Did I do the right thing leaving my husband?

[Namechange448]

Have left my husband recently and am having second thoughts.
So basically I'm asking was I unreasonable to have left?

Pros, He is a hard worker, pays the mortgage while I'm a SAHM
He is not a womaniser and i would never be worried that he would cheat.
He isn't emotionally or physically abusive.

Cons. It's clear he has an alcohol dependency/functioning alcoholic but he won't admit to it
He's stingy with money
He's moody
He can be bitchy about people which is very off-putting
He has a very complex and strained relationship with his family which affects his mental health
He's paranoid and secretive
Doesn't like most of my family
Never takes our daughter out anywhere
Never sees his friends or has any hobbies, he literally just works and comes home and drinks

I had put a thread up months ago and just need some advice again....so we have plodded along, in more or less silence between eachother. Until last night I eventually got it all out in the open.....his drinking, talking down to me and some off the horrible words I have been called. Much more but I'll leave it at that. He agrees I shouldn't be treated like this, apologies and then starts to turn things around i.e. only is like this as I am so cold with him, doesn't have a drinking problem etc etc...i don't get into this type of debate, been here before and it just goes back and forth. Then says he is moving out (today) will sleep on the streets, doesn't care anymore. I said about buying his half off the house from him, to which I got, I want nothing from you, I don't need your charity!!! Really, it's not me giving you money it's what's owed to you. Is this all a ploy to make me feel more guilty than I already do? This was all said with beer on his part and I have a feeling he will come home tonight and back to silence....any tips for my next steps?? Anyone else slightly lost with taking charge of this whole situation. Thanks for reading....

Another well done for getting out, I was in similar situation but he was high functioning alchoholic, who didn't work, played the system like a pro, debts and loans.
I divorced him, he hated that, best thing I ever did.
You know deep down you did the right thing.

orroroar I really hope for your sake he leaves. 'sleeping on the streets, doesn't care anymore' he won't and he does, total guilt trip what a drama queen! Shut the door behind him and enjoy your new life away from a total waste of space.
He'll soon find another woman to trample over. poor cow

You haven't made a mistake at all. You're still grieving the loss of what your relationship with him should have been but wasn't. You're getting used to a new and unfamiliar life at the same time. Just take it a day at a time but know that you most definitely made the right decision.

Its telling that your pros are all things he is not. So he works hard, that's good...but hardly unique. The other pros are that he us not a cheat and not abusive. These are not reasons to stay!

@Orroroar you're focusing on him and his intentions. You should be focused on your DD's quality of life. He's an alcoholic, he wants a housekeeper and to be able to drink. He isn't giving you that much thought. Why are you even trying to speak to him while he is drinking? How long are you going to flog that dead horse? You might be kidding yourself that this isn't affecting your DD, but it will be doing massive damage.

@Ponoka7 thank you. I am relieved that I have got my point across & it's all out. But that's the thing no matter what I say, it's always brought back to either he only gets on like that when I start to be cold to him or he has had a bad two years, family bereavements. Guilt trip.... But I have stated, the drinking and slurs started well before the bereavements. It's hard just to switch off any feelings I had for him, 24 years worth. Two teen-agers also which I'm hoping we can both explain the situation to them, I have read so many articles that this is the best way to explain. I literally get knots in my stomach thinking of this stage. Fingers crossed, thank you for replying, it helps.

Really reason out your guilt because you have none. It's him and his reluctance to address his addiction that has ended your marriage. He has changed the person you would have been, the position the family would be in and the Mother you would have been. I was the child of functioning alcoholics. Find your anger.

The grass certainly can’t be much darker than it was!

The pro’s list are basics.

The cons list is not good!

Good decision.