is maybe for your partner could put at least the 1 year old to sleep instead of you? Your older child seems to go to sleep quickly with you so that might as well continue. My DD tends to fall asleep much faster if her dad puts her to bed at night instead of me.